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Finding the courage and actually following through is the hardest part or it was for me. I was unhappy for years as well. You should not feel awful if you are not happy and not in love you can not force yourself to love anyone espcially based on certain circumstances making you feel guilty. Have you thought about seeing a lawyer? Do you think your husband will give you any trouble of custody of the kids or anything like that? I wish you all the best and if you ever need to talk im here! Just stay strong