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will the pain ever go away


Forum: Grief and Loss

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  #1  
August 17th, 2009, 10:55 AM
kitkat83's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: florida
Posts: 182
i just found out that my sweet little angel is in my tubes ive been crying off and on since i found out last night. please tell me it gets eaiser and i wont feel like this forever i know ill always miss her and nothing will ever replace her but i jsut feel so lost and hopeless right now.
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  #3  
August 18th, 2009, 02:48 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 25,063
((((((hugs)))))) Welcome to the board, honey. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how devastated you must be feeling or what you are going through. Although I've suffered pregnancy losses I have never suffered an ectopic pregnancy.

Please try to take things a step at a time, sweetheart. Just cope on a day by day basis - minute by minute if you have to. Although you will never stop missing your baby and the pain will never completely go away with time it WILL become easier. You will be able to breathe a little more deeply and the darkness will start to fade.

You can't hurry the process, only time can help you to heal, but it DOES get better. Do you have anyone around you who you can talk to when you need someone to be there for you?

You can come and talk to us whenever you need to. You can write over and over again, for pages and pages, or just a few words - whatever you need. That's what we're here for.

You're in my thoughts, honey - stay strong x x
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  #4  
August 19th, 2009, 12:33 PM
kitkat83's Avatar Veteran
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thanks ladies i started bleeding today and got my blood results the levels dropped to the 200's so that means everything is going down as it should be if it was an ectopic it never took and my body is naturally getting rid of it on its own which im thankful for im doing alot better today and im still a bit weepy at times but i feel its for the best it happened this early and not later and im thankful i have had some time to know what was coming instead to thinking that all was well then start the bleeding it gave me some time to prepare my self for what was to come. me and my bf are trying to look on the positive side of things we now know its possible we can conceive on our own which we didnt know if it was possible due to me having pcos so were gearing up to try again and praying all goes well next time we wont give up till we have our precious little one to cuddle in our arms
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  #5  
August 20th, 2009, 12:36 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((((((hugs)))))))

I am so sorry you are going through this, sweetheart. Whether you had time to prepare or not, I know that it must have hurt so much to see the bleeding begin. I am glad you are able to take one thing from this - that you are able to fall pregnant naturally. I hope that, when you are ready to try again, you will be able to fall quickly and have a healthy and happy pregnancy next time around x x

How are you doing today? I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing x x
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  #6  
August 20th, 2009, 01:43 PM
kitkat83's Avatar Veteran
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im doing good today i passed the baby this afternoon which means that afterall she was in my uterus but just didnt develop. my dr put me on 3 weeks of pelvic rest till i get my repeat blood levels they want to make sure that it gets down to 0 im feeling good other then that just tired and drained feeling and my boobs hurt again today which is like a slap n the face but im dealing and jsut taking it one day at a time thanks for wondering about me
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  #7  
August 24th, 2009, 07:16 AM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How are you doing, honey? How is the bleeding?

Do you mind if I ask what made them think you were suffering from an ectopic pregnancy? I thought they had seen a sac in your tube on the u/s x x

I hope you are taking good care of yourself during this difficult time, sweetie. Is anyone around to look out for you? x
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  #8  
August 27th, 2009, 08:15 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
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Loss never goes away completely, but one day you wake up to find that you don't mind carrying it with you. I hope it gets easier over time for you, like it did for me.
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  #9  
August 29th, 2009, 06:48 AM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was just wondering how you are doing, honey? Do let us know how you are getting on if you're able to drop by x x
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  #10  
August 29th, 2009, 08:05 AM
kitkat83's Avatar Veteran
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Sorry its taken me so long to get back on here school started mon and i started back to work on wed ive been doing ok untill thurs and fri they were pretty bad days i thought i was doing good untill then but i lost it once on thurs while listening to the radio and then fri i lost it 4 times i dont know why all of a sudden it hit me but i think that the numbness finally wore off. Plus working with kids all day is really hard so im thinking of looking for a new job.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Misty_X View Post
How are you doing, honey? How is the bleeding?

Do you mind if I ask what made them think you were suffering from an ectopic pregnancy? I thought they had seen a sac in your tube on the u/s x x

I hope you are taking good care of yourself during this difficult time, sweetie. Is anyone around to look out for you? x
My bleeding only lasted from wed to sun the only day being bad was thurs when i lost her. the other days were really light

They thought it was a tubal cause they said they saw somehting that looked like an early ectopic near my left tube come to find out it was a cyst my dr said that the er was just covering there butts.

I have my fiancee we just got engaged last sat so the wedding planning is helping me keep my mind off of it a bit and my family lives down here too and 4 ladies i know have all gone through this too 3 within the last year so i have them to talk to

Thanks for thinking of me
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  #11  
August 29th, 2009, 12:55 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your loss, honey. I'm glad that you have lots of support to help you through this. Thinking of you.

Last edited by ..Penelope..; August 29th, 2009 at 01:03 PM.
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  #12  
September 1st, 2009, 02:01 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry you went through the fear of an ectopic on top of having to cope with your loss, honey It's a good thing that it was checked out, but you must have gone through so much when you were told that. I am so sorry for all you've been through the last few weeks x x

Congratulations on your engagement - this must be a bittersweet time for you, but hopefully the planning will bring some joy back into your life, bit by bit.

Please check in when you can, let us know how you're doing and keep us posted on your planning too x x

(((((((hugs)))))))
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  #13  
September 1st, 2009, 08:17 PM
kitkat83's Avatar Veteran
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yea it is bittersweet cause now we are going to wait till after the wedding to try to have another baby i want one now but i dont want to have to leave the baby to go on a honeymoon and i dont want to be big and prego at my wedding so its like some days im ok with it and others i just get upset cause its a year away but i think once we really get into the planning itll be ok
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  #14  
September 8th, 2009, 10:01 AM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Have you set the date yet, honey? x x

How are you doing with everything right now? I am just checking up to see how you are going x x
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  #15  
September 10th, 2009, 07:17 PM
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(i cant sign in to my other account for some reason so this is my new one for now till i figure out whats going on)

yea we set a date its 10-10-10 we thought that it would be cool to have that date lol

I have had a pretty rough couple of days my last drs app on the 8th went terrible the **** dr didnt have enough brains to look at a chart before she came in the room and brought in the fetal doppler cause this was suppose to be when i heard the heartbeat so it sent me in to a tail spin ive spent the last 3 days in tears and have been very irritable and grumpy so ive been trying to chill with the fiancee and just having him here with me makes it 1000 times easier he has been my rock through this whole thing i would not have made it through without him but right now im too the point where i dont care about anything i hope it passes soon cause i hate this
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