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This past week-end my husband informed me that he was un-happy in our marriage and has been trying to decide if he still wanted to be with me. We have been married for 5 years in December and together as a couple for 11 years next week. We have 3 children: 8 years, 5 years, and 1 year old.
I'm blown away! I had no idea he was so unhappy and yet I sensed that something else was pulling him away other then just his unhappiness. From the get go he sounded as if he wanted a deparation/divorce without really talking about our problems or trying to seek counseling. Comes to find out that he has been talking to someone on-line for the past month! I got him to admit this to me in text messages rather then talking on the phone so I would have proof if I ever needed it. But I was devastated and feel cheated on even though he's swore they haven't met in person.
While he was across the yard this morning talking to his mother about our issue I became very curious and snooped on his cell phone and was "lucky" to find an all day conversation between them from the previous day. I took pictures with my cell phone of the more detailing parts more so I could go back and look at them and have them for reference. Reading this conversation is like reading a text between 2 teenagers! He's 26 and I don't know how old she is, but she looks young. YOung enough to where I'm even wondering the possibility of a high school student like senior.
I am at a lost as what to do. If it wouldn't have been for this girl I would try to get him to go to counseling and try to work on our marriage. He says he loves me still and doesn't want to see me hurt and feels horrible and that this just all kind of happened. He wasn't seeking anybody out to talk to, he was just bored at work and started chatting with people while he wasn't busy. I have trust issues anyway from my childhood...and this isn't the first time he's stepped back from our relationship uncertain if he wanted to be with me. But this time he seems sure he wants to separate and divorce.
He admits that he's f***ed up and is really messed up right now in the head and needs time to get his thoughts in order and what not. I told him that in order for him to get himself straightened out to think straight he needed to stop talking to this other girl or else his head was going to stay clouded and confused. He's a good father and the kids love him to death!
I guess what I need advice about is should I try counseling with him? His mother thinks we should and says she thinks he's just having a mid-mid-life crisis thing from having to grow up so fast. Any advice or anything is greatly appreciated! I don't any other friends who even really married so I can't get a good opinion from them I feel. Please help!!