Am I alone in my thinking/feeling...

RUNNER25 · #1 January 29th, 2012, 05:22 PM

So I guess I'm just wondering if other breastfeeding moms ever feel like I do. I'm the type of mom who only gives her baby a bottle if necessary- like while I'm at work. And EVERY time he gets a bottle I pump in place of that feeding. I also always nurse him to sleep. I'm pretty sure he would take a bottle (and maybe fuss/cry for a few minutes) but then fall asleep, but I figure I'll just be home to nurse him to sleep.

I have a few friends that also breast feed. They go out, have drinks, go overnight on trips (without baby). I just do not understand how they can do this while breast feeding. I would have to pump every 2-3 hours, or risk losing my supply. I would also worry like crazy about my baby not having me during the night if he woke and needed me to nurse him back to sleep. I just really don't get it.

Am I just over-stressing about ever leaving my baby? Heck, I don't even go shopping alone with my mom for a couple hours for fear I'd miss a feeding! The other night DH & I went to dinner with a group of friends and 2 of the other girls both have babies the same age as mine and they both breast feed and they were both drinking and staying out late while I had to go home by 8pm to nurse my baby to sleep. And a close friend of mine (her baby is one month younger than mine) just went on an overnight trip with friends...how??

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way and this is my parenting choice...but maybe someone could enlighten me on how other people seem to balance life and breast feeding better than I am...

brightmommy · #2 January 29th, 2012, 05:49 PM

I am exactly the same way as you! I can't stand to leave her especially when I know she is gonna have to eat. If I do leave her for a couple of hours I am in a major hurry to get back in time to feed her before she has to get a bottle. I had to go the the doctors office for a physical for work the other day and had planned it so I would be back in time for her feeding but I had to wait over an hour before they even called me back to do the exam

I was so mad, but luckily she was asleep when I got home so she hadn't eaten yet

I also don't know how people do it without being there all the time. Oh, well I guess every one just looks at it differently.

PorterXVX · #3 January 29th, 2012, 07:22 PM

I don't want to say that it means we're better moms because we worry or constantly think about our babies but it's what I'm thinking. I feel the same way you do, though. I don't drink so I don't understand women who drink and breastfeed - it seems a bit risky but I can't leave my little one for very long before I start worrying. I'm always here to breastfeed her but I could never leave her with a babysitter or at a daycare. And absolutely never be away from her overnight. My boobs would get too engorged from not breastfeeding anyway! So, I'm just at a loss as you are.

Lucia_mommy · #4 January 30th, 2012, 02:34 AM

I haven't breastfed before, but intend to do so this time. I don't think you're weird! Even while I didn't breastfeed I didn't leave the g irls overnight or for a long time

I don't think they've ever been a night without me; Anna's not at the age yet of doing sleepovers at friends, maybe in a year or two.

lunarmagic · #5 January 30th, 2012, 04:29 AM

Oh I'm definitely the same way. For the first many many months I pumped in place of every nursing session, and even then I wasn't really fond of going out and leaving her for very long - a few hours at most. I did leave her with DH a few times for specific things (like a wedding I went to), but those were really rare and I fretted the entire time! Kate is now 20 months old and I *still* feel weird if I'm away from her for more than a few hours, and I'm no longer nursing. I just want to be home with my baby!

RUNNER25 · #6 January 30th, 2012, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PorterXVX

I don't want to say that it means we're better moms because we worry or constantly think about our babies but it's what I'm thinking. I feel the same way you do, though. I don't drink so I don't understand women who drink and breastfeed - it seems a bit risky but I can't leave my little one for very long before I start worrying. I'm always here to breastfeed her but I could never leave her with a babysitter or at a daycare. And absolutely never be away from her overnight. My boobs would get too engorged from not breastfeeding anyway! So, I'm just at a loss as you are.

Yes! I feel the same way.

It feels good knowing I'm not alone! Thanks for the responses and for making me feel OK!!

Lucia_mommy · #7 January 30th, 2012, 05:06 AM

About drinking; it's probably not good, but I once heard an acquaintance say her baby sleeps better after she breastfed him after drinking some wine? Isn't it dangerous? Or is that really the only influence it has?

mgm78 · #8 January 30th, 2012, 05:20 AM

it is dangerous for the baby and not a good idea, you are supposed to pump and dump!

i am the same way. even when i went back to distance racing, i bf DD during the race and even nursed her to sleep during a race!

-erin- · #9 January 30th, 2012, 07:13 AM

I've still never spent a night away from my DD and she hasn't nursed in almost 2 months now. I've been away from her at bedtime a few times, but she still goes down easily.

As for drinking and breastfeeding, I did have the occasional drink while nursing
kellymom.com :: Breastfeeding and Alcohol
Basically, I saw it written this way somewhere, if you can drive, you can breastfeed. Also, pumping and dumping won't do anything. Unless you have very fickle supply, just wait an hour or two and when the alcohol is out of your bloodstream it is out of your milk.

lunarmagic · #10 January 30th, 2012, 07:25 AM

Yes, alcohol exits the breastmilk in the same way/time as it exists your blood stream. I would have a single drink when I went out, if I knew it was going to be 2 hours until I saw Kate again. There's no need to pump and dump because either way it's going to be out of your milk in the same time frame. I would not nurse right after I've had a drink, especially a tiny one, their bodies can't process it.

joonzgurl · #11 January 30th, 2012, 07:26 AM

I feel the same way, I just don't understand how mamas can leave their babies overnight or for extended periods of time when they are breastfeeding. My baby girl will not take a bottle, so I can't really leave her for more than a couple hours, even less really because I nurse her to sleep always, even naps. I would worry so much about her and the person watching her, how would she get to sleep? Would she get hungry? Part of me is glad she does not take a bottle (hence the reason we haven't tried all that hard) because it gives me a good reason to not be able to leave her, LOL! My mother in law, on the other hand, HATES it and I can see her foaming at the mouth waiting for a time when she can babysit the baby all day or something.

