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I realized the other day that this Christmas I should have a 3 yr old, a 2 yr old, a 1yr old, and a 3 month old. Instead, I'm sitting here with a broken heart and empty arms. There isn't a single gift under my tree. There's no point. We don't have anyone at home to celebrate with. (DH and I can't afford to get each other gifts because of the fertility treatments.) I hate this. Instead of watching my kids experience Christmas, I will be sitting watching my unplanned niece open her gifts from Santa. Don't get me wrong, I love my niece but I'm jealous. My sister was no where near an appropriate point in her life to start a family. She did not take care of herself during her pregnancy and even stayed with the baby's abusive father for the duration of the pregnancy.
Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
I lost my little girl 5 weeks before Christmas last year, and for two Christmases now I have had to shop for and watch my step-daughter open up her gifts; it is so bittersweet.
I should be shopping for, wrapping, and enjoying watching my little girl open up her gifts and enjoying her Christmas.
Christmas isn't enjoyable for me. I did not bake this year, I did not decorate my house (our tree went up on Christmas Eve for 2 nights), and I hated pretty much every minute of shopping and wrapping the presents. It is not the same without my little girl
C, mommy to:
4 kids - 3 with feet, 1 with wings