Log In Sign Up

need to learn how to cope after a year of losing my step daughter


Forum: Grief and Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Grief and Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
November 22nd, 2010, 06:43 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Marion Indiana
Posts: 6
This is very hard for me still. On December 29 2009, @ 7:30 a.m I found my step daughter dead. It hurts so much, and I freak out when I see my 3 yr old laying in bed asleep and doesnt move for a bit or when I go to wake him up he likes to play possium, well when I see this it scares me so bad, that I am reliving that day again. My step daughter had a disease called CLS, which is basically like cerbal palsy. She was sick, she was 8 and her body looked like a 4 yr old child. well her mom wasnt giving her poop meds to her in a few months so she wasnt having regular bowl movements due to that part of the brain didnt send a signal to her body telling her to poop so she had to take the meds to be able to poop. So she comes over 12-28-09 for her xmas break visit, her mom says well she has flu like symptoms and gave us her medicade card and says if her fever rises or she gets worse to take her to er. Well we didnt think much of it. she ate super but not much because she was so impacted that u couldnt get no more food in her. so not knowing this, I put her to bed like normal, said our good nights to her we got a smile. well usually around 5 or so she wakes up and u can hear making noise's cause she couldnt speak but she was a noise maker. well I didnt hear it that morning, but I thought that we was just still sleeping. by 7:30 she didnt wake up, and she always wake up at 6 every morning. So at 7:30 when i didnt hear I went to the living room and found her not moving and cold stiff, and not breathing. So I screamed for her dad, and I got on the cell to 911, and her dad called her mom to tell her she needs to get to town and meet us at the police station. she refused that there was anything wrong, so the police got on the phone and told her to meet us at the police station for questioning. When the 911 told me to do cpr I screamed at her and said it is too late she is already stiff there is no pulse. so the ambluance got her in 5 minutes cause I am really close the hospital. the ambulance people came in and checked and her said I am very sorry she is already gone and has been, and takes her blanket and covers her up till police get here, I am so hurt over this. I loved her as one of my kids. I was the one to take care of her. I cant write any more now, I am getting ready to cry. sorry
Reply With Quote
  #2  
November 23rd, 2010, 07:47 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry you had to face this. Were any charges ever brought against the mom for neglecting to give the meds?

From what you described about your son playing opossum, it sounds like you have a touch of PTSD. This is normal in a situation like yours. I would recommend finding a doctor that might be able to help you work through that.

If you ever need to talk, just PM me.
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
November 23rd, 2010, 08:43 PM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Priest Lake, Idaho
Posts: 12,944
Send a message via Yahoo to NewportMamaBear
I'm so sorry for you having to go through that and having to be scared everyday. Let yourself cry, its okay. You loved her and cared for her. *hugs*
__________________
Thank you Zarziza for a beautiful siggy
Missing my dad 2/23/1961-11/1/2010
Reply With Quote
  #4  
November 24th, 2010, 09:55 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 18,623
i'm so sorry for your loss it's unimaginably painful to loose a child
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
November 26th, 2010, 11:20 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Marion Indiana
Posts: 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Augie View Post
Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry you had to face this. Were any charges ever brought against the mom for neglecting to give the meds?

From what you described about your son playing opossum, it sounds like you have a touch of PTSD. This is normal in a situation like yours. I would recommend finding a doctor that might be able to help you work through that.

If you ever need to talk, just PM me.
Every time the cps and corner, and the court try to do some thing about it, as soon as she gets papers or something, she moves so they cant find her to get her to court. My step son which is her brother is on meds and we look at the bottles for a recent address and she always keeps the old one on there so no one can give cps the right address to get anything done. I still call cps on her over the son, because she isnt sending all of his meds just one at a time, and they say well we cant do anything with out an address. the hardest thing is, that I still havent grieved over her I couldnt let myself cry cause I dont want my 3 yr old to see me cry over her, and I have to be strong for my fiance. I think that is why I am like this in so many ways. thanks for the response, and the offer to talk with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alethia View Post
i'm so sorry for your loss it's unimaginably painful to loose a child
It is very painful, because her mom was never there for her at all her dad had to take care of her while the mother would go out and drink, and party. so he was juggling work and being at the hospitals with his daughter. So when I came along almost 5 years ago, I treated his kids like they are my own, I grew attached to her. she was a big part of my life, because I would do everything for her like feedings, changings baths, and so on. It became a big routinge in my life with her, and now there is the big hole of her being gone.
__________________
a loving mother
Reply With Quote
  #6  
November 29th, 2010, 01:04 PM
somo_chickenlady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bradleyville, MO
Posts: 3,277
I'm terrible at knowing what to say in situations like this, so...



I'm sorry about everything you had to go through.
__________________


Click on my blinkies!!



**thank you SO much to tasha_mae for my beautiful siggy
and to CupcakeJamie and Niamh ૐ for my blinkies!!**
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:52 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0