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Hello. I'm new here. I'm a little over 18 weeks pregnant. When I was around 13 weeks pregnant my husband told me he needed time to clear his head, and wanted some time apart. He reassured me that after about a week we would work out whatever the issue was. Well, for that entire week I was a wreck I couldn't eat, sleep, or anything. I couldn't even keep water down! Everything made me sick to my stomach! Well a few days went by and he told me he is in love with another woman and has been for five years!!! We just got married 6 months ago, so it was a total shock! I still wanted to try to work things out for our child. Sadly he refuses! He is nothing but rude and nasty to me at all times! So i'm at the point where I can't even talk to him. All he does is upset be and I obviously don't need that while I'm pregnant.
I'm in the process for filing for legal seperation. In my state we cannot divorce until I've been seperated from him an entire year.
Anyways, I'm debating moving out of state because all of my family, aside from my sister is in another state. I don't know what to do. I spoke to several people, such as family law hotlines who said I can move and there isn't anything he can do to stop me, since there is no child yet. However, I'm not sure if this is the right course of action. I want whats best for me and my son. I'm just so lost, and confused! This whole situation is insane! I still can't wrap my head around it!
Being a mom who was separated and lost everything (yes, I was in a shelter with 3 little children) MOVE. You need to make sure you can take care of yourself and your little one once he is born. If that means moving closer to family so you have that support, then do so. If your ex wishes to be close to his child, then he will find a way. If not, then the courts will work something out for visitation so he can see his son after he is born. True, it may not be all the time, but it is life. Your son will have other family around that loves him. Also you know, your ex can always talk on the phone to his son... So there can be a connection.
I forgot to mention: I had a friend who's dad was out of state. IDK how it worked when she was younger, but I know she went and stayed with him all summer when she was in school and over one holiday and sometimes spring break. I think the parents split the air fare (MI to NM).
Proud mama to:
Clark 6/07 ~ 1lb 13oz. @ 28 weeks
Tyke (Karl) 8/08 ~ 8lbs 3oz @ 39 3/4 weeks
Pork (Laurence) 9/09 ~ 8lbs 3oz @ 36 1/2 weeks
2 angels in heaven 10/06 and 01/11
Last edited by Mom to minions; April 29th, 2011 at 05:40 PM.
Just make the decision that is right in your heart. I can imagine a huge part of your heart is telling you to stay because you love him & want a life & family with him. But just think about the fact that he walked out on your & his own child for his own selfish reasons. That's not a husband. A husband stands by you no matter what and if you can't depend on him to be there when it gets tough, is that really a family? But there is another aspect to consider as well, you have to make the decision if you're done with him. What could easily happen is that when things don't go perfectly with this other woman, he'll come back with his sad sob story & want to pretend everything is fine. You have to be prepared for that as well because if he has the guts to leave you once, he'll do it again. I know that for the child's sake you will say you have to have a relationship with him but you have got to think for what's better for you & your child. If his future with the child is uncertain, I wouldn't want him around at all. He could be good dad this month & then never be heard from again.
You're going to need support so if leaving gives you that support from your family, do what's right for you. Don't stay just to hope things work out with him because you'd be wasting your life & your time and you deserve more respect than someone who turns their back on you & then is nothing but rude & disrespectful to you.