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Please tell me that I'm not a bad Mama....


Forum: Breastfeeding

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  #1  
April 14th, 2008, 06:12 PM
2bluesandapink's Avatar Addicted to Gymbo!
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I've been exclusively BFing Teagie since she was born (with the exception of the bottles of BM she has at daycare). At 7 months I started her on solids...I wanted to wait awhile because I didn't want my milk production to go down and because I just wasn't ready for her not to be 100% dependent on my milk.

I work full time and I pump everyday at work. Because Teagen is 9 months old, my milk production has been going down while pumping so I recently had to start supplementing formula. She took it really well. Then one day I had a really busy day and couldn't pump at all and so the next day she had two bottles with 100% formula. She took them great.

My pump is on the fritz. It's a Medela PIS and only 2 years old. IT only works if I hold my foot onto the whitish yellow plate on the front...it's like air is escaping even though I've looked at it 100 times.

I'm completely over pumping everyday. I mean, seriously, we are talking everyday for 9 months. And I just want to give in. I take Reglan so I am not worried about my supply...and I only BF her here at home, but I just want to throw in the towel for pumping. I'm over it.

Would I be the worst mom ever to just send her with formula bottles for the duration? I mean, I am a firm breastfeeding mom. It literally moves me to tears when I watch shows where babies are crying and rooting for the breast and women just shove a bottle of formula in their mouth. I don't want to be that mom...but I just can't do it anymore.

Tell me what you think girls. Thanks.
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  #2  
April 14th, 2008, 07:09 PM
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I would never say you are a bad mom, you are a great mom! It's a decision you have to make for yourself though. I know many of us don't pump regularly like that, including myself, so I couldn't say what I would do in your situation. I can understand why you would be getting so fustrated with pumping though.
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  #3  
April 14th, 2008, 08:01 PM
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I agree, you aren't a bad mom at all, you are just doing what's right for you and your baby. You and you alone have to make that decision. I hope it becomes clearer for you. Goodluck in whatever you decide, either way she is getting her needs fulfilled and that's really what's important but mentally you have to be okay with it too.



Jess
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  #4  
April 15th, 2008, 05:59 AM
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No way your a bad mommy!! I know all about the hatred for pumping.. with Addison I already had a large freezer supply built up by now and this time I can barely make myself plug in that pump because I know I am about to do it full-time at work and it sucks big time!! I think you've done great pumping as long as you have... I gave up after 7 months last time and I'm not sure how long I'll make it this time. Teagie will be just fine and you'll be much happier Good luck in your decision.
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  #5  
April 15th, 2008, 06:55 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OK, I had this long wonderful post typed out lol - and its gone. So I'll recreate it the best I can.

Now... I wont lie. I cant say I'm supportive of a decision to forego pumping b/c its inconvenient and substitute with formula when youve basically successfully BF for 9 months & have such a short time left where you would need anything at all during the day. Babies should come off of formula in a year, so why quit now & start on something like that? Thats MY opinion. And I say this as a Bfing mom, who is very anti formula, so I'll be quite up front about that, and yet I also pump & know just how inconvenient it is. I dont have the best pumping/working conditions, and I certainly dont enjoy it. I make it work for her though. And I simply cant say that I'll ever agree that inconvenience should play a part. You could get your pump replaced or fixed, although I have the same issue with mine (it was a hand me down from my sister in law), and its been hopping along on one leg for well over a year. You could also rent one from a LC or buy a reasonably priced one. Obviously if you dont have long term plans of pumping, then a brand spanking new one is not reasonable. However, if youve only had yours as long as your daughter, the Mfgr should be willing to repair or replace it.

But - heres my thing - I just dont see the point in giving your daughter formula when youre capable of producing milk. I dont want to come off harsh, but you asked for opinions, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that there must be a part of you wanting to hear that you should keep going (or maybe youre looking for support to quit pumping but I dont think youd come here for that ). I just feel the same way about this as I do women who either choose not to breastfeed or quit breastfeeding simply b/c its inconvenient when they have the ability to breastfeed. A lot of women truly aren't fortunate to be able to breastfeed, and make it to 9 months. I am very forward about my disagreement with women who choose not to for reasons outside of medical issues.

I look at things this way: its inconvenient, its sometimes downright miserable. But so are a lot of things in parenting. My DH doesnt like confrontation, for example - it is the WORST thing you can do to him to make him have a confrontation. But as a parent, we have to do those things for the benefit of our child. There will be times well have to stand up for them to a parent or principal in school & be "that" parent. There will be times well have to stand up to friends, family, someone - for our child & it will be uncomfortable at best. This is by far not the last time youll ever have to do smoething thats inconvenient or worse for the benefit of the child. So I always try to tell myself to look at it like "training" when I get really frustrated.

I've been pumping for 18 months - I hate every bit of it lol. But I do it for a lot of reasons - the obvious one is her. Also so I dont ever ever have to give her formula. And even now, at 18 months, I just stopped pumping regularly. I have a bottleof breastmilk left in the freezer & when & if she has to have that, I will pump again so that if I am away (at night, during the day) and she decides she wants milk (she hasnt taken milk during the day in quite some time), shell have it. If I felt my supply dropping, Id also pump for that reason.

