We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I think some of you are in this sort of relationship, where you're with both a man and a woman. How did you approach SO about this? I'm starting to feel like I'll lose my mind if I can't explore my attraction to women - which isn't really the only issue, because I wouldn't even be HAVING this issue if I were 100% happy with my partner. And, quite frankly, I'm not. I do care a lot for my husband, but I just don't really see our relationship going anywhere. I feel like we reached our zenith within the first year-and-a-half, and we've been together for almost four years. I'm trying to save our marriage, and I'm wondering if having an open relationship would help.
I don't really have any experiences with open relationships. So, I can only offer what I think might work. I would just try to be as open and honest with how you're feeling. Maybe he'll get a better understand of how you've been feeling, rather than sugar coating things to save feelings from being hurt. Like i said in the past, in the long run it just hurts things, because eventually it'll reach a boiling point.
There's one thing I'd like to mention, though. While it's great to experiment, especially if everyone involved if willing and happy to oblige, but do you think bringing in another person will fix what you're unhappy about with your husband? Are you sure it won't just shift your attention? And what you're unhappy with him is what's causing problems in the relationship, right? I understand that you're trying to save your marriage and I can't pretend to know the inner workings of your relationship, but it's something to consider about.
In any case, I hope all goes well. Maybe you'll find that he's a lot more open about it than you think?
I am sorry you feel this way.
Many of us, are sometimes in the same situation. Especially if you're barely discovering this side to yourself.
I think you should be honest with him. Tell him how you're feeling. Reassure him that you have no intention to leave him, but that you have to figure yourself out as a human being.
If he's not into that whole 'open relationship' thing, maybe suggest a threesome...or encourage him to ask questions about what's going on in your mind.
I know men can be very territorial, and might feel threatened if someone else comes into the relationship.
Just talk to him. Being honest will be better in the long run, than you keeping this to yourself for years to come.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this. I can understand why you'd be thinking about an open relationship - at the basic level, it seems like the perfect compromise... you can explore that side of your sexuality, without having to leave your husband & deal with all the drama that can cause.
I think all you can do is talk to your husband, make him realise how you are feeling, and that you're almost at make-or-break with him. To be honest, I don't think having an open relationship will make you any happier with your husband, or your marriage... and from what you've said on here, I think that if you were to start a relationship with a woman, it would just make you realise even more, how unhappy you are in your marriage. Straw that breaks the camels back & all that!!!!
I'm really sorry you're so confused - it must be REALLY hard... I've always thought I was lucky, being able to explore my sexuality without being attatched, in the way that a LOT of the ladies on here (and other forums i visit) are.... I wish there was quick fix for you (((hugs)))
I think you have to approach it as if there's two separate issues. Sit him down and address the issues that you feel your relationship together has. Then you let him know you're attracted to women. Let him know that even if everything were tip top you'd still be attracted to women so he shouldn't view that as a negative against him just an additional thing to work through as a family.