[feistyangel]

The last 3 days have not been the happiest for me as far as nursing goes. During the night, Mason does wonderfully. He will nurse for about 10-15 minutes per side and go straight to sleep. During the day however, he has been fussy after almost every feeding.

Each day session starts out okay...he'll go 10-15 minutes one side then typically falls asleep so I burp him and switch sides. He'll do the same thing on the second side although sometimes he'll only go 5 minutes before he acts like he's done or at least that's how it appears to me. I burp him and go to lay him down and after about 5 minutes he starts to cry. So i offer him the side I started with again and sometimes he'll nurse more and then burp and go to sleep. Other times he'll nurse more and still seem unhappy. I just can't tell if he's really hungry or if he just like how comforting it feels to suck?

The lacatation consultant and our pediatrician said that 10 minutes on each side should be sufficient because they get like 90% of the milk emptied or something like that, however, would it be better to just let him go like 20 minutes per side?

I just want to give up at this point.

[LaLa]

The best advice I can give you is to throw all clocks, watches, and guidelines righ tout hte window.

Nurse when hes hungry. Hes hungry when he smacks his lips, sucks his fingers, etc. Right now he may be crying simply b/c hes being laid down. Which is normal. They spent 100% of their time right next to you, feeling your body heat, hearing your heartbeat, and now, evne if you hold htem 90% of the time, thats a huge drop!

So - keep him close, skin to skin when possible, nurse on demand, sometimes htis will be every hour, sometimes this will be ever 10 minutes, and if youre lucky in the first 6 weeks youll get a few hours stretch now & again

Dont worry about spoiling him yet, he needs your body heat & heartbeat & touch and the reassurance that youre there as much as he needs food & oxygen at this age.

Baby slings & carriers are life savers at this point b/c they can free up your arms and allow you to do essential things like eat & pee All the rest can pile up for a few more weeks, and itll be ok - or take the time when DH gets home to take care of the things that eat at you. But for now- cuddle up on the couch, readjust expectations, nurse him as long as he wants to nurse, switching sides only if he still acts hungry & is acting like he finished one side. Otherwise theres really no "need" to do 10 mins or 20 mins or even to nurse on both sides at one session. Many moms nurse on one side for one feeding, switch sides for the next feeding, and some even will nurse off one side for 2 hours (however many nursing sessions that ends up being), and 2 hours from the next one.

This is also a good way of ensureing that they get plenty of hindmilk - the fatty part of the milk that fills them up

Youre doing good, but those first 6 weeks can be challenging as you settle into a routine, are still learning your baby's cues, and adjusting to life (and how to let go of expectations & chores around the house lol).

Hang in there, it DOES get better. Hell eventually let you lay him down, sleep on his own, be able to let you know when hes truly hungry, and it all will just flow smoothly

Lala...

I just wanted to add that judging by his age youve hit a 3 week growth spurt. Its normal for him to nurse a lot more often for a few days, and then itll resume a little more normal, and youll likely hit another at 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months (give or take).

[srs]

Ditto to everything LaLa said, particularly the part about "readjust expectations". I know it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but I will never forget the moment of horror I felt at 3am when my DD was 3 days old, when I realized just how much time bfing was going to take. And how it was going to be all MY time, not DH's or Grandma's or anyone else. For me, by the time I had given up ever doing anything but bfing was when it started to get better. Now at close to seven months it's a breeze.

He also might not like being put down to sleep. My DD has just started happily sleeping on her own regularly, still not every time, and this is within the past month. It takes some time for them to adjust to life outside the womb.

Hang in there. The three week growth spurt is tough, as is the six week one, but then it really does start to get easier. For now, just find a comfy spot on the couch and make sure you've got enough to do and to eat/drink for awhile.

[sara_ann]

I felt the same way when I first started breastfeeding. I wondered how I was ever going to make it work. Like the others said it really does get better. I usually let her nurse for about 20 minutes on one side (I did time it) then put her on the other side and let her go until she was done. Sometimes 5 minutes and sometimes 20 again. Sometimes it felt like I barely finished one feeding before she was ready for another, I was ready to give up but knew this is what would be best for her. It's worth it and it gets better.

[beck12]

Sandi - I am sorry you are finding nursing such a challenge starting off. No one really prepares us for just how demanding it can be. At 3 weeks everything is so new as it is - but then to try & figure out how to handle this new overwhelming demand to nurse for what seems like all the time can seem so monumental some days. I know for some women it seems rather natural, but for me that was really really tough & frankly many times I wasn't sure I could stick it out. The way I got through it was setting small goals. I still kept my overall goal to make it to a year....but I would just tell myself maybe "I just need to make it through one more night" - or just until this weekend, etc, etc.... Don't focus on things that are too big - just here & now. I agree that schedules are NOT your friend. Others will tell you that "he should be able to go X amount of time between feedings" forget it.....don't let it bother you. When I decided to quit worrying about how much & how often & just fed him when he needed it & for however long & just counted diapers - it really felt like a weight lifted & I felt MUCH freer. Trying to get him scheduled & having some expectation of when he should eat & for how long actually was stressing me out without me even realizing it. These early weeks are the hardest - I PROMISE. I went back to work at 6 weeks & even that was not as hard when it comes to BF as the 6 weeks BEFORE that. (It was REALLY hard for me to go back to work - but not due to BF - just due to missing him). Anyway - all I can tell you of any value is this.... I assume you wanted to BF for many of the same reasons we all do - for the best benefit of your baby. So you chose to go down this path for all the right reasons & with all the best intentions. Please keep that in mind when things get really hard & believe with all your heart that this IS the hardest part. If you have made it to 3 weeks (and that first hard growth spurt) you have made it through the hardest part already. It won't get immensely easy overnight or anything....but it will keep getting easier from here. I have had a few issues (clogged ducts & mastitus) but even those were easier than that first month. If I am fortunate enough to have another baby some day I am hoping it is easier the second time through...but even if it's not - I at least have the hindsight benefit of knowing it gets easier & just how MUCH easier it gets. You are doing an AWESOME job - I promise you....if you are still BFing with all the frustration & sleep deprivation we have all felt - then you ARE doing awesome. You should be proud of that - and when you get ANY free time at all (when DH or gramma or someone can take the baby) try to take a few moments to pamper yourself with a bath/hot shower (that ISN'T a rush job), a little nap, whatever you can, to rejuvenate & just unwind a bit.

Congrats on the new baby & kudos for sticking it out. I know it's tough. If you ever want to talk PM me anytime hun!

Best wishes!

[LJD3Tdance]

Some babies just aren't 'by the book' babies, so their 10 minutes is for the by the book ones...just ignore them if that's what you need to do.