And - finally - dont assume that just b/c youre on reglan that your supply wont dwindle. I'm willing to bet money it does, reglan isnt the cure-all. It will help but as demand decreases (which is what no pumpign will do), then so will supply, regardless of reglan. Some women successfully are able to continue, but I'd say theyre probably the minority. The fact that youre taking reglan tells me that your supply is probably not so easily able to rebound without a lot of work... and its likelyt hat this will be the beginning of the end of your BFing relationship and I'd be surprised if you make it even the next 3 months to a year. I hope I'm wrong.

Again, I'm hoping im not coming off harsh, but I wanted to answer honestly. I think you should stick it out if youre asking opinions. I think convenience isnt a reason to quit pumping. Its a simple thing to do in the scope of all things. I mean - if I asked any mom if they would like to get something for free that would ensure their children would be healthier in exchange for 20 mins of their day most would say yes. Its really a small sacrifice to make IMO.

So, thats my .02.

Lala...
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  #6  
April 15th, 2008, 07:56 AM
*~LuckyCharms~*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My son Kyle is 13 months old....I pumped for a few months but I *never* got very much out of pumping. For convenience, he had about a bottle or two a week of formula. As he got older, he had maybe three to four a week. Now he is done with bottles and we are still breastfeeding. I don't see anything wrong with an occasional bottle of formula when you are breastfeeding. It's a substitute, not the main source of nutrition!

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  #7  
April 15th, 2008, 02:24 PM
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I appreciate all of your words...but I forgot to also mention that when I pump, I only get 3-5 ounces. So I have been having to mix her bottles lately with formula anyway because I don't have enough milk to fill a bottle.

I'm not going to stress over it, I've come to terms with it on my own. I never give her formula here at the house but it's not an option for daycare. Even if I do pump, I don't have enough to simply give her just BM...that's part of the reason I thought it wouldn't be as big of a deal to do 100% formula instead of 50% formula and 50% breastmilk.

Unfortunately, being a full time working mommy with a very stressful job makes this difficult for me...and I can only speak for myself. I come to the realization that I'm doing a fantastic job with my daughter and I know I'm a good mama and that's all that matters.
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  #8  
April 15th, 2008, 02:24 PM
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duplicate post
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  #9  
April 15th, 2008, 06:09 PM
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BTW, just a heads up - at 9 months, and on solids, about 3 - 5 ounces is probably all she needs If you decide to pump even if only occasionally or for relief, then offer the BM first, then supplement (its not recommended to mix).

Lala...
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  #10  
April 15th, 2008, 06:18 PM
2bluesandapink's Avatar Addicted to Gymbo!
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Quote:
BTW, just a heads up - at 9 months, and on solids, about 3 - 5 ounces is probably all she needs If you decide to pump even if only occasionally or for relief, then offer the BM first, then supplement (its not recommended to mix).

Lala...[/b]
She's at daycare from 10 AM-4:30 PM and has 2 bottles in that time, 6 ounces each and 2 jars of food. I would send smaller bottles but the girls say she sucks the bottle dry and even wants more. I can only supply one bottle as it is so I had been putting half and half so she wouldn't reject it.

I never need to pump for relief...I never get engorged.
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  #11  
April 15th, 2008, 08:09 PM
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Have you tried checking wiht your insurance company, a lot of them will supply you with a medela PIS.
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  #12  
April 16th, 2008, 12:06 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oooh, great point Crunchymama!!!

The LC's here will bill insurance - I completely forgot about that. If youre already On Rx's for it - its almost guaranteed your insurance will cover. A quick call will tell you though

Lala...
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  #13  
April 16th, 2008, 12:53 PM
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Wow! You rock momma, I havent been able to bf past 4 months with my kiddos and Im a stay at home mommy. I think you have done a fantastic job and you should do whats best for you.
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  #14  
April 16th, 2008, 04:56 PM
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9 months is a great accomplishment you should stop when you feel ready!
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  #15  
April 18th, 2008, 04:49 AM
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Guilt is just about the least productive emotion out there. It's just starting now but pretty much every decision you make in your child's life you will have someone who will either think or come straight out and tell you that you are downright wrong for doing what you are doing. In the end you have to be able to look into your own soul and do what is right for you and your child. It's not black and white either, "right" or "wrong."

IMO anyone who takes the time to do soul searching when they make a decision regarding their children is NEVER a "bad mom." Regardless of the decisions you make, there will always be people out there who would do things differently and that's fine. The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same. That's part of what I like about this board - there are varying opinions across the spectrum by lots of women who seem like great moms and it shows me, there is more than one way to be a great mom.
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  #16  
April 18th, 2008, 08:22 AM
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Don't feel bad. I have such a hassle with pumping that I send my daughter to daycare with a cup of fruit and a bottle of formula (only 4 ounces) we 100% breastfeed at home but pumping is a hassle. I hate it when they heat it up and then she won't always even take the bottle. Formula is much more convienent. My heart breaks when my golden milk is wasted.

Don't feel bad. You aren't feeding her rat poison or anything.
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  #17  
April 19th, 2008, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
Don't feel bad. You aren't feeding her rat poison or anything.[/b]
thank you for that...
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