Log In Sign Up

"if you stop BFing,everything will be fine"


Forum: Breastfeeding

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Breastfeeding LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 9th, 2008, 07:05 AM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mallorca (Spain)
Posts: 8,652
I am sick of hearing this!!
Fisrtly,a while ago,Noelia went through a phase where she kept being sick (right now,I think it was due to the heatwave we had)..she was throwing up and had terrible terrible gas,so I had my doubts on weather to carry on BFing because I was worried that my milk was causing all her tummy problems.
At the same time,I had mastitis,so everything seemed to be going wrong and I asumed it was a sign.I even started giving her a night bottle because I was thinking of slowly weaning her.
Anyway,after a while,she seemed alot better,so I decided to stop her night time bottle and go back to exclusive BFing.It was great to be back!! lol.
But at her last check up,her pedi told me to start her on fruits and to rest with the breast feeding...I tried it once (and only a few spoons full) but I didnt like how she reacted to it.She got gas again and her tummy kept rumbling,so I told DH that I was going to put solids off until I felt more comfortable with it.
Since then,I have also tried her on a few spoons full of cereal (also recomended),and although she was fine with it (no gas or tummy aches) I hate feeding her off of the breast.I just feel like she should still be feeding from me...shes still a baby!
Well,this is where my problem is..everyone (my MIL,husband,SIL etc) says Im BFing her for selfish reasons and that I should stop BFing and start her on "real" food.They keep pointing out that at this stage,my boob isnt enough for her and that I should also be giving her bottles of water.
Dont get me wrong,I DO give her an ounce of water or very watered down apple juice a day just to make sure shes hidrated,but they are acting like Im starving her and denying her water!!

I still BF on demand and we have a nice little rutine where I put her in bed with me at 7am and I let her BF for as long as she needs..usually I wake up at 10am and shes STILL attached to me
I love BFing for so many reasons..Im not being selfish to want to be my daughter exlusive food source am I? My MIL keeps telling me that I dont even know how to BF so I may as well stop (she says that I should give Noelia 10 minutes on each boob and then make her wait 4 hours.I feed on demand,I let her nurse for as long as she wants,and I dont look at the clock-see where we are different?).

She doesnt NEED solids yet does she? I was surprised to hear her pedi tell me to start so soon
Im sick of people making me feel selfish for BFing!
__________________


Thank you SO much for my new siggy Julia (Julka)!




Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 9th, 2008, 07:27 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,003
Get a new pedi. Yours has the complete OPPOSITE understanding of proper nutrition for a baby. STOP breastfeeding at 4 months? Is he insane? If the baby were formula fed would he say to stop formula too? Switch to water/juice (neither of which has any nutritional benefit) so young?

Breastmilk is the PERFECT food for your baby for the first 6 months exclusively and should be the majority of your baby's intake for the first YEAR. By the end of that first year you should have transitioned to mostly solid foods but breastfeeding is still beneficial for the antibodies and the bonding. Wanting to bond with your child is NOT selfish! And I thought Europe was supposed to be more progressive about these kinds of things!

I'd get her back on the boob exclusively for another 2 months, stop giving her water (breastmilk has the perfect amount of water in it) and then try solids again in a month or two. If they upset her tummy it's clear her system is not ready yet. She is NOT starving, in fact if you wean her from breastmilk or formula onto only solid foods at 4 months she WILL be starving! That's not what her body needs nutritionally. Solids are for practice at this point so that your baby gets an idea of tastes and textures and used to eating solid food so that by a year (8 months away) they will enjoy it.

Go to this website for a great discussion on introduction of solids and the role they play in baby's growth and development:

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 9th, 2008, 08:03 AM
Moldovandish's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 4,602
We started solids at 6 months and even then my baby's tummy wasn't quite ready and it took a while for her to tolerate fruits and veggies well. We had to skip cereal because that had an even worse effect and caused constipation.
No water or juice are needed for the first 6 months either.

My friends and family were also recommending against breastfeeding, because we've had many many issues for a long time and they kept telling me that it will be easier for all of us if I stopped, but I was able to stick with it through those first few hard months.
__________________




Baby Caleb - born on Sept. 15, 11.31 pm, 8 lb. 15 oz.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 9th, 2008, 08:14 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
Pedis don't get much, if any, training on breastfeeding in medical school. They do get "classes" on formula "taught" by sales reps that pay the schools to be there. They also get lots of visits by sales reps at their office. While I am sure there are some pedis out there that are well educated in nursing, it's typically because they sought out that info themselves.

I also suggest getting a new doc. And remember, YOU are the mommy. You are with your daughter all day long, and you know best. 4 months is much too early for solids and you could be setting her up for allergies. My daughter still doesn't want solids at 8 months old. They don't *need* them until a year or so, and introducing food early is only for social interaction, not nutrition. The reasons they started giving them early was to keep them fuller and asleep longer. Most things your doc says are to be thought of as recommendations, and not as what you MUST do. You hire that doctor to supervise your care of your daughter, not to dictate it.

