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  #1  
February 23rd, 2009, 10:02 PM
Newbies
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1
I found this site while searching around the web. I feel that many of you can relate and I just felt I needed to write, and needed to put my thoughts out there, somewhere...

I'm not doing very well. That's probably an understatement. I had an ectopic pregnancy late November of 08. My husband and I just recently married in June of 08. We both want a family and decided to try soon after my birthday in October. I found out I was pregnant about a week before thanksgiving. I was excited and so was my husband...but I felt something wasn't right and so we didn't really tell anyone, just in case. The day after thanksgiving (the same day my coworker went into labor) I found out that it was ectopic. They had done days worth of blood tests and ultrasounds. That day I went in and had surgery. The surgery itself went well, didn't lose my tube, though I do have a pretty massive scar from it. That's the basic story...

It has torn me apart inside and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm weighing other people down when I'm upset and need to talk. My husband tries to be understanding but he looks so upset when he sees me bothered by all of this. Most of my family doesn't even know about this besides basically my mom, dad, brother and grandparents. I'm afraid to go to family gatherings because people will ask when we're going to have babies. I don't want to go get my hair cut because my hair stylist is pregnant. I missed one of my oldest friend's baby shower because I knew I couldn't handle it. We live in a fairly rural area and there aren't really any support groups around. I don't know why I don't want my extended family to know, it just feels so private for some reason.

Has anyone else had trouble finding people to help them through this? Can anyone help or is this a more individual journey? I've been thinking about getting a memorial tattoo of an extinguished candle, hoping that by making it a real physical thing it will help in some way, though I already went through so much pain and healing from the surgery I'm not sure why I think it would help. Well, don't know what else to say. My thoughts go out to all of you who have experienced any losses.
~K
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  #2  
February 25th, 2009, 07:32 PM
Newbies
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 6
I'm sorry for your lose. I just had an ectopic pregnancy this weekend. Although all my friends have been supportive, none of them have been through this so its been kind of hard for me to fully express myself to them. I dont have any answers for you... but I guess talking about it with people who have been through it is a step in the right direction.


Quote:
I found this site while searching around the web. I feel that many of you can relate and I just felt I needed to write, and needed to put my thoughts out there, somewhere...

I'm not doing very well. That's probably an understatement. I had an ectopic pregnancy late November of 08. My husband and I just recently married in June of 08. We both want a family and decided to try soon after my birthday in October. I found out I was pregnant about a week before thanksgiving. I was excited and so was my husband...but I felt something wasn't right and so we didn't really tell anyone, just in case. The day after thanksgiving (the same day my coworker went into labor) I found out that it was ectopic. They had done days worth of blood tests and ultrasounds. That day I went in and had surgery. The surgery itself went well, didn't lose my tube, though I do have a pretty massive scar from it. That's the basic story...

It has torn me apart inside and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm weighing other people down when I'm upset and need to talk. My husband tries to be understanding but he looks so upset when he sees me bothered by all of this. Most of my family doesn't even know about this besides basically my mom, dad, brother and grandparents. I'm afraid to go to family gatherings because people will ask when we're going to have babies. I don't want to go get my hair cut because my hair stylist is pregnant. I missed one of my oldest friend's baby shower because I knew I couldn't handle it. We live in a fairly rural area and there aren't really any support groups around. I don't know why I don't want my extended family to know, it just feels so private for some reason.

Has anyone else had trouble finding people to help them through this? Can anyone help or is this a more individual journey? I've been thinking about getting a memorial tattoo of an extinguished candle, hoping that by making it a real physical thing it will help in some way, though I already went through so much pain and healing from the surgery I'm not sure why I think it would help. Well, don't know what else to say. My thoughts go out to all of you who have experienced any losses.
~K[/b]
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