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Forum: Grief and Loss

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  #1  
May 8th, 2009, 03:34 PM
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 16
as u all know to well mothers day is just a few days away and with my miscarrage so very close in my mind still (9 days ago) im not sure how to deal. my boyfriend, even tho he loves me very much, wasnt effected much if at all by the loss since it was unplanned and schoked him in the first place. he just doesnt no how to help how to make me feel better so hes been mostly quite and keeping to him self and staying occupied. so i dotn exspect him to even acknowlage that this will be a very painful day for me. i cant figure out what to do i have to work 10-6 on sunday and help in the jewlery and floral departments (the main gifts given). i dont no how to just ignore all the happy mothers and all the mothers to be. everyday at work since ive lost i end up leaving upset and crying on my way home. im sooo jelous of them all... is that wrong....? i dont know what to do :-/
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  #2  
May 8th, 2009, 05:46 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 141
No its not wrong. i just lost mine 3days ago so this isnt easy on me. I have kids arleady so it will be easyer alittle. I was rideing around today and i saw little kids playing outside and i just wanted to cry, my b/f doesnt know how to deal with it either cause we didnt want a baby right now so it was a big shock to us. Its normal to feel this way, dont feel bad and dont think its wrong.
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  #3  
May 9th, 2009, 12:43 AM
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jk1889..... Hun.... the first thing I would say is..... be a little easier on yourself. You just lost your little angel 9 days ago....... right now is the time to be mourning and greiving... you didnt stub your toe... you lost your precious angel.... The best thing I can say is be true to your emotions. If your down then allow yourself to be down.. cry, scream, sulk... do whatever.... It wont bring them back but it will help in your healing. There is probably a fog that surrounds you right now, as if everything is moving around you but like your in some kind of daze as you see it. But hun..... that fog will lift in time..... and time is the only healer. It doesnt mean you will forget... it just means that you will learn how to cope with it in time. My first Mothers day after my little angel babies flew I spent with my other children so I was lucky in that aspect, however I took the time during the day to know that there are 4 children I am a mother too. Not just the 2 that are here on earth. For Fathers day, (our little angels were my husbands only babies) I brought him a watch. I engraved on it their names on the front and then on the back... not happy fathers day.. but just fathers day 2008. He wears that watch every day.

So for tommorrow..... for your first mothers day... I would suggest.... do something for you... ok.. so you have to work... well... afterwards or before.. do something for you. doesnt matter if its as simple as relaxing in bath with candles burning around you and soft music playing.... Its still your mothers day hun..... maybe not a happy one.. but its still your mothers day...... HUGE hugs hun

MaMa Twinkle... a huge hug for you as well hun...... Your days will get better...... even though it doesnt feel like it sometimes..... Its just one day at a time..... One Day At A Time
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  #4  
May 10th, 2009, 05:30 AM
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Location: UK
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I am so sorry for your loss, honey x x The timing must be so hard on you, too. But please remember that you are still a mother, and although today is going to be very hard on you you have every right to cry, to mourn, and above everything to look after yourself.

Robyn made some wonderful suggestions about how to take some time for yourself and to remember your angel baby. I think it's important for you to acknowledge him or her today and remember that you have just as much right for this day to be yours as anyone else with a baby here on earth or in heaven.

I think it can be very difficult for our partners to understand how a miscarriage affects us. They feel a different kind of loss to us and grieve differently. If you can, please take him to one side today and tell him that you are feeling low today and the reason why, and just tell him that you'll need a little patience. You need his support more than ever today x x

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss honey. You'll be in my thoughts, and please come and talk, cry or lean on us whenever you need x x
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  #5  
May 29th, 2009, 02:41 AM
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I was just wondering how you were doing honey? Please check in with us when you are able x x
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  #6  
June 30th, 2009, 07:58 AM
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Hey there, I was just wondering how you were getting on, honey?

If you are around please drop by and check in x x We'd love to hear from you x
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  #7  
June 30th, 2009, 07:59 AM
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Hey there, I was just wondering how you were getting on, honey?

If you are around please drop by and check in x x We'd love to hear from you x
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