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I am currently dealing with a miscarriage which happened about a month ago and my husband and I are ready to conceive again. The problem is that we live in the heart of a popular city which attracts a lot of tourists and visitors non-stop.
We get requests every month from people wanting to stay over with us. Just this month alone, we had 5 requests. Apart from the visits being too frequent, we live in a small studio so we have no privacy as everything is one room. So essentially we are sharing the same bedroom with our guests (with a small divider which we roll out at night to seperate the view of our bed from the futon where the guests sleep). It is a challenge to try to conceive and I even had stayover guests on the day of my miscarriage and the week after.
I got so emotional the other day about it, that I called up a close family member who I confide in and told her that I was going to cut of communication with the outside world temporarily as these non stop guest requests are stressing me out and that way, people cant reach me to even ask. I wanted to hide my facebook profile, screen calls, and write a bounceback on my e-mail that I am not available till X date. I know that if I don't do this, someone will ask again soon and I dont want to deal with that right now in my life.
This family member was understanding but at the same time she 'reprimanded' me as she said several times that is the is the wrong way to handle things, why should I let this stress me out so much, I should just say no etc. I feel really emotional about her conversation.
Do you really think it is wrong to want to cut communication off from the outside world in this way temporarily while you are feeling overwhelmed? Was this family member right in saying that my doing this is the wrong to handle things?
Hun, I would say the best thing to do is the thing that makes you the most comfortable. You are going through a difficult time and dont need additional pressures so if you are comfortable saying to anyone asking... sorry but we are having some quiet time at the moment but (insert hotel name here) is just up the road and have some really good rates then do it... if your not comfortable doing that and would rather cut communications for a bit... then do that. Your healing is not about anyone else but you.
No Longer TTC..Eight Year Is Enough TTC For Me...I m 40 And I ll Wait For GrandKiddies
I am so sorry for your loss, honey. A miscarriage is such a devastating thing to go through and I am really sorry you are dealing with this.
I don't think you are in the wrong at all. If you are being plagued by people wanting to stay then I can totally imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling. Sometimes you do need to shut yourself away for a while to allow yourself to heal without having to use up your energy looking after other people or trying to hide how you're really feeling from them.
Take good care of yourself honey, and remember you can talk or vent to us any time x x
Hi MistyX, sorry I only just saw your question as I hardly come here....yes, I did make a decision - I cut myself off from the telephone (so DH could handle the calls) - thank goodness for that as another request came in my phone and DH said no. I've also only been checking my e-mails once a week or so ......even so, a cousin of mine I rejected by e-mail seems to have got a bit offended.
I'm feeling stronger now to say no to people. Thanks for your support
I'm so glad that you made the right decision for you and that you are feeling strojnger to say no, honey. I am still sorry that your cousin is feeling offended but sometimes relatives need to understand that as much as they are an important part of your life and family you have things going on within your closer family unit that you must deal woth as a priority and you need to look after yourself first and foremost.
Please drop by any time you need to talk or cry or to vent for a while. We'll be thinking of you x x