[Mommy_of_7_Angels]

I realized the other day that this Christmas I should have a 3 yr old, a 2 yr old, a 1yr old, and a 3 month old. Instead, I'm sitting here with a broken heart and empty arms. There isn't a single gift under my tree. There's no point. We don't have anyone at home to celebrate with. (DH and I can't afford to get each other gifts because of the fertility treatments.) I hate this. Instead of watching my kids experience Christmas, I will be sitting watching my unplanned niece open her gifts from Santa. Don't get me wrong, I love my niece but I'm jealous. My sister was no where near an appropriate point in her life to start a family. She did not take care of herself during her pregnancy and even stayed with the baby's abusive father for the duration of the pregnancy.

[Kristen_at_the_lake]

*hugs* Auggie. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. Thinking of you and praying for comfort.

[Mommy_of_7_Angels]

Thanks sweetie. This time of year really brings out my self-pity. It doesn't help that we expected MA to work by now and for us to be pregnant with a sticky bean.

[mommy2olliebeans]

I can relate a little bit.

I lost my little girl 5 weeks before Christmas last year, and for two Christmases now I have had to shop for and watch my step-daughter open up her gifts; it is so bittersweet.

I should be shopping for, wrapping, and enjoying watching my little girl open up her gifts and enjoying her Christmas.

Christmas isn't enjoyable for me. I did not bake this year, I did not decorate my house (our tree went up on Christmas Eve for 2 nights), and I hated pretty much every minute of shopping and wrapping the presents. It is not the same without my little girl

[Mommy_of_7_Angels]

*hugs* Thanks hun.