And drinking- I will have 1 or MAX 2 over the course of a couple of hours, if it is a special occasion, as I have read what the previous poster said- if you can drive, you can breastfeed. You certainly can't get drunk when breastfeeding, but I don't think there is anything wrong with one or two.

RUNNER25 · #12 January 30th, 2012, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgm78

it is dangerous for the baby and not a good idea, you are supposed to pump and dump!

i am the same way. even when i went back to distance racing, i bf DD during the race and even nursed her to sleep during a race!

that is so awesome!

Quote:

Originally Posted by joonzgurl

I feel the same way, I just don't understand how mamas can leave their babies overnight or for extended periods of time when they are breastfeeding. My baby girl will not take a bottle, so I can't really leave her for more than a couple hours, even less really because I nurse her to sleep always, even naps. I would worry so much about her and the person watching her, how would she get to sleep? Would she get hungry? Part of me is glad she does not take a bottle (hence the reason we haven't tried all that hard) because it gives me a good reason to not be able to leave her, LOL! My mother in law, on the other hand, HATES it and I can see her foaming at the mouth waiting for a time when she can babysit the baby all day or something.

And drinking- I will have 1 or MAX 2 over the course of a couple of hours, if it is a special occasion, as I have read what the previous poster said- if you can drive, you can breastfeed. You certainly can't get drunk when breastfeeding, but I don't think there is anything wrong with one or two.

I worry about the same thing, which is why I don't leave him. Heck, I've only left my older son overnight twice- once when I was in the hospital after having Miles and the other time he stayed with his grandparents. I hated leaving him! I know soon enough my boys will want to be away from me so I'm cherishing every minute I have!

HippyMomOf4 · #13 January 30th, 2012, 10:52 AM

I am the same way, I got my hair done the other day and didn't take baby....it took 3 1/2 hours to finish my hair and OMG i was like in panic mode. I text DH asking how the baby was, DH had a bottle of pumped milk with him so if he needed to eat I knew he was ok, but i feel bad when I can't feed him myself. I don't go anywhere unless its between feeding time and I won't be gone long.

JustLiz · #14 January 30th, 2012, 06:38 PM

Yeah, I was just thinking about this the other day. I went to a professional conference in the fall and took DS with me. There was a nursing room and the other moms using it were all pumping for their LOs back home. One mom had a 5-month-old and was staying away for 4 nights. I just couldn't really imagine doing that. To tell the truth, I'm a little jealous. I do kind of long for a night alone and to wake up on my own without being awoken at 5:30 by my little monkey! But, I just don't feel like he would be ok without me overnight. I know other women do it and their kids are fine, but I just don't see DH and DS going for a whole night without me. Also, my parents and in-laws are definitely not up to that. DS has pink-eye and has to stay home from daycare tomorrow and I'm VERY nervous because my Mom will have him for 7 hours while I'm gone. He's almost a year old and drinking some cow's milk now, so it's not even a breastfeeding issue, I just feel like he is exhausting for anyone to take care of, lol. Sorry that was long.

Short answer: I know how you feel.

ZoePaigesMommy · #15 January 30th, 2012, 07:38 PM

I am the same way. DH and I went out one night for dinner and to go see beauty and the beast and it was the great race to get home. Never again will I leave her for that long because she was mad I left.

miamor · #16 January 30th, 2012, 07:40 PM

no matter how tired i get, how little sleep i get, how little time i have for myself...i cant imagine doing it any other way. i just think a baby should be with its mother.
they wont be babies forever.

Jule'sMomInOR · #17 January 30th, 2012, 08:25 PM

My DD is 18 months old today and I can't imagine leaving her overnight any time soon. I didn't go out past her bedtime until 14 months, and then I went to a wedding, when I was a bridesmaid. My mom took her to the wedding and they left a couple of hours earlier than me. She woke up for the first time at midnight, right as I was walking through the door. That's the only time I've been away at bedtime and I was lucky.

TexasDreams · #18 January 30th, 2012, 08:48 PM

I spent one night away from the twins when my husband had surgery. I pumped every 2.5 hours. My mother had them and i even made her spend the night at my house a few times so i would knew she could handle it. Nadine does not like a bottle and will not eat so im always worried about her.

I wont be gone longer then one feeding normally. For some reason i do not think my babies should get bottles

eva_luvs_dave · #19 January 30th, 2012, 10:28 PM

I am the same way as well!! David doesnt take a bottle either and is back to waking up all hours of the night to nurse so I never go anywhere without him much at all. I ran to the store for 30 mins tonight and he fussed the whole ime I was gone. The pp was def right...they will only be so little for so long. I am aok with not being away from him and know I could never swing that, period!

..Penelope.. · #20 January 31st, 2012, 09:41 AM

I'm the same way. I HAD to leave L with J once to get a massage (I was so messed up that I couldn't use my left arm) and left a bottle of breastmilk, but L wouldn't drink it. The trip home was the longest of my life.

L weaned himself at 16 months but I'm not planning on being away from him overnight (or him sleeping anywhere but home) for a very long time.