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  #1  
March 20th, 2005, 09:03 PM
starryeyed1804's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am nowhere near breastfeeding yet....as I am only 9 weeks preggo, but already running into some problems.

CRITICISM!

How do you deal with criticism? Not from complete strangers, but from people you know, love, and trust??

I announced to most that I was going to breastfeed, and all I have heard was how I am gonna just make my baby fat, and I am gonna have a sissy son, and how I should only do it sometimes (in privacy)...blah blah blah, etc etc etc. I think you get the point.
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  #2  
March 20th, 2005, 11:54 PM
Bee Bee is offline
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Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I have had to deal with very little criticism. I come from a family and culture where breastfeeding is the norm. All of me and my sisters (7 of us) were breastfed, me only for 9 months. And the two youngest were for 3 and 3.75 years.
I have heard comments from one of my sisters about my DD "you still drink doodoo" (breast). I tell her that DD is still really young and it's good for her to still breastfeed.
From my DH family I haven't heard much criticism. One of his cousins was surprised that I was still bfing (we were watching a hockey game), probably because she hadn't seen me bf in public in a while.
I usually just tell people the benefits of bfing, and that the benefits don't stop once the baby is 3, 6, or 12 months.
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  #3  
March 21st, 2005, 12:15 AM
threeboyznme70's Avatar Veteran
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you can handle it 2 ways.

go to kellymom.com and print off as much information as you need (find the articles about bf'ing reducing adult obesity) http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/pre...-benefits.html here's a good place to start. Kelly has TONS of information on her website. She's an INCREDIBLE person to ask questions.

OR ...

you can tell them that this isn't something up for discussion. If they continue to be critical, you can choose not to see them. Seriously. It's all in how you want to handle it. I have a mother that didn't think I could make it 6 months. Liam will be 2 in 2 weeks <sigh> and still nursing strong. She makes the occassional comment, but the last time we really had a discussion, Liam was 11 months old. I called and was talking to her and my dad asked her if I was still nursing. Ijust laughed (what else can you do.. DUH, it's a no brainer daddy, he's not even 1 - my grandmother nursed him until he was 1 77 years ago). He asked me when I was going to quit (through my mother) and I said "If Liam's still nursing when he's 3, that's between ONLY me and Liam. Even his daddy doesn't have a say in this. My boobs, my body, my business" She said, "it's really none of my business" I almost fell over. Everything that happens in our family is her business. IMHO, she's the mom, but that doesn't mean she has a say in how we parent our children. She's free to disagree, but she's NOT free to make us feel bad about our choices. Her latest comment (about 3 months ago) "so it'll be ok if he's still nursing when he's 6?" I ROFLMAO ... "mother, he's not going to be nursing when he's 6. Rest assured, I will be done long before then"

101 Reasons to breastfeed your baby: http://www.promom.org/101/

You'll find once the baby arrives, that there will be so many more things that EVERYONE will have an opinion on. "he's nursing too often .... feed him cereal" even though research notes that solids before 6 months of age is NOT a good choice.

A big obstacle is the fact that the first 12 weeks (through that 3 month growth spurt), babies can nurse up to every hour. Yes, some days it can be daunting, but in the grand scheme of life, this is such a short period of time doing something that will benefit the baby FOR LIFE.

Please utilize kelly's website and ask TONS of questions from us. That's what we're here for.

If you can find a La Leche league near you, start going to meetings. Learn as much as you can. Find a copy of "so that's what they're for" and "the womanly art of breastfeeding" Stay far far away from .... ezzo (babywise), the baby whisperer, the "what to expect" series. I'm sure there is good information all of the books, but the breastfeeding advice in these books is HORRID. When you are looking for a doctor, make sure you ask if they've had any extra education in breastfeeding. If not, consider looking until you find one that has. They get no more than an hour seminar in medical school. MOST MOST MOST doctor's don't know anything about breastfeeding. NOTHING..... Try to get a copy of Thomas Hale's MOTHERS MILK & MEDICATION. You'll be surprised how many doctor's will tell you that a drug is contraindicated because the PDR says so. They don't care enough to look for the data that Dr. Hale has compiled. He's the foremost authority on lactation & medication.

