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I lost my baby yesterday. I was 8 weeks. I woke up with cramps that hurt so unbelievably bad. I went into the bathroom and felt everything come out. It was horrible. I miss him so much. My mom has been really supportive and sad also. I feel pain so deep inside that I didn't know I could feel that deep. The physical pain is to the point where I wake up eat a little something take vicodin and go back to sleep. Its the worst pain. My heart hurts so bad. I wanted him so bad. People have been asking, "you doing alright?" NO I'm not. Why would you ask that?? Or "you're young, you'll have lots of other babies." Do people not understand that I want THAT baby?? I thought my sisters would be a little more sad. Maybe it's just me being selfish and hurt. They were here when I miscarried and then had to leave for work. When they came back they were just watching the news and joking around. I felt so alone. My fiance has been so good to me. So helpful and sweet. Anyway, sorry for the long rant.
Hey... I know how you feel. I'm 6 weeks... was 6 weeks, I'm scheduled for a d&c tomorrow morning (our baby's heart stopped beating, we've been going through the cramping and bleeding for an entire week now.) My fiance is great too but he'll never understand what it feels like to have your body betray you, to fail at your God given right to bear a child. I'm so angry at everyone and nothing at all. I hate that people say "sorry for your loss", they're not really sorry. Life goes on for them as soon as they turn and walk away from you but you're left with that void and that pain so deep and harsh it almost takes your breath away. And it is terrible to tell me that I can have more children, regardless of how many I might have... I still lost a very sacred, very precious part of me. I know how you feel, no matter how many tears, how much anger, how much not understanding or denial... life still has to move on. Always, always, always hold that special angel close to your heart, never forget him/her but life must go on. Take time to grieve but when that time is over... lirfe must go on. Think about it... would you want your mom to stop living, believing, hoping or dreaming if heaven forbid something where to happen to you??
I know what you are going through... I found out about my loss at what I thought would be the ultrasound where they would be able to tell us what we were having. You are lucky to have a supportive fiance - my boyfriend (or whatever he is right now) hasn't wanted to be with me... I don't know if that is his way of grieving or what, but it hurts - because no one but him loved the baby as much as I did. It is hard having gotten to where you think things are good, only to have your dreams shattered. People are slowly starting to find out, calling saying how sorry they are, and though they mean well, they don't understand. I was driving to work wondering how it was that the world is still going on like normal when my world has been shattered. No one, but those who have gone through this can understand the immense pain you go through - whether you are a day pregnant or more... I have had 5 losses ranging from 6 weeks to 16 weeks, and I promise you life does go on, even though it hurts so much right now. Believe me I know the pain and hurt you are going through and how others being joyful hurts - it will subside. A lot of people just don't know what to do so they try to make things as normal as possible for you... Please PM me if you need to talk.
(((HUGS))) I went through what you are going through 12 times. When I had my first loss I started writing down everything it really helped the healing. My first loss was in 1995 my last loss was Nov 2008. The journal started with the day I found out I was pregnant to the day I experienced the loss, it helped the healing.
So times those "I'm sorry" are true and some are fake the only ones who understand are those who have been through it.
You're absolutely in every way justified to rant. Do it all you want. When we went through out loss in October, I went through all the emotions. I was angry, sad, pissed off, back to sad. I ranted to everyone that would listen (thanks fellow board members). Everyone is going to be so understanding here.
I felt the same way you did about everyone going on with their life. Here I was hurting and everyone else was interested in Holiday parties. No one skipped a beat, and that really made me angry.
Those stupid remarks people say, because they don't know what else to say. Sometimes you just want to say, "SHUT UP!!"
Of course, PM me anytime if you need to.
New Mom to a baby boy!
Big Sister 8 yo.
1 angel baby girl, 10/21/2009. 20w, 6d. Blog