[LookingGlassAlice]

Hi, im just dropping in because im really getting tired if arguing with my boyfriends family over my choice to BF and ned some support. My one month old daughter has reflux since two weeks old and so is very fussy alot of the time. Since none of the kids in thier family were breastfed, they are postive that this is the cause of her fussiness and switching her to senstive formula will solve her postive. The sole proof they have to support this is the fact that my BFs son, age 14, nevr had stomach issues while Willow does. Ive tried explaining that she would have stomach issues regardless because all the babies in my family are refluxy or colicky but it seems to make no difference. I knew my BF wasnt big on the idea of me breastfeeding because he thought it would make it hard for them to bond,, but his mom sneaking formula ino my cabinet is too much. GRR.

Any one have any advice for sticking to your guns when you are the sole breastfeeder in generations?

[brightmommy]

So sorry to hear that! I am sure it is very rough having no support, but you are doing the best thing for your little girl by breastfeeding her. I don't have the same problem with my family looking down on breastfeeding, but nobody my age or around that (family or friends) have breastfeed their children so it is a little weird around all of them who are or have formula feed their children. They just don't seem to get it and it is tough to overcome that prejudice, but you just have to remember that you are doing what is best for YOUR daughter. They can raise their children the way they want, but they need to respect your ways. I don't know what advice to give you other than to stay strong and know that you are doing the right thing!

[angelsailor288]

I had issues with Nicks family trying to push formula on me when breastfeeding was very difficult & painful for me. I just stuck to my guns. We've been breastfeeding for 7 months now and I have no intentions of stopping any time soon.

Tell them she is your baby not theirs. Respect your decision or keep their opinions to themselves. Tell them you have donated the formula so unless they want to keep wasting money, stop buying it.

[mgm78]

oh my goodness. how rude and, just how ignorant!!!!! i would try to find a bfing support group or la leche meeting to get to so you have some IRL support. As far as the reflux, mom's diet can play a part in it for some babies, look at the big culprits-- dairy, cabbage/broccoli, soy and see if those are triggering any issues in your LO, otherwise maybe try some gripe water and see if that helps. ((((hugs)))))

[lunarmagic]

Oh man. I'm so sorry, that is just unbelievable! I would be furious if anyone tried undermining a parenting choice I made for my child, no matter what it was! That is so incredibly rude. You are totally right - some babies are refluxy no matter what they are eating, and you can't really compare one baby to another like that. Keep doing what you're doing, mama. You know best for your baby. Truly.

[-erin-]

That is so rude. Honestly, I'd say unless they are going to be positive and supporting then I need to take a break from them for a while and just avoid being around them.

[LookingGlassAlice]

I pulled his mother aside this morning and was polite as I could be, but explained this is the way my culture raises thier babies and that undermining that was a very severe insult to my ability as a mother. She tried to insist that colic was caused by breastfeeding, to which i informed her breastfeeding was recommended for the best health of my baby and if i couldnt count on her to support my choice then it simply wasnt going to work to have her help watch Willow.

I know its harsh to refuse to let a grandma watch the baby, but i wont start having them undermining my parenting now because then it might not stop!

Thanks for the support ladies!

[lunarmagic]

Good job, mama. I'm glad you were able to be upfront with her. I know grandmas love their grandchildren and want to do what's best for them, but they really really need to respect the parent.

[joonzgurl]

I'm sorry you are not getting the support you need from your family!!! I second what Meredith said- try to find a breastfeeding support group, or a la leche league meeting to go to and get some support there. How very ignorant of them that they think she has reflux just because you breastfeed????

[mgm78]

i am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your baby!

[Anna2ds]

I ended up switching my refluxy colicky baby to formula and it didnt help at all. I regretted it and still regret it because after I stopped nursing I was less able to soothe my baby. You're doing the right thing, sorry your family is acting that way. Good luck to you!

[TexasDreams]

Both of the twins have reflux and it has nothing to do with BF. My mother in law wanted me to give bottles all the time and i wanted to EBF. It was so bad that i couldnt keep pumped milk in the fridge because she would give them a bottle.

Im so sorry you have to deal with this. I cried many times dealing with my MIL.

Give BF a few more months and it will be so easy and natural that you will have no problem telling them to mind their own business.

Have you gone to the doctor about the reflux? Both of mine take zantac and it has made all the difference in the world.

[eva_luvs_dave]

New to this board but wanted to add in something. BM is actually best for reflux babies because it passes more quickly through their systems.

My lo too was super fussy and had silent reflux. We finally got him on zantac around a month old and everything got better over time. He is now 8 months old and nursing away!! He is also off of zantac.

His situation was all new to me as well because my 2nd dd had no isues whatsoever and was BF for a year.

Best of luck to you! Good for you for sticking to your guns!!

[LookingGlassAlice]

She just got switched to Zantec last week, so hopefully we'll see improvement soon, TexasDreams

[angelsailor288]

Good for you!! Hope she starts respecting your choices

[blondie-lox]

Wow, your boyfriend's mom sounds like a real peach. I'm glad you finally said something to her. What was her response? I'd go all mama bear on her butt if she bought formula again. That's unbelievable.

My 4 month old has reflux (also EBF) and was originally on Zantac, but the pedi took her off as he doesn't like antacid meds and he wasn't convinced it was helping her. She cries a lot, and spits up like crazy but it's DRASTICALLY better than it was. Each month she gets better and better, and from what I'm told reflux goes away once they can sit up unassisted. Good luck, I know how hard it is to have a reflux baby, it's not fun.

[Lorena26]

Originally Posted by LookingGlassAlice

I know its harsh to refuse to let a grandma watch the baby, but i wont start having them undermining my parenting now because then it might not stop!

Don't feel bad about that, i won't let "grandma" watch mine either and she's my own mother! I do hope things are getting better for you though

[LookingGlassAlice]

Originally Posted by Lorena26

Don't feel bad about that, i won't let "grandma" watch mine either and she's my own mother! I do hope things are getting better for you though

i think they are...it just kinda puts us at a disadvantage because we paid for her to take a first aid and cpr class so she could watch Willow part of the time but now im not sure. i founnd a day care but then they gave away my spot and gave back my holding fee 'cause one of thier current mommas decided to put her baby in with them.

[Lorena26]

Ahh that sucks. But i'm glad things seem to be getting better

[JustLiz]

Hope things get better. Good for you sticking up for BFing! My daycare wasn't very supportive of my choices either. Every time I asked them how much milk they needed for him the director would complain that it would be easier if I just let them give him formula! It's so hard not trusting what other caretakers are doing with your lo when you're not around. Hope it gets better!