Also, your milk is more than enough to hydrate her. Juice is sugar and she doesn't need it. Bottles of water will just fill her up and deprive her of the nutrition she would get from nursing.

Can you tell your family to butt out and stop pushing their misinformation and personal feelings on your care of your child? I suggest getting a book on BFing, educate yourself on facts, and stand your ground. Next time they say something dumb, you can come back with the facts and ask them to stop butting in.

Follow your instincts and block the rest of them out!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 9th, 2008, 12:28 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 17,713
I know that the views on feeding are way different over there, but that's insane! There was a UK mommy in one of my PR who was told to start giving cows milk at 6 months! Elliot is almost 6 months old and gets a little fruits or veggies each day, but still is breastfed on demand and gets no juice or cereal. He only gets water when I have a glass of it and he grabs for it and begins drinking it, I never give him his own cup of it. Your doing the right thing with continuing to breastfed, so just ignore all of them. If anything, print out info on breastfeeding and give it to your dh... I know it won't do you any good, but give it to your MIL anyway (I remember how hardheaded she was while you were ttc ) Keep up the good work momma!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 9th, 2008, 01:29 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 19,074
I would get a new pedi as well. My pedi told us that she thinks EBF for the first 6 months or longer is fine, she said to start solids whenever Lily shows interest, but too wait until she's at least 6 months. I'm glad that she said that too because DH has never been around babies and thought that Lily should be getting water (she's 5 weeks old) or something! Good thing he listened to both me and the doctor!

__________________

Reply With Quote
  #7  
September 9th, 2008, 03:50 PM
Mommy3girls1boy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 516
My pedi says you "can" introduce solids at 4 months. Only one of my other four had solids before 7 months. He told me that waiting until 9 months was okay - just to start giving them the practice at chewing and eating by 9 months. He also told me that their main source of nourishment should be breastmilk or formula until one year. By the way a baby who is exclusively breastfed doesn't need water or juice.
__________________
Julie

Mommy to Lynnlee 7, Alyssa 6, Abigail 4, and Evan 2
Gabriel Keith born July 28 at 12:16PM weighing 7lbs. 9oz. and 20 1/2 inches long
Reply With Quote
  #8  
September 9th, 2008, 04:13 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mallorca (Spain)
Posts: 8,652
Im glad Im not the only one who thinks its ok for me to carry on.Im so tired of everyone making me feel so selfish.Noelia has had gas issues since she was born,and now everyone keeps telling me its always been my fault and that I should stop BFing so she´ll "get better".
My pedi didnt tell me to stop BFing,he just kept mentioning cereals and fruits and saying that this way I could "rest" from it.I told him that I didnt feel the need to rest from any feedings because BFing doesnt bother me one bit..its the only time of day when I can sit down comfortably/peacefully and cuddle with Noelia.If anything,I am dreading the day when I wont be able to do this anymore!
Of course,now DH wants me to stop because back when I tried to convince him to LET me BF,I told him that one of the benefits,was that it helps lose weight,and now he thinks thats the ONLY reason Im still doing it.So now that he thinks Iv lost enough weight,he wants me to stop
My MIL keeps going on about how Im dehidrating Noelia by giving her just my milk and as much as Iv told her that BM is mostly water,she just wont listen

Im obviously not getting through to these people,but I know that I am not ready to give up yet because Im loving this precious time.Im going to look up some info and show it to my MIL/SIL/DH etc.
__________________


Thank you SO much for my new siggy Julia (Julka)!




Reply With Quote
  #9  
September 9th, 2008, 04:37 PM
Mommy3girls1boy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 516
Quote:
Im glad Im not the only one who thinks its ok for me to carry on.Im so tired of everyone making me feel so selfish.Noelia has had gas issues since she was born,and now everyone keeps telling me its always been my fault and that I should stop BFing so she´ll "get better".
My pedi didnt tell me to stop BFing,he just kept mentioning cereals and fruits and saying that this way I could "rest" from it.I told him that I didnt feel the need to rest from any feedings because BFing doesnt bother me one bit..its the only time of day when I can sit down comfortably/peacefully and cuddle with Noelia.If anything,I am dreading the day when I wont be able to do this anymore!
Of course,now DH wants me to stop because back when I tried to convince him to LET me BF,I told him that one of the benefits,was that it helps lose weight,and now he thinks thats the ONLY reason Im still doing it.So now that he thinks Iv lost enough weight,he wants me to stop
My MIL keeps going on about how Im dehidrating Noelia by giving her just my milk and as much as Iv told her that BM is mostly water,she just wont listen

Im obviously not getting through to these people,but I know that I am not ready to give up yet because Im loving this precious time.Im going to look up some info and show it to my MIL/SIL/DH etc.[/b]
You don't let anyone stop you! Breastfeeding is what our bodies were designed to do. Just keep doing it and don't let them stop you! I have breastfed all my children and none of them were dehydrated without water. In fact, most of them never had anything from a bottle at all until they started drinking juice from a sippy cup. Breastfeeding is hard but had been one of the most rewarding things I have done. I bonded with my babies and gave them the nutrition perfectly designed for them. There are so many benefits to it. It helps decrease cancer in mom and promotes immunity in the baby. That's just some. I don''t know if any one has shared this site but www.kellymom.com is a great resource.
__________________
Julie

