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DH wants me to stop.


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  #1  
December 11th, 2010, 10:21 PM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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DD's been acting out lately and he's not good with kids, when it comes to their tantrums, crying, sick, etc... So he doesn't know what to do. Every night I go upstairs to put Baylen to bed and DH stays down with her to put her to bed. Well when it's time for her to go to bed she Freaks out. She will stay in her room ( crib ) and scream and cry " MOMMY"!!!!! I can't hear her cause Im in our bedroom putting DS to sleep. I feel bad that she feels bad but I dont know else to do? I dont want to put him to sleep later and then have him overly tired. He wants me to switch to formula so he can feed Baylen more and for me to spend more time with DD. Well, Im a SAHM so Im with her ALL the time! For some reason she just does this when it comes to bed time. I dont want to give up nursing but he thinks for DD I should...Any suggestions???
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  #2  
December 11th, 2010, 10:34 PM
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If he wants to feed Baylen a bottle, why does it have to be formula? Could you pump? I don't see any reason to wean just for the one nighttime feeding.

I understand how he feels. I always feel sorry for DH because at night Paige wants nothing to do with him. It seems like the best thing to do - especially because you're home with Cambria and spend more time with her than DH - is for he and Cambria to continue what would be a great bonding time. Maybe you should build it up before you go to feed Braylen "Daddy's going to put you to bed..." One day I could see it being their special thing.

If he can't make that work and you don't want to quit, you could give him that one bottle of either pumped milk or formula, but I wouldn't quit nursing all together.
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  #3  
December 12th, 2010, 07:47 AM
wclark602002's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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how bout while your nursing DH and DD could watch a special nightime show or read a special book together and when your done nursing you can come in and do the final tuck-in?i wouldnt stop nursing just for that though.JMO
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  #4  
December 12th, 2010, 07:48 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Bottle of pumped milk is a good idea. Also, what about a special time once or twice a week just for your and your DD? Like a mommy and daughter date for bfast o the weekend, etc?
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  #5  
December 12th, 2010, 08:14 AM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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He's just started taking a bottle so I think this will help. I need to re build my stash cause we've wasted so much trying to get him to take one before. I keep trying to tell him It's way more of a hassle going to formula. I say YOU will get up with him in the middle of the ( which doesn't happen often cause Im SO lucky this baby loves to sleep! ) to give him the bottle. And the money were saving right now! I dont want to stop nursing, It's actually going pretty good. I know that around the 3 month mark kids start realizing that the new babys not going anywhere and they start acting out. They do have a Nighttime show they watch together and read books. I would Love to have some of our " Alone Time" But DH's still afraid to be left alone with DS. He is Very attached to me. He cry's when anyone else holds him! It's crazy! Im still not planning on stopping BFing. I know this is the first of many phases we will go through.
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  #6  
December 12th, 2010, 12:52 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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has DH tried wearing DS in a moby or carrier?
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  #7  
December 12th, 2010, 06:14 PM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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he likes when i use the sleep wrap but DH hates the wrap, dh likes to wear the bjorn but ds doesnt like it much.
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  #8  
December 13th, 2010, 10:32 AM
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Can you adjust bedtimes so they don't go down at the same time? Is there a way for you to be in her room and nurse him and then once she's calm to leave the room?

Some nights hubby is gone and there have been times when Teresa wants to nurse or isn't happy being left downstairs by herself so I end up sitting next to Lukas's bed with her.
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  #9  
December 13th, 2010, 10:00 PM
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My guess is that this a phase she is going through. Both of my DD's have done it (and my youngest is doing the same thing right now). It's VERY rough, and I hated when DD#2 was born and DD#1 would scream and cry because she wanted me to put her to bed They do adjust though or they just get through the phase. I would do what you feel is best to adjust to it for now and hopefully she will start letting your DH put her to bed more often without protesting.
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  #10  
December 14th, 2010, 08:20 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Kate is actually doing this right now at bedtime.... she's used to being nursed to sleep so if DH tries putting her to bed even with a bottle she just freaks out crying until I go get her... then I have a crying baby and a sulking DH. Fun times. I definitely wouldn't wean to try to fix the bedtime issue. It happens. If he wants to feed Baylen a bottle or two I'd pump a bit so he has some... it's a pain in the butt to pump every time Kate gets a bottle, but it can have benefits.
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  #11  
December 14th, 2010, 11:39 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Did we marry the same guy? I just told DH that he was going to have to deal with it. Whether that meant dealing with our 2 year old pitching a fit or holding a screaming baby- I couldn't do it all at the same time. I insisted that the more time he spent with Abri, the more comfortable she would be with him and wouldn't cry for him as much. I thought that a bedtime story and quick cuddle with our oldest would help her feel like she wasn't being left out.

I think once we got to the 5-6 month mark, the jealousy went away so our 2 year old stopped pitching fits at bedtime. And the baby did start to be okay with DH holding her (just as long as I wasn't in the room). This is definitely temporary so I wouldn't wean for now. If pumping a bottle will do the trick for your ds, I would do that until your dd is ready to stop the bedtime tantrums.
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