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Is separation a good or bad thing?


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  • 1 Post By TeresaMomTo2Boys

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  #1  
January 13th, 2012, 10:20 AM
tfitz07's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central PA
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Hi everyone. My DH and I have been having a lot of issues for a long time. We both have areas that we need to work on, but what it basically boils down to, is that we have completely different priorities in life. Mine being family, and his career. I'm not saying he's a bad father, but he definitely spends more time working than at home. We have 2 children, our youngest is only 1 month old, and I feel so depressed thinking about my family being torn apart. After a huge arguement last night and this morning, DH has decided that he wants to move out because being here is not healthy for him or the kids. He says that he wants to start counseling also, although this morning he was against it and said that it was a waste of time. I'm just not sure that separation will be good for us. How can we work out the problems that we have when we're together, when we're not even living in the same house? And the fact that many of our arguements are about him not being here, and now he wants to be away even more, doesn't seem to make sense.

Has separation actually worked to save a marriage, or do you think it just was a long way around divorce? Help!
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  #2  
January 15th, 2012, 10:21 PM
TeresaMomTo2Boys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Lewisville Texas
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I can tell you I ended up leaving my DH because of the things he did and we are separated. In Texas we cannot be legally separated but we can file that we are living separately (if that makes sense). Either way, we didnt separate to see if the marriage would work out but this is the 2nd time we've been separated but this time we've already filed for divorce. Every time I am around him, I feel like he isn't telling me the truth and I am not worth and the more I am away from him, the more I feel like he is living the life he has always wanted to live and doesn't have the balls to tell me about it and so we fight and argue a lot more than we did when we were married.
I hope you get everything resolved whether it be to work it out or to go separate ways.
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  #3  
January 17th, 2012, 01:52 PM
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My ex and I talked about a legal separation, but it didn't really make sense in our situation. I have known a few couples who have actually benefited from separation and went on to have happy marriages. So I guess it does work for some people.
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  #4  
March 20th, 2012, 05:09 PM
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my husband and i se3perated, filed for divorce, got temporary custody set up, lived apart, we both even sorta saw other people but the time apart helped us realize how much we wanted to make it work and not put our kids through that. i won't pretend everything is always perfect because its not but i have learned it takes work.and a lot of growing up on my part.
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  #5  
June 29th, 2012, 03:45 PM
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In some situations I think separation might work just fine. If the two of you can agree that you need some time apart but still work on the relationship together, then it just might be a good thing. But I think that if it's going to happen it needs to happen with the help of counseling at the same time.
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