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Well, I think I am done. My baby latches on fine, however, he was 10lbs at birth, and is NEVER satisfied for more than 1 1/2 to 2 hours. I have two other small children, and we are a very active family. I found myself getting extremely irritable and depressed over the past week, and feeling trapped. I can't just sit home all day and nurse. Plus, his bm are never normal. They always cause him pain, and they are really mucousy and stinky and watery. Not the normal seedy.
I have began supplementing with formula, and I was pumping, but that seemed to upset him as well. He likes the formula and is doing fine with the bottle.
My problem is that I don't want regrets. I really DID want to nurse, but it had been 4 years since my last child was born, and I forgot these feelings that I get once the nursing actually takes place! i had the SAME feelings with my first AND second.
I feel the SAME bonding when I am bottle feeding, that I do with nursing.
Is it normal to not TOTALLY be into nursing???
I know most of you on here are major advocates, but can I get a non biased reply??
When feeding time comes, I dread him latching on, and I really am not enjoying it like I thought I would. Why is that?
I feel a sense of relief when I give him a bottle.
I felt totally overwhelmed for the first while. I had a preemie and he was always hungry or always falling asleep! I never knew what he wanted. There were so many times I wanted to throw in the towel and I can understand your feelings exactly (minus the other kids)
How long did you nurse your other babies for?
It does get easier! It took a little longer for Isaiah to get the hang because of being a preemie but for most ladies it seems after the 6 weeks mark it becomes so much easier. And even easier after 3. Now I am really glad I stuck it out. He eats for 5 minutes and is on to something else to do.
I would try and stick it out just a bit longer. You can also supplement and nurse. You would have to keep up nursing though to keep up your supply but you can do both so he gets the benefits but you may not feel as overwhelmed.
Good luck! I think your feelings are completely normal. Before we have our babies we think they are just going to latch on looking lovingly into our eyes and latch off when full and sleep for 4 hours lol But that does happen. Just not yet! Its hard to see that when you have other screaming kids and you havent put a shirt on in days lol
About his poops it sounds like he could be getting to much foremilk which is the milk in the beginning of a feed. I would try only nursing at one breast for each feed so he gets the fatty milk at the back.
I hated nursing...really hated it. And I was hating the baby & my DH. If you go back to my old posts all I did was complain and fish to see if I could get support with supplementing and then going full force on formula (the hundreds of dollars worth of free formula & coupons I got tempting me didn't help.)
Then a funny thing happened - 8 weeks. Right around or just before 8 weeks I was nursing at 3am with the nipple shield (the only way he'd nurse) and on a lark (I had given up even trying weeks before) I tried one more time to get him to latch. I pinched my breast and it had a ton of breast milk on it and gave it to him and he took it - I was floored!
After that we've had ups and downs but it has been getting easier and easier. (Well not today - see my new post).
Anyway, I never thought I'd say this but if you can make it 8 weeks then you might feel different.
Also, the below breakdown of what benefits the baby gets compared to how long you stic k it out really saw me through some quitting points - like today! It also let me know hat if I just couldn't take it anymore I wasn't a bad mom - somehow knowing I could quit if I got really crazy helped me stick it out. Crazy I know.
What if I Want to Wean My Baby?
by Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC
Breastfeeding your baby for even a day is the best baby gift you can give. Breastfeeding is almost always the best choice for your baby. If it doesn't seem like the best choice for you right now, these guidelines may help.
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR JUST A FEW DAYS, he will have received your colostrum, or early milk. By providing antibodies and the food his brand-new body expects, nursing gives your baby his first - and easiest - "immunization" and helps get his digestive system going smoothly. Breastfeeding is how your baby expects to start, and helps your own body recover from the birth. Why not use your time in the hospital to prepare your baby for life through the gift of nursing?
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR FOUR TO SIX WEEKS, you will have eased him through the most critical part of his infancy. Newborns who are not breastfed are much more likely to get sick or be hospitalized, and have many more digestive problems than breastfed babies. After 4 to 6 weeks, you'll probably have worked through any early nursing concerns, too. Make a serious goal of nursing for a month, call La Leche League or a Lactation Consultant if you have any questions, and you'll be in a better position to decide whether continued breastfeeding is for you.
