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I know I have had tons of ups and downs and its totally been an emotional roller coaster. When things just get really bad how do you deal with it?
A lot of times I turn on music that reminds me of him and just have a good cry.
When I feel like I just can't handle it anymore I sometimes go for a drive down country roads, it gives me a sense of peace. My cousin and I used to take rides down country roads if we wanted to just get away from everyone for a little bit, so it makes me feel good to do that.
Other times when I just dont want to think about it at all, I get busy cleaning or try to find a good movie to watch to keep my mind occupied.
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I deal with it different ways. Some days I just feel like a good cry is all I need. I also find the thing that helps me the most is I have notebook that I call my Leah notebook. In this notebook I just spill my hurt out to her. About everything that is on mind to with her or her situation that we are dealing with. I find that this really helps me. I feel like I am talking to her. It feels really personal between me and her.
Leah Justine "GONE BUT NEVER EVER FORGOTTEN"
Mom to 3 Beautiful Girls
Shayla Maria (17)
Leah Justine (Forever 7)
Alicia Alessandra (1)
I didn't know how to deal with it after Eliza died and struggled for over a year... and now I still don't know how to deal but time has made it easier for me and I don't struggle quite as much.
I developmened this incredible fear of death after Eliza died and for the first year its all I could think about.. death and how scared I was of it. I would cry and cry because I didn't want to die.. or my kids to die. I would be overcome with this huge amount of sadness when I thought of death.. death totally over came me and I couldn't get out of it.. I didn't know how to deal. Like I said its been almost 4 years now and the only way I have delt with it is.. time. Thier are still days when I lay down for a nap or bedtime and my mind wanders and I feel that sadness all over again.. luckily now it goes away though and im not in a constant depression.
I don't really know how to deal with it. Right now, like JIAs said, I have a huge fear of death. Every time I hear the phone ring my mind jumps to the worst case scenario. I'm terrified everyone I love is going to die. The only way I've dealt with it so far is crying. After the tears I'm just numb... I don't feel anything. I'm just empty right now.
__________________ RIP Grammie (06/24/35 - 07/25/06) and Grampie (08/18/26 - 07/26/06). I love you both and I miss you so much...