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I married my husband because I was in love with him but it wasn't a rushed or purely emotional decision. We dated for 4 years and spent a lot of time talking about thoughts, feelings, values, desires. He is my best friend. We grew up practicing the same religion, even attended the same church. His parents are extremely religious as are most of his 8 siblings. Neither of our families have any divorces except aunts or uncles or cousins. All of this attracted me to him as we'll as his looks and personallity. With such a background I always felt we would be on the happily married side of the statistics. WRONG!
Our marriage has been average. We both got busy with work, children, etc. and didn't put enough emphasis on us as a couple. I was aware of this before his big anouncement but knowing our marriage was til death do you part, I figured we'd have plenty of time for us when life wasn't so busy. WRONG again! His desire to divorce has stunned me. He doesn't even want to try. We've been married 12 years and have 2 kids, 11 & 2- and yes they are both ours conceived in our marriage.
Here is the worst of it... He told his parents and some of his siblings about the divorce w/o me around so I don't know what he said exactly. He has said his Father and a few of the siblings are mad and trying to talk him out of it even though not a single member of his family has called to offer support or even to ask my side. This really hurts because I've been very close to his family and we all like each other. When he moved out I asked how we were going to afford rent for him and our mortgage and bills. Money has been a big strain on our marriage these last 4 years.
He said his mom is paying for his apartment. WHAT???
Why would she do that? His m and I have always been on good terms so it's not that she doesn't like me. She even told her son I was the better choice when we first started causally dating! She and her husband have been married 52 years!
So should I call and ask her why? I can't see her in person because we live on opposite sides of the country.
Wow, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can see how this would be so upsetting. I don't exactly know if you should call her or not. Here's my thought...I work at Focus on the Family and we have licensed counselors that you can talk to for free. Maybe you'd want to run this by one of them and see what they suggest would be the best way to handle this. If you think you want to call the number is 1-855-771-4357. I'm really praying your husband will reconsider. Hope you keep us updated.