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  #1  
October 18th, 2006, 08:25 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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I've been participating with the local Wiccan group here since about the end of July or so and I was glad to be a part of a group (I've always been semi-solitary... meaning the only person I've worked with was my husband)... but now that I've experienced what its like to work with a group (wednesday night classes every week, and I've celebrated two sabbats with them), I really dont like it. Call me selfish, but I guess I just like to do things MY way, especially when it comes to my personal spirituality.

I also dont like the rules that tend to come with working with a group... and when I challenge those rules (I'm a very outspoken person and love to debate) I get these looks like I just killed someone or something, lol. Not only that, but this group is very much for "beginners". The wednesday classes are incredibly boring to me because, frankly its stuff I already know. I'm not a genius or anything... but I've been doing this longer than the "101" stage. And I really dont think I can contribute much to the group... because everytime I do, I get the feeling that I'm coming off as a "know-it-all"... which thats not what I'm trying to do. Ugh.

Also, some of the members just dont understand that sometimes I just dont feel like going to wednesday night class. One of them always asks me a million questions on why I dont want to come and why my husband never comes (my husband prefers to practice alone or with me)... which bothers me because I feel like he's doing the whole guilt trip thing. I hate that.

Anyways, I've decided not to go to the classes anymore. I might attend some of their special functions (it was fun making pentacles together, and I know they plan on making wands together too... which would be great because I lost my wand ), and I might go to some of the rituals... but I dont think I'm going to be an active member anymore. Has anyone else ever experienced this?
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  #2  
October 18th, 2006, 09:28 PM
irishxrose
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Aw, I'm sorry hun.

This is the reason why I prefer to be solitary. I mean, I'd love to do rituals with a group, but I don't like having rules placed on me when it comes to my spirituality. I'm just like you, pretty much. I haven't actually exprienced a coven or a group, because I know it's not for me. I hope everything turns out okay!
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  #3  
October 18th, 2006, 10:23 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Everything will be fine now that I'm not an active member anymore, lol. What made me keep coming to the group was basically being a part of the community, ya know? But I'm not really enjoying it so its becoming more of a hassle than anything else. The downside though is that I always feel really crappy when I tell them I dont want to come, lol.

Anyways, thanks for the reply!
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  #4  
October 20th, 2006, 12:20 AM
Super Mommy
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Location: Overland Park, Kansas
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I'm sorry it's being difficult. Religion is our own. The group interaction may be great for you, but if practicing together is bringing you down, you won't be able to thrive on your own. No one will think less of you for doing what you need to do to be the best you can be. Best of luck
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  #5  
October 20th, 2006, 06:21 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Thanks. Yeah, I agree. Tried the group thing, but in the end I guess I'm a solitary kind of gal (when it comes to my spirituality, that is...).
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  #6  
October 21st, 2006, 09:11 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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What about looking into other groups or covens? I've experience several different kinds of groups and they all have a very different flavor. Some you might connect with, others you won't. It took many years before I found my spiritual "family." Practicing alone might just be your thing, but I'd encourage you to keep looking before you give on groups altogether. Finding a group that you connect with can be a powerful and inspiring experience.
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  #7  
October 21st, 2006, 11:33 AM
Super Mommy
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Quote:
What about looking into other groups or covens? I've experience several different kinds of groups and they all have a very different flavor. Some you might connect with, others you won't. It took many years before I found my spiritual "family." Practicing alone might just be your thing, but I'd encourage you to keep looking before you give on groups altogether. Finding a group that you connect with can be a powerful and inspiring experience.[/b]
Great advice. Other groups may work well, even if this particular one didn't. So don't give up hope.
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  #8  
October 21st, 2006, 11:34 AM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Yeah, I havent given up on groups I guess... just this one. lol. Since I'll be homeschooling, I do hope I can find a good spiritual group/spiral scouts group/etc so my kids arent only around us all the time and can be around others. So I do really hope I can find a good group. Probably wont while we're living in Hawaii though.

And I did enjoy the group-ritual experience... I had never practiced with a group before, so that was cool... I just dont like the rules that come with a group environment, ya know? I dont like rules being placed on my spirituality. And it can get a little annoying sometimes because the group seems to have the attitude that practically everything written in a book must be true *sigh*. And they also use books and authors that I'm not too keen on. :-/

I guess I'm just really individual when it comes to spirituality, lol. My husband and I can work together no problem... and while we dont agree on EVERYTHING (how boring would that be?), we agree on most things and work well together.

But like I said... for my kids' sake, I do hope I eventually find a good group that they can socialize in. Probably SpiralScouts... but we'll see. Thanks for the reply!
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  #9  
October 21st, 2006, 11:38 AM
Super Mommy
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I agree. Every group/coven needs structure, but rule for rule strictness is ridiculous. I don't see how you are supposed to grow if everything is by the book. Besides, what book? There are only about a million out there and taking bits and peices from each one is what gives you a better understanding (in my opinion) of everything. It allows your mind to expand and grow.

I hope you find a group that works well for you If not, solitary is great. I myself am solitary.
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  #10  
October 21st, 2006, 11:45 AM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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I totally agree about the book thing!

They're using the book "The Apprentice's Guide to Wizardry" (I think thats the title) by Oberon Zell Ravenheart. It's very... oh... Harry Potter-ish. Dont get me wrong, there's SOME good information in there and I'm sure I can learn a few things about magic... but its very beginner (its actually written for teens), and I doubt I'll find anything to really further my spirituality in it. It mainly focuses on magical techniques. But I've definitely seen some things in there that I disagreed with (there was a section where he proceeds to warn the reader to "avoid Satanists at all costs" and yadda yadda... which I found annoying... considering that I know several Satanists who are great people). But yeah, some of the members (mainly the lay-leader of the group) puts pretty much 100% faith into the book. :-/
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  #11  
October 22nd, 2006, 01:04 AM
Paganmommie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was with a group a couple of years ago and got involved with one of the members, i ended breaking up with him and wasnt invitied back to any gatherings or meeting becouse of it.


Im done with groups for a very long time
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  #12  
October 22nd, 2006, 11:36 AM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Oh man! That sucks! Sorry to hear about that. :-S
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