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I miscarried 4 weeks ago at 12 weeks. It was a missed miscarriage and the doctors said the baby had died a week before that. The fact that my body was not responding to the death at all made the next two weeks very medically invasive, only adding to the physical and emotional trauma. This was the first pregnancy for my boyfriend and I, and even though it wasn't planned we still wanted the baby very much. It's been 4 weeks now and I'm still dealing with everything that happened. Whereas my boyfriend, even though he was very hurt and wished the baby never died, was fine and carrying on with life as usual after about three days. He is upset/bothered by the fact that I still get upset, sad and distant every now and then about the miscarriage. He doesn't understand why I can't just move on and be happy that one day we will have a happy, healthy baby. He looks at it as I'm the one with the "problem" or "issue" here. I on the other hand though view it OUR problem since WE lost the baby. I get where he could be coming from since I seem to be the only one still having a hard time with everything, but am I wrong to think he's crazy for putting this on me?? I don't know how upset I should be about him not viewing this as our issue right now.
I know this is very delayed and I hope you have a chance to read this. It is very normal to take weeks, months, years to get through a loss. And you will never forget or just "get over it". I have had 2 m/c. They both hurt and I think of my babies all the time. It is different for men than it is women. We have a different connection with the baby. If you ever want there are many ladies on the Pregnancy loss forum that have been through this and are there for anyone who wishes to join us. Pregnancy Loss - JustMommies Message Boards