Congrats on your decision to do the best thing for your baby! It's not always easy, but it is best!!!!

Tracy
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  #4  
March 21st, 2005, 12:18 AM
threeboyznme70's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bee@Mar 21 2005, 01:54 AM
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I have had to deal with very little criticism. I come from a family and culture where breastfeeding is the norm. All of me and my sisters (7 of us) were breastfed, me only for 9 months. And the two youngest were for 3 and 3.75 years.
I have heard comments from one of my sisters about my DD "you still drink doodoo" (breast). I tell her that DD is still really young and it's good for her to still breastfeed.
From my DH family I haven't heard much criticism. One of his cousins was surprised that I was still bfing (we were watching a hockey game), probably because she hadn't seen me bf in public in a while.
I usually just tell people the benefits of bfing, and that the benefits don't stop once the baby is 3, 6, or 12 months.
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[/quote]


LOL, didn't you knwo that it turns to kool aid after 6 months and that there's no way that it can sustain a child until s/he's a year old? After a year, it must turn into sugar water! ROFL ...... If I wasn' tstill nursing Liam, I'd be really freaked out by how little he eats!
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  #5  
March 21st, 2005, 06:23 AM
meandmy5girls's Avatar Super Mommy
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Hi there,

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and your choice to breastfeed! For the most part, I have had support from my family and DH's family, but there have been comments made at times regarding how long, etc. I breastfeed. Therefore, over time, I have established the following rule:

MY baby, MY rules; if you don't like it, tough!

Regarding bfing in public, you have to go by your personal comfort level, not theirs. You will always get unsolicited advice no matter what you do; it's a pain in the rear, and I wish we didn't have to put up with it, but unfortunately people have decided that it is their "right" to express their opinions. Hang in there!
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  #6  
March 23rd, 2005, 08:37 AM
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Just remember you have breasts and make milk for a reason. If it was going to screw up your child, why would nature have made us this way??? Nature hardly ever gets it wrong!
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  #8  
March 23rd, 2005, 01:06 PM
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i just have to laugh and agree with everyone here. no one in my fam have breast fed their babes past 3 months bc after that, they are "too mature."

whatever.

it really is your busness. thats it. do whatever you think is best and whatever works best for your baby (who's already eating your goods anyways.. so whats the difference: a body part? your boobs are not sex toys alone).

i hope you find more encouragement and keep standing up for what you think is right for your little one.
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  #9  
March 23rd, 2005, 07:00 PM
_Brandy_'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can only say that the other ladies gave some really good advice.

Also, check out your local La Leche League (LLL) and attend a few meetings, borrow some books, etc.

The funny thing is, most often, a fat baby is a formula fed baby. The baby charts at the Drs offices are redone now, there are those for formula fed babies and those for breastfed babies. Formula generally makes babies chubbier, not always, but more often.
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  #10  
March 23rd, 2005, 07:17 PM
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There is lots of great advice here!!! I was going to recommend La Leche League (but someone beat me to it ) I would also recommend get a copy of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (which has been previously recommended). I reference frequently. Get the support that you will need to help you to be successful. Also, check with your hospital/birthing center about their lactation consultants. You may be able to sit down with them in advance if you have questions. Even doulas are a wealth of breastfeeding information.

It is definitely worth putting up with all of the criticism that can be thrown at you.

Mindy
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  #11  
March 24th, 2005, 08:20 PM
mamasboys0204's Avatar Veteran
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i dont care about what anyone says. i tell them im giving my baby the best start i can and it's the most natural thing. im very proud to be breastfeeding! i try to inform then of how good it is if they want to listen if not to bad...
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