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 3 OR 4 MONTHS, her digestive system will have matured a great deal, and she will be much better able to tolerate the foreign substances in commercial formulas. If there is a family history of allergies, though, you will greatly reduce her risk by waiting a few more months before adding anything at all to her diet of breastmilk. And giving nothing but your milk for the first four months gives strong protection against ear infections for a whole year.
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 6 MONTHS, she will be much less likely to suffer an allergic reaction to formula or other foods. At this point, her body is probably ready to tackle some other foods, whether or not you wean. Nursing for at least 6 months helps ensure better health throughout your baby's first year of life, and reduces your own risk of breast cancer. Nursing for 6 months or more may greatly reduce your little one's risk of ear infections and childhood cancers. And exclusive, frequent breastfeeding during the first 6 months, if your periods have not returned, provides 98% effective contraception.
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 9 MONTHS, you will have seen him through the fastest and most important brain and body development of his life on the food that was designed for him - your milk. You may even notice that he is more alert and more active than babies who did not have the benefit of their mother's milk. Weaning may be fairly easy at this age... but then, so is nursing! If you want to avoid weaning this early, be sure you've been available to nurse for comfort as well as just for food.
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR A YEAR, you can avoid the expense and bother of formula. Her one-year-old body can probably handle most of the table foods your family enjoys. Many of the health benefits this year of nursing has given your child will last her whole life. She will have a stronger immune system, for instance, and will be much less likely to need orthodontia or speech therapy. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least a year, to help ensure normal nutrition and health for your baby.
IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 18 MONTHS, you will have continued to provide your baby's normal nutrition and protection against illness at a time when illness is common in other babies. Your baby is probably well started on table foods, too. He has had time to form a solid bond with you - a healthy starting point for his growing independence. And he is old enough that you and he can work together on the weaning process, at a pace that he can handle. A former U.S. Surgeon General said, "It is the lucky baby... that nurses to age two."
IF YOUR CHILD WEANS WHEN SHE IS READY, you can feel confident that you have met your baby's physical and emotional needs in a very normal, healthy way. In cultures where there is no pressure to wean, children tend to nurse for at least two years. The World Health Organization and UNICEF strongly encourage breastfeeding through toddlerhood: "Breastmilk is an important source of energy and protein, and helps to protect against disease during the child's second year of life."(1) Our biology seems geared to a weaning age of between 2 1/2 and 7 years(2), and it just makes sense to build our children's bones from the milk that was designed to build them.
Your milk provides antibodies and other protective substances as long as you continue nursing, and families of nursing toddlers often find that their medical bills are lower than their neighbors' for years to come. Mothers who have nursed longterm have a still lower risk of developing breast cancer. Children who were nursed longterm tend to be very secure, and are less likely to suck their thumbs or carry a blanket.
Nursing can help ease both of you through the tears, tantrums, and tumbles that come with early childhood, and helps ensure that any illnesses are milder and easier to deal with. It's an all-purpose mothering tool you won't want to be without! Don't worry that your child will nurse forever. All children stop eventually, no matter what you do, and there are more nursing toddlers around than you might guess.
Whether you nurse for a day or for several years, the decision to nurse your child is one you need never regret. And whenever weaning takes place, remember that it is a big step for both of you. If you choose to wean before your child is ready, be sure to do it gradually, and with love.
__________________ Baby Vlad born Monday, May 15, 2006. 8lbs, 20 3/4" WE MADE IT TWO YEARS AND & 3 MONTHS BF'ing....he's weaning now!!!
Thank you for your responses. I understand the foremilk thing. I do one breast for 15 to 20 minutes, and his poop is still like that. When I pump, it is seedy and yellow and normal. Weird.
I just can't do both, because it is confusing him. Not nipple, but just the comfort thing. Everytime I hold him and he smells me, he wants to nurse. Even if he just had a formula bottle, he wants to nurse for pacifing. I don't want that.
