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  #1  
February 25th, 2009, 07:02 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 6
Hello everyone -
From advice from my cousin's wife she told me this would be a good idea to start the healing process. I've never been on a message board so please forgive me if I do this incorrectly. I'm 25 years old and was pregnant with my 1st child. I found out last week thrusday. I was having really bad pain on my left side and was bleeding. I knew that was not normal so I went to the hospital Saturday afternoon. I found out that I was having an ectopic pregnancy. I went into surgery and when I woke up I was told that they could not save my left tube. I always thought that I could never get pregnant because I never had it happen to me like most of my friends. Although I was scared when I found out and I was happy because something I never thought would happen to me finally happened. Before I even had a chance to digest it all, I lost my child and my tube. I know its okay to grieve, but I don't know how. I feel defective and so hurt. Now the thought of possibly never having children is even more depressing. Not sure where to turn.
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  #2  
February 26th, 2009, 02:16 AM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 25,063
I am so sorry for what you've gone through honey Any kind of pregnancy loss is hard to come to terms with but you're grieving for the loss of your tube and coping with fears for your fertility too. It's going to take a while for you to come to terms with how to grieve - please don't try to rush yourself sweetheart. Take things one step at a time.

If you still have one healthy tube then you will still be able to get pregnant in the future, when the time is right. You may be more closely monitored because of what's happened this time which hopefully will help to put your mind at rest when the time comes. Will you be seeing a doctor for a follow-up appointment soon, honey? Future pregnancies may be something you'd like to discuss at your apt if you do x x

Do you have someone to look after you in this difficult time sweetie? An SO or a friend or family member? I hope there is someone with you to look after you. Please make sure you take things slowly and let yourself recover physically, emotionally and mentally at ytour own pace x x

You may like to visit the pregnancy loss forum where youy may find other ladies who have been through the same thing.

My thoughts and prayers are with you x x
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  #3  
February 27th, 2009, 12:38 PM
~Lynda~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 7,264
yes that is totally true!!! one tube will serve you well. all you really need is one. i know you are sad right now, i'm currently going through my 3rd m/c as we speak so i'm right there with ya!!! i just wanted to give you a cyber hug
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  #4  
March 2nd, 2009, 06:17 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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Thank you soo much for writing back to me message.... Ive been trying these messages boards as a way to cope but no one has responded... decided to check this one today. I tried the ectopic pregnancy loss.. but no one has been on in weeks. :-( Truthfully I don't which one I'm mourning more.... my baby or my tube. Ive always loved children and just thought it be something that would come easy. This whole situation makes me feel less of a woman. I work for social services and I see the way some of these mothers just have child after child and mistreat them... I know I would never be that way. So why is it so easy for them and this happened to me? I know these are questions that no one can answer for me but they still come to my mind. I don't even know how to interact with the father. I know its not his fault, but I guess he's the closest person for me to get upset with. I don't even want to kiss him... I cant even cry. I feel like if I start I wont know how to stop. But again, thank you for taking the time out to write to me. You've really made my day... as sad as that sounds.
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  #5  
March 4th, 2009, 12:34 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 25,063
It doesn't sound sad at all, honey. Sometimes at the worst of times we need to reach out wherever we can and the internet is great for bringing you in touch with people who can lend a shoulder when you need one.

I am so sorry for asll you have gone through and loving a tube is as devastating as losing a baby. I only have one viable tube too (although mine is still in there it doesn't work thanks to complications from the removal of cysts and endo) and truly never thought it would happen for me. As long as you have one healthy tube you always have a chance, sweetheart - that's all it takes x

I think when something like this happens the people we are closest to are the ones we find hardest to relate to and it's easier to turn to strangers or those far away than to let those close to us see us crumble. It takes a long time to recover from loss and shock - just take it one day at a time. Let yourself heal in your own tme and don;t try to hurry it. And in the meanwhile you can always cry or vent here x x

many to you x x
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  #6  
March 12th, 2009, 12:00 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How are you doing, Yvonne? I've been thinking of you x
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