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Thank you for your warm welcome. I'm sorry for your loss and wish we weren't meeting here. But it helps to have people to reach out to and it's so wonderful to hear back.
My brother was 25 (I was 30 then) - this was 2 years ago. 2009 was a big year for us or at least thats what we were planning. It was going to be a year of big change and we were both excited, anxious. My brother graduated from Law School that year, he got placed at his dream firm and moved to a new city.
The recession had made it tough to secure the offer and he had to try hard, wait patiently, deal with a lot of disappointments but he finally made it. We were so proud....
I was running on very high power as well, doing well at work, traveling the world, my husband and I got our amateur paragliding license that year, we went sky diving.. and I was applying to B-schools to study further. My brother encouraged me to all of that, it made him proud to see me push the limits too.
He had just started working and it was less than a month into his job when he was suddenly taken ill with falciparum malaria (something we hadn't heard of before). The docs didn't catch it in time and though he fought hard for 2 weeks in the ICU, we couldn't save him.
It broke my heart to see him go, and I was by his side the entire 2 weeks. We received a lot of love and support and prayers from across the world, people of different religions prayed for him round the clock, came in 100s to donate blood in a city where we didnt know anyone - and we had to give most of it away to other patients who shared his rare blood type.
It's so tough now that he's gone. My life changed completely and I am now expecting my first child. Still the pain in my heart doesn't go away, I still can't feel much happiness or excitement.
I haven't had a chance to tell anyone all this in 2 years... sorry for the long post, I just miss him so much and there's nothing I can do about it... simply nothing....