I cant do that! Not with my lifestyle.
If I had the time to sit down all day, and nurse I would, but I just don't!
I haven't pumped all day, and I don't know if I am going to. I keep praying about it, and I just don't know what to do.
My other two, I only bf for 2 to 3 weeks as well, and the same thing happened. They are totally fine too. Not sick, and very smart! So, I know formula feeding is ok!
Thank you for your responses. I understand the foremilk thing. I do one breast for 15 to 20 minutes, and his poop is still like that. When I pump, it is seedy and yellow and normal. Weird.
I just can't do both, because it is confusing him. Not nipple, but just the comfort thing. Everytime I hold him and he smells me, he wants to nurse. Even if he just had a formula bottle, he wants to nurse for pacifing. I don't want that.
I cant do that! Not with my lifestyle.
If I had the time to sit down all day, and nurse I would, but I just don't!
I haven't pumped all day, and I don't know if I am going to. I keep praying about it, and I just don't know what to do.
My other two, I only bf for 2 to 3 weeks as well, and the same thing happened. They are totally fine too. Not sick, and very smart! So, I know formula feeding is ok![/b]
It sounds like you have already made up your mind, maybe you should take this post to the bottle feeding board, I'm sure there are many mothers there that have similar stories.
But IMO Ithink you should give it a few more weeks, it DOES get easier, the first 8-10 weeks can be HELL they want to nurse all the time, but by 10 to 12 weeks old they nurse for 5-10 minutes and are fine for 2-4 hours. If you know he is full you can try giving him a pacifier to sooth him, it's the sucking reflex he is desiring. A mothers sent will usually make a baby want to nurse, but if you know he is full don't worry about having to nurse, I don't know any bf-ing mother that sat around nursing all day to satisfy their childs need to suck, so don't feel pressured to.
__________________
Bailey and Noah (3-14-2006)
Thanks Jaidynsmum for the siggy!
I think you are setting yourself up to make a decsion you will regret.
I don't think many moms enjoy the first few weeks of nursing. The first few weeks with 3 of my 4 kids were HELL!!! My first I gave up and regret it so much. My second I hung in there and by 6 or 8 weeks it was smooth sailing same with my fourth. My third was easier cause his sister was still nursing when he was born.
I have three other kids beside my nursling and they are little. Aidan is 2,Ashlie is four and Brandon is 9. I know how tough it can be those first few weeks but the benefits pay of especially for your child.
IMO you have to do what is best for your situation. Of course, breastfeeding is healthiest for your baby but if you are miserable is it really worth it? If you get stressed out I am sure your little one is feeling that as well. But I also hear what the others are saying. I too wanted to give up in the beginning and am so glad that I stuck it out because things certainly have gotten easier (not sure how long you breastfed your other kids for). So bottom line is you have to do what YOU feel is best and stop caring what others are thinking because this is YOUR kid - not theirs. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.
It seems you have already made your mind up but I think you are making a mistake you will regret. You cannot judge how nursing will be before the first eight weeks are over. The first six weeks were complete hell when I was trying to get my daughter to nurse. She would nurse 23 hours of the day (no joke) but then one day she just got it. It will work but you have to give it the chance. I have to say I do have a very hectic lifestyle as well, always on the run and that is why I am so glad I am breastfeeding. Nothing to lug around, nothing to mix, I dont have to make sure anything is clean..its easy as pie. The first few weeks are complete hell but I would do it all over again to get what I have now. Goodluck with your decision.
__________________
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I do agree with the previous posters about sounding like you have already made your decision. I know that I am very luck to have absoultely wonderful and easy nursing experiences with both my daughters. I do know from other people that the beginning can be very very tough. I would be concerned that you would regret it if you give it up this soon. The only suggestion I can offer you about your active lifestyle is to maybe invest in a sling. You can actually breastfeed while walking around a store or anywhere if you use certain slings. I have no doubt it will get better if you stick it out. And as far as his poop, I would ask your pediatrician. HTH
The only suggestion I can offer you about your active lifestyle is to maybe invest in a sling. You can actually breastfeed while walking around a store or anywhere if you use certain slings.[/b]
Definetly worth a shot! I know lots of women on here could not live without their slings! My SIL has a very active 2 year old and a 2 month old who lives in her sling!
