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Hi, all. Been a LONG time since I posted - I just can't seem to get on the JM forums lately anymore.
I have a bit of a dilemma, and it's stressing me out! I'm the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding in October. Alexa will be about 6 months old by then, and I still intend to be breastfeeding. I have already disappointed my friend by telling her that I can't do the get a manicure/pedicure and do lunch with her and the other bridesmaids the day before the wedding (because the day would be filled with drive an hour and a half, do the nails, eat lunch, drive 2 hours to the rehearsal, then the rehearsal dinner, then decorate the reception hall, then drive 2 hours back home - for the love of gods, I have to wash diapers at some point that day!).
I just got my bridesmaid's dress in this week. Besides the fact that it might be a little small (seems I still haven't lost all the pregnancy weight - bleh), my nursing bra is a no go with the dress. We tried to get a dress that would work with the bra, but we ordered online, so we could only guess. It's not just a little showing either - the straps show, the front top shows, the top of the back hooks show - I mean, I don't think I'd even be able to get away with a strapless bra! Oh, and I need something because I still have some leaking issues. I was looking at maybe getting LilyPadz (so expensive though for me only using them once), but I am also a tad worried because I had thrush in the first month of breastfeeding. Also, could I wear those and not wear a bra, or should I get some breastcups sewed into the dress? I am already bleeding money from many unexpected things (and getting more and more in debt because of it, and this stupid wedding of hers), and I'm afraid it's going to cost me another $200 to get the darn thing altered... Anyone have any suggestions with the dress and bra/breast pads?
Even though the wedding is like 3 months away, I am getting more and more stressed about it. I'm going to have to find the time to pump throughout the day - and being a SAHM, I'm only used to pumping once a day in the comfort of my own home. There's no way I'm going to be able to nurse Alexa in that dress - and my friend will likely monopolize my time. My hubbie will be taking care of Alexa throughout the day. The day of, it's a 2 hour drive to where the wedding is at, so it will be a 2 hour drive home, and I feel horrid about Alexa having to put up with all that time in the car the day of (and the day before for the rehearsal). I just don't know how I'm going to handle it all! I am NOT going to stop breastfeeding, I know that. But if anyone has any tips and comfort, I'd appreciate it. I am losing my mind about the whole thing, and being away from home all day and being unable to nurse her is getting me all tense.
Have any of you had to deal with standing up in a wedding while you were still breastfeeding? This is a big wedding too, to make matters worse...my expenses for the thing are costing as much as my own wedding cost total I think - heh.
Any advice/support/de-stressing suggestions are welcome. And thanks for listening to me vent.
I really want to post a long response, but I've got to go myself...
but I just wanted to say, take a deep breathe in, and try not to worry. It will all work out.
I wouldn't worry about getting a nursing bra that fits with the dress. If your little one will be with hubby, then you won't be nursing anyway.
There should be thin throw-away pads that you can get, and just change them if you need to. In 3 months, you will probably be leaking much less.
When it comes time to pump, I would just plan on taking off the dress or stripped down quite a bit - finding a private bathroom if possible and pumping there. That way you don't have to worry about the logistics of it all.
And start pumping when you have the chance, a bit after every feed, or between feeds, and that way you can slowly build up enough milk for the day.
good luck - I'm sure it will go great, though it sounds very stressful.
I think you will be fine. But you need to relax and try to destress because stress can negatively effect your supply. My advice for the breast pads would be just to buy some disposable ones, I have ones from Lansinoh and they have sticky areas on the back that you can stick to your clothes. I think that's the smartest idea.
As far as pumping the day of the wedding you might not need to. Around 6 months your milk should have regulated itself and you shouldn't be getting many if any let downs during feedings. You more than likely won't get engorged. With regards to pumping bottles for your DH to feed her, start pumping a couple days before hand, and just build up the milk supply in the fridge to bring with you. Be sure to fully cool the just pumped milk before adding it to the bottle of already refridgerated milk.
I do have some disposable pads. If I use those should I get the bra cups sewn into the dress then? Because I don't think a strapless bra will even work with it (and I would need to buy a new strapless anyway - I'm bigger than I was before I had Alexa, and I don't want to buy a strapless and then have it not work with the dress!). Or could I just use the disposable pads and then go braless? I'm a 38C I'd say about (I think ) I wanted to use the nursing bra for easier pumping...I have a hunch I'll be pumping in the car (pumping in the bathroom makes me think - ew).