Mommy to Lynnlee 7, Alyssa 6, Abigail 4, and Evan 2
Gabriel Keith born July 28 at 12:16PM weighing 7lbs. 9oz. and 20 1/2 inches long
Reply With Quote
  #10  
September 9th, 2008, 05:24 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 816
ugh, what a frustrating situation you are in. can you appeal to your husband's pocket book? BF is free - do the math on how much you'll save.

There are so many health advantages for you little one - maybe give him some stats? The World Health Organization suggests BF for 2 years - you've got lots of time for the cuddles. It sounds like you are doing a great job - and when people doubt you, just come back here for that reassurance that you are doing the right thing for you and your little one.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #11  
September 9th, 2008, 06:37 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,889
ITA with the other ladies!! New dr, its YOUR baby, bf is best!! *Sigh*

My baby is 7 months old and will only eat maybe a tablespoon or so of peas a day, or a tbsp of rice cereal with bm. Most of the time she doesnt eat it all, and always wants the boob again afterwards. And she doesnt get solids everyday. Im not pushing it.

If it were me, I would keep some bm in the fridge in a clear container and let it settle and shove it in MIL's face. See that white stuff?? FAT. The clear stuff. W.A.T.E.R. But I get really huffy when someone tells me how to feed/raise my kid, so I would be totally ######y about it

ETA couldnt find website
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #12  
September 9th, 2008, 06:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Peach State
Posts: 1,608
Hey Gina! Missed you around here. I would totally ignore the crap and grief you are being given and just do what feels natural. You are Sooooooooo NOT selfish. If she isnt ready for solids then she shouldnt get solids. Not to mention that she doesnt NEED them anyway. I would just do a bunch of research and just maybe say look on Kellymom.com everytime they said anything.

BTW Noelia is BEAUTIFUL. She has grown so much, how can anyone think she is malnourished or dehydrated?
__________________



(1)
Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 9th, 2008, 07:06 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
Guest
Posts: n/a
Everyone has said it wonderfully ~ You're doing a fantastic job GINA!!! Keep it up!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 10th, 2008, 12:56 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,363
I just wanted to jump in and say, you are doing great! It has to be fustrating to have everyone around you against breastfeeding. I'm sorry you are going through that Your gut is right though, she doesn't need solids yet, and it doesn't sound like her system is ready for them. I would even cut out the juice and water. You are her mother and remember, mother knows best. Don't let anyone bully you into doing things that don't feel right or that you don't want to. I think many of us have battled a doctor, husband, MIL or other family member or friend with breastfeeding, and it's helped up learn that we need to have a thick skin. It won't be the last time you run into doubters or criticism of your parenting style and it's best to just remind yourself that you are doing great and to ignore them.
__________________
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (5) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 - It's a BOY!



Reply With Quote
  #15  
September 10th, 2008, 09:02 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
I just found this too- handling criticism about breastfeeding. That might help with your MIL.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #16  
September 12th, 2008, 07:35 PM
2bluesandapink's Avatar Addicted to Gymbo!
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,115
Send a message via AIM to 2bluesandapink
OMGosh, I didn't start Teagen on solids until almost 8 months! She had nothing but breastmilk up until that point, not water, juice, babyfood, or cereal. All a baby needs nutionally up until a year is breastmilk....food is just a filler.

No worries, I would keep nursing her all the time and cut out the water and juice, but that's just me.

Oh and don't even get me started about your physician
__________________

Want to earn some extra funds for yourself? Try joining Swagbucks. I was totally skeptical about "free money" but I finally joined and I'm glad I did!! PM me for me info or click here to join! No strings attached!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
September 12th, 2008, 10:45 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,889
The doctor thing does bug me too. When I first took my baby to the dr when she was 5 days old, I got a speech about how I should breastfeed cause its the best for the baby, before he even asked me how she's fed. Two month and 4mth appt same thing. 6 month, he asked what formula I was using, and I said Im still bfing. He said, "good for you!!" He was glad that Im still doing it. Not that his opinion matters, but Im glad I have a supportive dr.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #18  
September 15th, 2008, 10:05 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Gina - it really sucks that so many people are negative around you. All I can suggest is to do what I eventually resorted to - tell them all to shut up - literally. I had to tell almost everyone eventually that I had done a TON of research & was ONLY doing what was medically recommended by EVERY major health organization in the WORLD....and I didn't want to hear ONE SINGLE WORD ABOUT ANY OF IT ANYMORE....overall it worked - at least until recently - and even now they don't offer input so much as asking me when I am weaning him. Just to be a terd I have started saying kindergarten, unless I decide to homeschool.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:04 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0