The only suggestion I can offer you about your active lifestyle is to maybe invest in a sling. You can actually breastfeed while walking around a store or anywhere if you use certain slings.[/b]
Definetly worth a shot! I know lots of women on here could not live without their slings! My SIL has a very active 2 year old and a 2 month old who lives in her sling!
[/b]
Location: NYC born and raised. Now stationed in Savannah, Ga HAAF!
Posts: 12,264
stick it out is the only advice i can give you because it does get SO MUCH BETTER! it really does. just give it to six weeks and see how you feel then.
btw i have an active lifestyle i have flown 3 times in the past three months, have been out to eat, shopping you name it and breastfeeding my daughter is a godesend because its so much easier then worrying about packing bottles and formula. i kno i always have it on tap.
well ultimately you want happy mom, happy mom makes happy baby. I completely understand what you are going through. We are still working on bf'ing here but I am so frustrated, I have to nurse her, then feed her then pump. It takes me about 1 to 1 1/2 hours to complete the cycle then she needs to do it all over again. I am not happy. I am not enjoying baby. But I'm going to do it a little bit longer.
If you are not into nursing and dread feedings and don't think you will get over it, do what you feel comfortable with. I'm sure that is not popular advice on this board, but I am not a someone who thinks formula is evil. I FF my first after 6 months of pumping and FF my 2nd after 2 weeks of nursing. They both are very smart (too smart for their own good ) and healthy. My son does get sicker easier than my daughter so that could be from FF but nothing serious and he has never had an ear infection, ever.
So I guess I'm saying if your heart isn't in it, then you may start to resent your baby, so do what you feel is right for you and your baby. I remember you saying you were planning on having 1 more. Maybe that one will be different - if you want to bf again.
Oh and it definately sounds like he isn't not getting to the hind milk on the breast. but i also understand not wanting and not being able to nurse all day. my daughter told me she misses me holding her and wants me to put the baby down so I can hold her too.
I think that if you're not happy doing it you shouldn't. If you're upset the whole time he's nursing it's not a positive experience for either of you. If he's happy and thriving on the bottle then I say go for it. I had such an easy time nursing dd so for me it was a no brainer, but given your situation and your feelings I would do what makes you feel right.
I can't believe the advice this mom is getting here. This is supposed to be the breastfeeding board if you don't have any advice to help her breastfeed then why post?
Momma you can do this you just have to hang in there. Just think of all the beneftis to your little one and to you. Your active lifestyle will be a lot easier without all those bottles to lug around and clean. You mentioned you never made it past the first few weeks before while Ican promise you that if you can just hang in there that you will be so happy you toughed it out.
I think any amount of breastfeeding is great. I don't want you to think I am judging you I just think we should be helping and encouraging you to breastfeed on the breastfeeding board not pushing formula..
Well, I think I am done. My baby latches on fine, however, he was 10lbs at birth, and is NEVER satisfied for more than 1 1/2 to 2 hours. I have two other small children, and we are a very active family. I found myself getting extremely irritable and depressed over the past week, and feeling trapped. I can't just sit home all day and nurse. Plus, his bm are never normal. They always cause him pain, and they are really mucousy and stinky and watery. Not the normal seedy.[/b]
My advice is to stick it out. You are in the first few weeks and some pain happens in those weeks (even sometimes toe curling kind of pain with proper latch) It should be gone by week 3. Your milk is still transitioning in the first two weeks of your babe's life, so once that happens fully and you are more relaxed without the pain you should be seeing more seedy poops (unless you continue to supplement with formula- that changes consistancy which might be what you are seeing now).
It is also normal for a baby to eat every 1.5 to two hours in these weeks. Don't fret...they will space out!
Breastfeeding is giving your babe a wonderful start at life...and, with two other kids and cold season coming, you will be very greatful for the protection breastfeeding gives!
