Giving up control

TheOnlyPink · #1 December 12th, 2011, 01:18 AM

I've come on here about 5 times in the past few days to ask a question, and each time, by the time i had it typed, i had answered my own question. I need to realise that i cannot control any aspect of breastfeeding. i cant time him on the breast, theres nothing i can do about cluster feeding, if he doesnt want to take the second breast then thats fine, i cant make him nurse when he doesnt want to etc.
I think i had read so much about breastfeeding while pregnant i kinda forgot that its a very much go with the flow. Harry is feeding well, plenty of wet and dirty nappies and sleeping soundly. I need to trust him and my body to do what it needs to and stop trying to control things!

So i was wondering if any of you had experienced the same kind of struggle and did it last long? I know in my heart things are well but i cant stop over analysing it!

Cruiser · #2 December 12th, 2011, 04:26 AM

I had the same struggle but over sleep. My DD was a terrible sleeper, and once I just accepted it for what it was, it seemed easier.

Re feeding on both sides, it's VERY common for babies to only feed on one side. Which is great - they fill up on one side ensuring they get the fatty hind milk! Follow your gut and when you have questions, the ladies here are fantastic.

mgm78 · #3 December 12th, 2011, 04:32 AM

DD was (is?) very little and i always questioned my supply, etc. It is only natural in our fast paced society to have a hard time relaxing and trusting in our bodies.

TheOnlyPink · #4 December 12th, 2011, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruiser

Re feeding on both sides, it's VERY common for babies to only feed on one side. Which is great - they fill up on one side ensuring they get the fatty hind milk! Follow your gut and when you have questions, the ladies here are fantastic.

Thanks so much! i kind of gave into it yesterday, that he just didnt want the second side. He nurses to sleep, so i was trying to wake him to offer the second, and it was a battle i was never gonna win! My milk is in fully today and he still had no interest in the second breast so i think i will just stop bothering until he is acting unsatisfied.

mgm78 · #5 December 12th, 2011, 06:07 AM

we only fed one side per feeding, DD was so small and i was told that was the best way to get her the fattier hind milk.

-erin- · #6 December 12th, 2011, 06:10 AM

It wasn't until closer to 4 months I felt more confident... DD seemed to ALWAYS want to nurse. It would be barely 1-2 hours between feedings... not the 3-4 I'd hear about. I never really doubted my supply since she always gained fine. And she did ok sleeping too, I never really expected her to STTN in a month or two, like some people seemed to expect. In the end, it all worked out perfectly, but if I could go back in time, I'd just tell myself to RELAX, nurse when she wanted and go with the flow

I'm hoping whenever we have a 2nd kid that it comes more "naturally". I thought nursing would come more easily since I had all the practical book learning part of it... but I quickly learned breastfeeding in theory and in practice are totally different!

JustLiz · #7 December 14th, 2011, 06:13 PM

The best day was the day that I threw away all of the baby books. DH always knew when I had been reading too much because I would be crying when he came home. We are very lucky that DS has always been very healthy so far. If the baby is healthy, then don't worry about what is "supposed" to happen!

lunarmagic · #8 December 14th, 2011, 06:43 PM

I think I learned a lot about giving up control in labor. So with breastfeeding though my tendency was to track everything and fret and try to control it, I realized that just like labor it is what it is and you just have to go with it and let baby lead the way. They're pretty good about doing that.

And ditto about only one side, my DD took only one side from pretty much the start. They used to tell people (and some hospitals still do) to make sure they feed on both sides every time. Well now that has shifted and the newest recommendations are usually to feed on just one side - it ensures they get enough hind milk and foremilk to the right balance, and it makes sure you breasts get fully drained. Obviously if the baby wants more then offer the second side, but I hear that from a lot of moms... they think they're supposed to be doing both and baby just isn't having it!