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loss by suicide

Forum: Grief and Loss


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December 8th, 2010, 03:40 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Last edited by eli's momma; September 1st, 2011 at 10:08 AM.
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December 9th, 2010, 09:59 PM
MrsLMB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
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I can relate---sort of.

I had an ex die almost 2 years ago. We had a rough break up, he went through a suicidal period and basically scared the crap out of his family. We dated for about 2 years. A little background into him...he was an insulin dependent diabetic and always threatened to not take his shots. He had severe mood swings which is a part of being diabetic. That is what broke us up...he was too much for me to handle he didnt take care of himself. He went nuts at times and it scared me.

Well, a year, almost to the day, after we broke up they found him dead in his bed. He had been feeling sick and was not at work and his boss came to see if he was ok. He wasnt obviously. He died of diabetic acidosis which basically meant that he didnt take his insulin. They think it was an accident, or that is what everyone tells me. I dont know. I went to the funeral (DH was upset about it but I felt like I had to) and I sat quietly in back, avoiding the family. I brought a card for them with some money and they sent thank yous to my family for their cards but I never got one. I dont know why. They were a very nice family I just always wonder if they were upset with me. I wish now that I would have known what really happened and if they blame me. I would never say to them how violent he got at times but I would like for them to understand that me breaking up with him wasnt because I wanted to be with someone else, it was because he was on a one way path to destruction and it wasnt healthy for me.

If I were you I would contact his family. The worst they can do is not talk to you. I think that may be what you need for closure. It sounds like all the info you have is just hearsay. You should find out the real details from his family...and just explain to them that you need to know so you can say goodbye.

Thank you to *Kiliki* for the pretty siggy!
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December 24th, 2010, 10:17 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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*hugs* ladies. I'm sorry for the late reply; I'm just seeing this thread. I do agree with contacting the family if you haven't already. Please know, it's not your fault. You didn't know he was depressed, nor did you know he was still hung up on you. Please don't feel guilty about this.

I was suicidal at one point and can tell you that it was no one's fault. Not even my own, really. It was a chemical imbalance and lack of knowledge on how to cope with my emotions. I didn't attempt it, despite having a letter written and all because of some other circumstances, and I thank God now that my parents decided to stay home that night.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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December 24th, 2010, 10:42 AM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas
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I think you should call the city and ask about the cemetary and visit it if you need closure. I'm saddened to read that noone cared about him enough to go to his burial. I'm not so sure about contacting his family as i think it might stir some dust. None of it is your fault. I had an ex that threatened suicide after breaking up but he never went through with it.
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