[Charlie2Kairi]

My hubby and I just got off of a cruise a few days ago and after we get home he suddenly says he thinks we should get seperated. He asks me to think of 5 reasons why we should stay together not counting our 2 sons. I was suprised... shocked.. wth brought that on!?!? So i think through the night and make some decisions for myself, I dont want to completely seperate but id like some time away from each other so that i can rediscover who i am...but i dont want to hurt hubby...but im tired of hurting myself by giving him chance after chance. He is always just completely ignoring my thoughts and feelings about everything. I said to him i didnt want to do the cruise this year because it would be too difficult to do financially. but he guilted me into it, then on the cruise even though i said to him over and over not to spend more money than i said to, he did, now we have no money for 2 bills and we cant buy food for a week! We have a little bit of cereal, bread, milk and lettuce that is it! I have to take my sons savings money ...AGAIN in order to buy a little bit to make it last longer. He completely ignored my concern about a car we had, i kept saying the breaks were bad and he insisted they werent so while tryingto pull out of our driveway the breaks go!! I drift into the middle of the road.. if a car had come me and the boys could have been killed! He just never listens to me, that is the biggest reason anymore i do want to do this temporary seperation thing. I do have a friend who wants to help by letting me stay with them for as long as i need to, a guy friend, he said i can get a job down there and rent a room from him. All of the articles i have read said if doing the 'trial seperation' to stay away anywhere from a month to a yr! A yr sounds too long though. I'm so confused though. i want to do this, but in order to do it hubby would wind up for a little bit having the 2 boys, 6 dogs a job and bills to deal with alone. I have to think about myself though too right? I've dealt with this stuff for so long...i wish he never said what he did!! He left me all messed up and confused!!!!!!!

[ebony80]

hmmm, i really dont know how to advice you as i dont know how things work there. i mean, would u be able to get your boys back straight away if you both decided to make your separation permanent?? that would be my biggest worry! is there no way you could take them with you? or your dh leaves instead? sorry i havent helped, but i do hope you figure something out soon

[my3sonsplus1]

If it were me, I would not leave the kids. That could be looked at as abandonment.

[Charlie2Kairi]

I'm not going to completely leave the boys with him, I plan on them being able to be with both of us at times. Plus my one son has a cardiologists appt and I want to be there for him.It's a 4 hour trip and I don't want to make my hubby deal with that alone. Thats in december,I'll prolly stay for a few days or something. Heck maybe i will have even decided to stay back by then. I'd never just completely leave my boys, I love them and no matter what happens they will be able to spend time with mommy and daddy.

[mommy2lilman]

If you were to leave I would take the kids with you. If you didn't work things out and you had moved out and left the kids, no matter how 'involved' you planned to be, it could still be seen as abandonment and you could have a hard time getting custody of them.

I also would not move in with another guy- even renting a room. If you truely want to seperate for awhile, I would take the kiddo's and get a 2bdrm apartment, work, etc.


I took my son when I left his father. I couldn't even imagine considering to leave him behind for even a second.