Log In Sign Up

I am looking for suggestions.


Forum: Grief and Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Grief and Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
February 21st, 2011, 07:14 PM
challowell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Caldwell, Ohio
Posts: 2,172
I know this is not exactly loss related but it kinda is. I have a Grandma with Alzheimer's disease and Macular degeneration. Basically she is losing her sight and memory. My three year old who has been asking a lot of questions since we have been taking turns watching her asked last night if Grandma is going to leave us soon. I told her no and asked why she thought that. She said Uncle LLoyd left us and he did not know her name and "little nana" does not know her name. I am wondering if she is scared someone she loves is going to leave her again. Grandma is not really ill. She has got to the point where if there is something out of her routine it bothers her and us being with her aggitates her and even though she will not yell at me with the kids in the room Rachel can tell something is not right with her.

My question is does anyone know how I should explain it to her so it will be understandable to her but not be scary for her?

To add my Uncle LLoyd died in November of Stage 4 Brain Cancer.
__________________
Thank you peimum for my beautiful siggy.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
February 22nd, 2011, 07:46 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,612
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
Oh wow....hmm...let me think on this one. *hugs*
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
February 22nd, 2011, 09:49 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,316
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Heya sweetie, Augie directed me over here. We recently dealt with something similar with my father.

In 2008 my dad was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia (aka Picks Disease) at 55. We quickly watched him go from a strong man to a 3-4 year old child. My aunt's little girl was 5 at the time. She asked a lot of questions, and we answered her as absolutely honestly as we could.

I know she's 3, but she understands a lot more than we all realize. If your Grandma's body itself is healthy, tell your lil girl that. Tell her that Nana's brain is sick and she can't remember things very well anymore. That it makes Nana get scared and angry and upset faster, and that it's not your fault, or her fault if it happens. Sugar coat, but be honest with her, she's going to figure out if you're lying to her very quickly.

Help her do "normal" things with her Nana. Have her help you make a drink or a snack for her, let her help you bring it to her. Things that she can remember "I helped when Nana was sick." That really helped Tori deal with her "Uncle Scott being silly", since they looked after him for mom so she could work. It's frightening to realize that a 5 year old can handle a boiling kettle to make coffee or tea better than a 55 year old man.

The Alzheimer's society has some fantastic information for children available, both online and most doctors keep the information around since it's becoming more prevalent. I'm sure a quick phone call could get you all you needed about telling her what's going on.

**HUGS** for your family. This is a sick nasty set of diseases that robs us of the people we love, even while they are still technically here with us.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
Reply With Quote
  #4  
February 24th, 2011, 12:03 PM
challowell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Caldwell, Ohio
Posts: 2,172
Thanks for the advise. She is trying to understand that nana is "sick in her head but is Ok" and we have been trying to let her do stuff with her nana. It is so different because she used to loe reading books to the babies and letting them try to play her piano but now it is like she has no interest in being around the girls and is constantly afraid. We have been giving Grandma a nerve pill daily just so she can avoid having a panic attack around the girls.
__________________
Thank you peimum for my beautiful siggy.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
February 24th, 2011, 06:56 PM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Priest Lake, Idaho
Posts: 12,944
Send a message via Yahoo to NewportMamaBear
*hugs*
__________________
Thank you Zarziza for a beautiful siggy
Missing my dad 2/23/1961-11/1/2010
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:26 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0