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Lost my father today


Forum: Grief and Loss

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  #1  
June 10th, 2009, 05:57 AM
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Hi everyone. I actually stumbled through this forum a while back and forgot all about it until today. Here's the link to my dad's journey the past week with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer with mets to all major bones... He was in Hospice. He was only 43.
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f4...nd-6-10-a.html
I have lost many friends and family members over the years and it never gets easier. But I do feel peace this time around because I was able to be with him so much at the end. I am comforted knowing he is no longer in pain.
Also, are there any other atheists/agnostics/non-religious who have lost someone here?
I am sorry for all of your losses and hope I can stick around here some over the next few days when I have time.
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Last edited by melkissa2004; June 10th, 2009 at 06:09 AM. Reason: xposted Loss of Parent
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  #2  
June 10th, 2009, 02:50 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Welcome to the board, and I am so, so sorry for your loss I'm glad that you've found us. Although this is a quiet board the ladies who drop by are lovely and are all here to lend you an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on whenever you need us. I am sure there are some non-religious people here as we have people from all different backgrounds and all different walks of life x

I am so sorry for your loss, honey. I have read your post and it moved me to tears. You have been through so much and he fought so bravely. I am glad you were able to spend so much time with him at the end. Please try to take some time to look after yourself right now - you have been through a heartwrenching time and need a little time for yourself if you are able. How are the rest of his family doing?

I am thinking of you and your family x x

Please come here any time you need to talk, sweetheart. We are all here for you x x
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Last edited by Misty_X; June 10th, 2009 at 02:53 PM.
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  #3  
June 11th, 2009, 05:08 AM
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Thank you so much for the warm welcome.
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  #4  
June 14th, 2009, 06:22 AM
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How are you doing, honey? I have been thinking of you and your family x x
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  #5  
June 14th, 2009, 06:03 PM
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Thanks sweety! I have been okay I guess. I am having worse panic attacks and anxiety and having trouble sleeping. Once I fall asleep, I am okay and I sleep all night... But falling asleep is hard. I keep having nightmares about my dad still being alive laying in a bed in pain and I can't do anything to help him. And about my mom being so upset she hurts herself because she misses my dad and I can't be there for her like I should. I also keep having anxiety about my health now. Like I might get cancer and die and lose my family... It's just weird, I've never had thoughts/dreams like this before. I am on anxiety medication and it makes the attacks easier to get through but it doesn't prevent them. I am getting better at working through them though.
My mom seems okay. My aunt is still down from Oregon staying with her so she seems to be holding up okay. I am really concerned about her well being after my aunt leaves though.
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  #6  
June 15th, 2009, 01:16 PM
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I think it's normal to be prone to nightmares and panic attacks after losing someone, honey. Your mind goes crazy playing out different scenarios and it's very difficult to break that cycle. I'm glad your meds are helping some. Have you spoken to your doctor about whether they can help you to stop the attacks in other ways that will work with your medication to keep some of the anxiety away? Perhaps there are some techniques you could use when you feel the anxiety coming on x x

I'm thinking of you and your family x x
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  #7  
June 15th, 2009, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Misty_X View Post
I think it's normal to be prone to nightmares and panic attacks after losing someone, honey. Your mind goes crazy playing out different scenarios and it's very difficult to break that cycle. I'm glad your meds are helping some. Have you spoken to your doctor about whether they can help you to stop the attacks in other ways that will work with your medication to keep some of the anxiety away? Perhaps there are some techniques you could use when you feel the anxiety coming on x x

I'm thinking of you and your family x x
No, I really need to call her and set up an appointment though. I just have so much on my plate right now (financially) that I have been putting it off.
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  #8  
June 21st, 2009, 01:37 AM
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Hey honey, how have you been doing? I haven't been able to get on JM very much this week for some reason (I think it was to do with the behind the scenes work for the beta site) so I'm trying to catch up now.

How are you coping at the moment with everything? How is your mother doing? I know you were worried about how she would cope when your Aunt went home.

Update us when you can x x
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  #9  
June 30th, 2009, 07:00 AM
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I was just wondering how you were, honey x x

If you are around please stop by and update us. I have been thinking of you and your family x x
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  #10  
June 30th, 2009, 07:33 PM
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I'm doing a lot better! I've been sleeping better and not having nearly as much anxiety! Thanks for asking sweety.
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  #11  
July 4th, 2009, 04:46 AM
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I'm so glad things are getting a little better for you It must really help to at least be getting some decent sleep.

Thinking of you, honey x
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  #12  
December 14th, 2009, 02:52 PM
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I just came across this forum today, and I know you wrote this a while back. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad. My Dad died 10 years ago from Leukemia at 53. It was almost a sense of relief for me, because he was on life support for a week, and it was very traumatic to watch his body struggle. I have lived most of my adult life without him, and his death has changed me in ways I'm sure I don't fully comprehend. My daughter was born in September of 2008, and I find myself worrying constantly about her and my husband. It's a harsh reality when you lose someone so close, and it really opens your eyes that horrible things do happen.

I wish at times that I had faith, but I am an Atheist. It would be nice to think that my Dad is watching out for me, and somehow knows what's going on in my life. I was very close to him, and I try to live my life as if he was watching...to make him proud. It gives me a sense that he lives on, and it is comforting. I can't wait to tell my daughter about her Grandpa Stewart and what an awesome person he was.
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