I also have three kids with a young babe (three weeks)...my oldest is only 3. I recommend a soft carrier to help you out...check out a moby wrap or a peanut shell sling.
good luck!
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
His stomach is upset and his poops are the way they are because of the formula. Formula upsets the gut flora (and can even cause gut rot) and a mixture of formula and breastmilk can really upset a baby's stomach, causing them to be gassy and irritable.
Breastfeeding is very, very hard in the first 6 weeks, but it is so worth it. I AM a SAHM, but I'm also finishing my education by homeschooling, and have plenty of time to do school work. I also sell things on eBay for supplemental income, and go out quite a bit. I have time to do everything I'd be doing if I were formula feeding - I just make sure I have my sling with me. I suggest getting a sling. I can empty the diswasher, clean the house, check the mail, etcetcetc, while nursing. You don't have to be confined to the couch. It's the attitude that you can't do anything while nursing that will keep you locked inside your home.
I really do think you should stick it out. Breastfeeding is so, so rewarding and once you get the hang of it you'll be glad that you stuck to it.
you might want to contact a LC about the sore boobs/nipples. They can really help. If you really want to do this then definately contact someone. They will helpyou meet your goals - whatever they are.
I talked to my LC today for a follow up call. She is so wonderful. I told her we are still not getting much milk transfer but I'm ok with that right now, I'll just keep trying, some day Sadie will wake up and take bigger drinks from the breast. I also told her if I still end up having to give her a few bottles a day to supplement that is ok too. I just don't want to have to pump 8 times a day! I hate pumping.
You might want to pump for a bit too, that will give your boobs a break but keep up your milk supply. I know I hate pumping but I'm also proud when I see all the milk I pump (I have like 30 oz in the fridge right now!).
Abut the poops, I think he is getting too much foremilk, you could try just nursing him on one side for 30 mins instead of switching to the other after 15. That way he can get to the hind milk which will fill him up longer and keep him for satisfied. Then the next feeding switch to the other side.
I'd limit feedings to no more than 30 mins, he can get plenty out in that time. I know limiting feedings isn't popular but the LC I'm seeing understands that I have little kids that need care too. She told me that after 30 mins the baby actually burns more calories than he would take in just getting those last drips and drops.
I think it would get easier for you, as I am hoping it will get easier for me too. However I am more of a firm believer in happy mom/happy baby than anything else. I know I will have regrets if I quit which is what is keeping going on this insane schedule/plan. This is my last baby and I am committed to trying. You could aways set a goal like I'll just do this for 2 more days and then see how you feel after 2 days, or I'll do this for another 2 weeks or something like that.
If you want to be more mobile with baby, there is no law that says you can't pump milk before you leave and then bottle feed out and about. Of if you don't want to pump you can always use formula when you are out (I am not pushing formula here - I am trying to work a solution). As long as your little guy doesn't have a problem going between breast and bottle then you have a lot more choices in what you do. The only thing I would recommend about bottle feeding is get a bottle with a slow flow nipple - really slow so he stays used to the slower flow of breastfeeding. I found the ugly old playtex nursers wonderful for this. The nipple is a lot like mom and the flow is slow that she has to work on it.
Good luck and ultimately it is your decision, you as mom know what is right for you and your family.
you've only been bf again for two weeks....I'd be surprised if you did become overwhelmed with lovey feelings yet. Bf is hard, you know that and yeah it takes alot of time and work (if you think yours is bad, even at 7 months I am still bf every HOUR...but I got used to it and it's ok with me). Try to keep in mind also you might be having some post partum feelings, since it's been four years since your last you've probally forgotten all those crazy hormones your body is going to dish out and how long it took you to be normal again (but I heard it can be different everytime in the amount of time it takes). I personally didn't feel good or right again til 3 1/2 months or so.
I wouldn't give up just yet, you've only just begun. Do you start jobs and quit after only going for two days? That'd make no sense because you really have no idea what you're even doing yet, same feeling with the bf here even if you've done it before I think you've just forgotten a few very important facts on the side.
