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I divorced for this reason. My ex (and I'm not just bashing him, just telling the truth) was the biggest cheater! He fathered 3 children wiht another woman, the first being 3 months younger than our son. I was young (19) when the cheating started and I thought I could fix him and gave him way too many chances. We had been married for 9 months when I found out about the affair and I stayed married to him for 9.5 more years! He was a cheater till the end.
I've said all that to say this ... can cheaters change? maybe, but I think the ones that do are the minority. I tried and tries to make my marriage work, but I realized that "I" couldn't do it. It had to be "we" and well, he wasn't interested.
My husband cheated on me and I tried to make it work but he didn't want to put the effort into saving our marriage and I can't do it myself so that is why we are divorcing. Plus when I lost our baby at 14 weeks he was given 3 days off by his caption and he choose to go into work so that right there told me what he thought of me and our family.
My ex husband cheated on me every chance he got. We both had jobs that required travel and would only see each other 3-4 nights a week. He had a girlfriend where he spent most of his time working away from home. I found out about her when she phoned me to tell me that he was leaving me for her. He had other plans and begged me to forgive him, changed jobs and stopped the travel to prove he was serious about making our marriage work. All he did was get another girlfriend in the same city we lived in. When I found out I left and moved cities.
He spent over a year phoning and apologizing and promising he had changed and telling me how much he loved me. I honestly thought that he would have gotten bored and stopped with the calls if he didn't really love me so stupid me went back to him. I was there for less than a week when I caught him cheating with someone else. I was with him for nine years in total and would say he probably cheated on me the entire time we were together.
I regret ever giving him another chance but if I hadn't chances are I never would have met the man I am now married to. Everything happens for a reason and I am very thankful that my ex is out of my life and I met my new husband. I'm married to someone now that I trust completely and know would never do anything to hurt me. Its a much happier way to live.
Do I think cheater's can change? Sure I do, I changed! However my soon to be ex-husband treated me like garbage. I went thru marriage counseling only to have him disinterested in going with me. For two years I tried my best to put the past behind me, bent over backwards to prove my love for him and my committment to making it work - only to have every little detail thrown back in my face. I even went as far as to tell my entire family that I had numerous affairs. Every last dirty, nasty detail came out and I was the one left holding the bag. I am not complaining about that.. b/c at the time I thought that I deserved it. Approx. six weeks ago I discovered that my husband had been carrying on an emotional affair with an ex-gf from HS and a physical affair with some woman around the area. I was devistated but in the end I knew there wasn't anything left to salvage. I left and haven't looked back. Tomorrow I move into my very own place and I have a new relationship with a wonderful man!!!
GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference ~ Amen.