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I just had a normal check up Yesterday at my doctors ofice. He could not find a heart beat. I kept telling myself that I know everything is just fine and that the baby is going to be just fine. Well I went to the hospital for an ultrasound and then they sent me back to the doctors(then I knew it was not good ) .Again, there was no heartbeat. I had lost my precious baby . All I have been doing crying and I can not stop. I can just start crying at the drop of a hat. I go to a special Doctor today at 3 to have another ultra sound and to see the size of the baby. I normally have c-sections. Then on Thursday is when it all ends. I keep thinking how do they think I can deliever a baby. They want me to do what push. How can you do that knowing what is in store for when you do.
I have had two other miscarriages and for me this is sooo much harder. This baby is formed and looks like a baby and the worst is that we are going to know what we had a boy or a girl.
I don't think I can do this. Why did this happen to me .I keep asking myself what have I done wrong. I believe in god ,but why I am a good mother I do not deserve this.
I am so sorry. I found out yesterday as well that our baby became an angel. He or she was only 8 weeks so I am thankful we wouldnt be able to know if it was a boy or girl.
I am having a D&C tomorrow. I feel so helpless and like I'm outside of my body. I have since yesterday. I start to cry for no reason well obviouslly theres a reason but just out of nowhere when I was fine.
How far along were you?
Thank you for the amazing siggy *Kiliki*