What has been the biggest struggle of your divorce/separation?

*M* and *N's* Mommy · #1 October 17th, 2011, 08:34 PM

I know for me, it has been the children. Ive lost all feelings for him, I only care if hes happy and thats it. If I had my way I would NEVER speak to him again. A lot has happened between us, and I honestly wish we could just walk away. But for our children that is not possible. I just hope to have a civil relationship with him, but it seems like so much of a struggle because of his girlfriend, she controls everything he does. He and I can not even talk about our children without her running her mouth in the background or altering his mood because she is with him.

mom2aidan · #2 October 19th, 2011, 03:10 PM

Still living in the same house with him. It seems I am put down from time to time or I am living with my parents and have to give him where I am going, who I am going with and if I will even be home that night. Gah it sucks.

mommy2lilman · #3 October 27th, 2011, 05:25 AM

I would say getting back on my feet financial wise. For almost 2 years Frederick and I lived off state aid and now things have finally turned around for us.

orrickster · #4 October 31st, 2011, 12:34 PM

I gotta say my ex's GF. She's absolutely ridiculous. Has to control everything that involves my son and thinks she's better than me. Right. Not to mention all those months that she was stalking me while I was at work. That's calmed down some since she's been caught, but I still get the occasional phone call. She smokes around my son (who has asthma) and I have reason to believe has been giving him regular milk (which he can't have) on their weekends. Twice now he's come home with really bad poops. He comes home often with a fever (due to 2nd/3rd hand smoke and their disgusting house) and I'm left staying home from work because he can't go to daycare.

Mollyjayne · #5 November 2nd, 2011, 04:15 PM

The guilt has been super rough. It's my fault we are separated. I don't want to cause anymore pain than I steady have so I pretty much let my ex do as he pleases. That means he has my daughter durring the week durring the school year and I have her on weekends. This reverses in the summer. It's a super hard transition for me since I was a married single mom for so long and now he's a super dad. I'd try to keep
Her durring the week but it'd only hurt him
More, and it's kind of nice seeing him step up and
Be the dad he never was.

Tina Swithin · #6 November 7th, 2011, 03:41 PM

My custody battle was the hardest part-- lasted 2.5 years and just ended. I am thrilled that it is over.

mommy2lilman · #7 November 8th, 2011, 05:45 AM

Sorry you had to go through a custody battle. Did you win?

Tina Swithin · #8 November 8th, 2011, 06:03 AM

Many ups and downs-- trying to prove that he was a danger....when he appeared SO put together and held a great job. He is a narcissist and he's a scary person. To the court-- he held a six-figure job, his parents are teachers who have been married for 30 years....it was the biggest battle of my life. A unexpected twist at the end and I walked away with 100% custody. He has four daytime visits per month-- if he shows up. "Winning" was all that mattered to him-- not our daughters. Here is my blog-- it's in progress and I am detailing the custody battle (be patient!): onemomsbattle.com

*M* and *N's* Mommy · #9 November 9th, 2011, 07:16 PM

I am so sorry Tina!!! Mine is the same way.. he shows hes on way and is sooooo good at manipulating ppl its not even funny. And making ppl believe anything! And its like he only wants to hurt me... n not worried about the boys and the things he is putting the boys in the middle of.