I won't have any problems with having a supply. I have about 4 bags in the freezer now, which I will rotate out in the next month, and I always have at least 3 bottles in the fridge that get rotated (hubbie gives her a bottle of expressed milk each night when he gets home). When I had an oversupply I got a lot out of one pumping. One day we were out and she wouldn't breastfeed, so she got 2 bottles in a row - when I finally could pump, I pumped 10 ounces!
I never heard about chilling the freshly expressed milk before adding it to the stuff in the fridge...I have been adding as is whenever I have a partial bottle (within 24 hours). Alexa hasn't seemed to object to it, and I've been doing that for over 2 months. Hm.
I know I shouldn't stress. Don't think my supply has been effected - never had supply problems yet, but I tend to be a high stress individual anyway - lol (it's usually over money). Just, my friend is a bit of a bridezilla, and she has a breakdown over the wedding at least every other week, if not every week. Shhh, don't tell her I said anything.
Breathe mama, breathe! It might seem stressful right now but I'm sure things will be just fine. Like the pp's said, at 6 months your supply will be really well established and you probably won't need to worry about nursing pads. I too thought I would be using them FOREVER, but at about 4 months I stopped leaking and I never leak anymore (and Myah is still nursing every 3-4 hours).
Hang in there, don't stress too much! ((((((HUGS))))))
I was in a wedding when DS was 7 months old. I was away from him all day, 8am-10pm. My dress was strapless, and I wore a strapless bra with it. I had to take my pump with me, and I just pumped every 3-4 hours like I would if I was with him. When it came time for the actual wedding, I went about 5 hours because it just was not possible, and everything was fine. I just went into the brideroom that everyone had their stuff in, unzipped my dress to my waist, and pumped, lol. I made DH stand guard at the door because it was a sight, but it worked. It only takes me about 10 minutes to pump, so it was no big deal, just a little annoying.
Don't stress, i'm sure it will all work out. I would say especially don't worry about the nursing bra under the dress, just wear what you need to wear, and take it off when you need to, kwim? Good luck! I'm sure it will all be fine!
Honestly, I would just try not to stress about it too much. If you can find any bra that works with the dress, I wouldn't worry about it being a nursing bra. I actually wear normal bras all the time. I hate the way nursing bras look and I just fold the cups back instead of fiddling with hooks and such. One day when I was wearing an outfit that was not bra-friendly, I got a bit creative. I took my old breast shells, put some disposable nursing pads inside the shells, and then put the shells on. They stayed on without a bra. It didn't give me much support (I'm a 32 D), but it at least gave me a little bit of shape. I don't know what the neckline of your dress is like but it shouldn't be a problem. I don't let breastfeeding limit my wardrobe. I wear whatever I feel like and breastfeed anyways. You should be fine! Have fun at the wedding!
(PS. You said the dress was a little tight-maybe get one of those body shapers to help it fit better? There are a lot of great ones out there. Good luck!)
lol. Being in weddings and breastfeeding is very stressful. I was in my BIL's wedding in May when my daughter was two months old (plus DH is deployed so the baby was in my care 99% of the time at the reception). I thought it would be no problem, I had milk and bottles. She decided then that she wanted to have nothing to do with the bottle! But, I adapted. Everyone knew my situation. I fed her just before the ceremony, and again afterwards (when I found out she didn't like bottles) and I found an area in the hall where I felt comfortable and just made sure that the bride and groom didn't need anything. I am sure your day will go easier but just remember that no matter what you will adapt and get through the day. And as for your bra, use a regular one and pads if you need to. That is what I did. Good luck!
Not a lot of advice, but plenty of sympathy! I too was a bridesmaid when my middle DD was 2 months old. We drove 800 miles to the wedding with a colicky infant and a 2-year-old!! I had the most hideous dress and fortunately a strapless bra and pads did work for me. However, feeding baby was a different matter - I had to take the dress halfway off to feed. I wound up in the bathroom during the reception and what a nightmare that was. My only suggestion would be to find a matching jacket or shawl and wear whatever bra you want. Nobody would die if one of the bridesmaids wore a shawl (I know, I know, brides get crazy about this stuff). Personally I can't go braless - I won't share how far down the alphabet I am so this would be my solution. Good luck! Take deep breaths!
Thanks so much MommaDucks for my gorgeous siggy!
Heidi, married to Mark, mommy to Alexei, 10; Ibis, 8; 30-weeker Coral, 4; & Hobie, 1
oh man, im going away for my brothers wedding. Im just dreading having to feed the lil one there. My dress has buttons and straps all over LOL and just dreading having to undo them and feed the wee one halfway thru out the wedding. ive tried so much for him to take the bottle but he refuses. Fingers crossed all goes well. Any advice would be appreciated. Lil one is 3months old today and am going away next week!