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depression after loss


Forum: Grief and Loss

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  #1  
September 1st, 2008, 12:51 AM
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My name is Vienna. I am 22 years old. Just recently my mother's youngest brother David died. He was 44 years old. He died on August 15th (although we didn't find out until the 17th) and I miss him every day. He was my favorite uncle (my mom had 5 brothers and a sister). He was kind, understanding, fun, an all around great guy. For the week after his death I cried every day. almost any time I was alone and my mind had time to wander. After a week it got a little better. Of course I was still sad but it was getting easier to keep the tears to a minimum. However, I've noticed that the weekends seem to be when it hits me hardest. It has now been 2 weeks since we found out he died and I am still completely devastated. I'm sure this is normal, but I believe I may be slightly depressed...

How have you dealt with your loss and depression? I feel helpless because there was nothing we could have done to save him but still I wish we could have known sooner. I'm having a harder time dealing with this than I thought I would... any insight would be helpful... Thank you.
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  #2  
September 9th, 2008, 12:24 AM
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I'm very sorry for your loss. A loss is so hard whether you know its coming or its totally unexpected.

At times I've dealt with my brother's death better than I thought I would, which only makes me feel guilty. And at other times I've dealt with it worse that I thought I would. My family doesn't talk about him much, its still really fresh and hard for some. So when he does get mentioned or brought up I still have a hard time getting a whole thought out because I'm so choked up. My dad likes talking about him but we both have a hard time and get choked up. Especially when talking about his birthday and stuff like that. So deffinately I'd say don't just not talk about him. I think it can help and be therapeutic for some. I think if my stepmom would talk about him and listen to everyone talk about him she might not be on anti-depressants right now. She didn't talk about him for nearly 3 years im pretty sure.
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  #3  
November 29th, 2008, 10:44 AM
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I'm very sorry for your loss. A loss is so hard whether you know its coming or its totally unexpected.

At times I've dealt with my brother's death better than I thought I would, which only makes me feel guilty. And at other times I've dealt with it worse that I thought I would. My family doesn't talk about him much, its still really fresh and hard for some. So when he does get mentioned or brought up I still have a hard time getting a whole thought out because I'm so choked up. My dad likes talking about him but we both have a hard time and get choked up. Especially when talking about his birthday and stuff like that. So deffinately I'd say don't just not talk about him. I think it can help and be therapeutic for some. I think if my stepmom would talk about him and listen to everyone talk about him she might not be on anti-depressants right now. She didn't talk about him for nearly 3 years im pretty sure.[/b]

Ohhh I'm so sorry for your loss! Its just one of those things that you can't explain in life and it really REALLY SUCKS everyone has dealt with it...but there's no use in analyzing it or dwelling on it for too long, take as much time as you need to deal with it, but the only thing u can do is try moving on because whether we like it or not life goes on!
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  #4  
December 8th, 2008, 09:51 PM
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Nobody can really tell you how to go through these things. It is normal for you to have good day and bad days. You will find yourself having good weeks and bad weeks. Everybody goes through these situations differently. There is no right way and wrong way to get over the pain you feel. It will always hurt inside because we have lost something so valuable to us. In time it does get better but how long it takes can be said.

I found what helped me the most after the lost of my little girl was to remain strong in the word of God. I have tried to fill my live with people who keep me strong and will not bring me down. I know that with God in my life all things are possible because he gives me strength. Find someone you can talk to and you can cry with and they will understand. Don't hold it in because that will cause you to sink deeper and deeper.

Hope you the best of luck!
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