[kellybee]

Okay, DH and I are going to be ttc #2 in the near future (our daughter is 13 and was bottle-fed). I've been lurking around the boards for awhile and I really would like to try bf when (I won't say if!!) we have our next little one. However, my problem is that I have some pretty strong aversions to doing it. Basically, my stepmother had her first baby when I was 11 and she pretty much made a game of trying to gross out as many people as possible and embarass anyone within sight when she was breastfeeding. She talked about it all the time, made gross comments, tried to get people to watch her doing it, just basically made everyone uncomfortable. She also continued to bf until her youngest was over 4. Now, I know some on the boards advocate continuing until the child decides he or she is 'done' and that's fine, I wouldn't judge you for that. However, she would make comments about how she got 'sexually stimulated' by it. It was just disgusting. Ever since then, the thought of breastfeeding has really bothered me. I had absolutely no interest in it when I had my daughter. Of course, I was much younger then and I know now that it's probably better if I do it, so I really would like to try.

My question is basically has anyone else ever felt that way and been able to get past it? Any advice you could give me? I'm really trying to be logical about it, but there's still a part of me that keeps thinking it's just so wrong. TIA

[Admin-Rachel]

Me me me! I thought I'd never breastfeed. I had my older kids when I was 16 & 19 and knew then that BFing wasn't for me. I wanted to give it a shot with this baby and found that I love it. I say, give it a shot.

[~Trina~]

Me

I had NO interest or desire to b/f my first two either ....I tried with my 3rd and it didn't work out ....I lasted a week or two

Now I tried again with my 4th and he's been breastfed for 8 weeks now!

[Banned-Brenda2005]

I was totally grossed out by the thought of bf and when i saw someone nursing their baby i just thought it was weird. I didn't bf my first two because i plain old didn't want to..with my 3rd i gave it a shot (honestly it was because i wanted to lose weight..lol) and ended up never giving formula. Now i have Elias and he's also bf..you can get over this, just give it a shot and don't think of the past

[fynche]

I never cease to be amazed at the amount of damage an adult can inflict upon a child. I'm so angry for you. Here you are years later still effected by this woman's grossly innapropriate behavior that I'm sure she never gives a thought about. Especially at that age, when it's so important to have good role models about sex and relationships.

If you want to breast feed I think you should definetely give it a try. It has so much to offer the baby. I breast fed my first daughter, who's 14 now. Now that I have a newborn, it's a little weird for her(my oldest) when I breastfeed, but I just try and be conscious of her feelings and don't go "whipping out" by boobs. And we talk about why it's so good for the baby. There are other things now that I do that I didn't do with her(a lot more attachment stuff) and we talk about how much I've learned over the years being a parent.

Try it. Find out all you can about breastfeeding. It can be stimulating, which might freak you out, although to my mind it's not at all like the stimulation that comes when your having sex, but it is stimulation. Your body releases the hormone oxytocin when you BF and it makes you feel good so you're relaxed and have letdown(when your milk comes in). If it doesn't work out, you can switch to formula but I would give it a good try first. It's such a beautiful experience between a mother and child. Good luck!

[kellybee]

I never cease to be amazed at the amount of damage an adult can inflict upon a child. I'm so angry for you. Here you are years later still effected by this woman's grossly innapropriate behavior that I'm sure she never gives a thought about. Especially at that age, when it's so important to have good role models about sex and relationships.

If you want to breast feed I think you should definetely give it a try. It has so much to offer the baby. I breast fed my first daughter, who's 14 now. Now that I have a newborn, it's a little weird for her(my oldest) when I breastfeed, but I just try and be conscious of her feelings and don't go "whipping out" by boobs. And we talk about why it's so good for the baby. There are other things now that I do that I didn't do with her(a lot more attachment stuff) and we talk about how much I've learned over the years being a parent.

Try it. Find out all you can about breastfeeding. It can be stimulating, which might freak you out, although to my mind it's not at all like the stimulation that comes when your having sex, but it is stimulation. Your body releases the hormone oxytocin when you BF and it makes you feel good so you're relaxed and have letdown(when your milk comes in). If it doesn't work out, you can switch to formula but I would give it a good try first. It's such a beautiful experience between a mother and child. Good luck![/b]

First, thanks to all for your responses!

Second, yes, I could go on and on about the things that my SM did, but I've tried really hard to put all that behind me. However, this is one thing that has really stuck with me. My best friend just had a baby and she's nursing and I have to admit I'm feeling a bit bad about not doing it with my daughter, but I'm still so freaked out by the thought. I'm uncomfortable around people who are doing it, even though I would never, ever say anything to them about or try to make them uncomforable. I try to tell myself that the things that my SM did were NOT normal, (like putting cream on her nipples at the dinner table while we were trying to eat!) but I just can't seem to get my brain around it. Are there books I should be reading? Websites I should be looking at? I'm thinking maybe the more I see it, read about it, talk about it, etc., the more comfotable I might get. This is something I really want to do so I'm really hoping I can get past this!!

[M!che!!e]

wow im so disgusted right now with your sm! she ruined something that could have been beautiful learning lesson for you!

i say try it out. and just because you are breastfeeding does not mean you have to have an audience! i am living with my parents for the time being due to financial issues df and i are having and i plan to breastfeed in my room most of the time, in private. i have a mini fridge in there and everything so i wont ever have to leave..well maybe to pee. i dont really want to be showing off my breasts to my dad or brother, hence my choice.

i totally understand your aversions and you are totally right, your sm was not normal with how she handled the situation! you may decide to only do it in private but it is all your choice! i hope you decide to do it and it works out.

and please please try to keep those images out of your mind! i cant see it helping with you trying to b/f at all.

good luck!

[MorgaineNTannersMom]

Ya know..bf'ing is a natural thing and I try not to think that doing it around others is "bad", but I do have some cooth about it as well...If I know ppl are uncomfy about seeing me bf..I cover up or go to another room. I'm so sorry your SM made it a bad experience for you. I don't have any advice but I hope you'll be able to give it a try and enjoy the experience. I promise you I have NEVER felt sexually aroused by feeding my children, it is a great experience though

[lauren in hi]

Sorry you had to go through all that.

Before I had my daugher, I figured "Eh, I'll try to BF and if I can't, I'll give her formula." Let me tell you, my journey has been very rocky...from latching problems, engorgement, my daughter not liking to be w/out her clothes for BF'ing (it was recommended but we don't do that any more), pressure from my MIL, etc. Even though I did have to give her formula from the beginning & almost gave up any hope of ever being able to BF, I am finally able to do it. Even though I have to supplement and pump, etc. and it is a lot more extra work, I am glad I stuck it out. It just makes me feel closer to my dd. I am already thinking about all the things I want to do differently the next time around, and hopefully then I can exclusively BF.

Good luck!