[YvonneO]

Hello everyone -
From advice from my cousin's wife she told me this would be a good idea to start the healing process. I've never been on a message board so please forgive me if I do this incorrectly. I'm 25 years old and was pregnant with my 1st child. I found out last week thrusday. I was having really bad pain on my left side and was bleeding. I knew that was not normal so I went to the hospital Saturday afternoon. I found out that I was having an ectopic pregnancy. I went into surgery and when I woke up I was told that they could not save my left tube. I always thought that I could never get pregnant because I never had it happen to me like most of my friends. Although I was scared when I found out and I was happy because something I never thought would happen to me finally happened. Before I even had a chance to digest it all, I lost my child and my tube. I know its okay to grieve, but I don't know how. I feel defective and so hurt. Now the thought of possibly never having children is even more depressing. Not sure where to turn. Part of me is so angry because I see tons of people get pregnant and have kids that dont even want to have children... why me?

[~*Kixs*~]

I am sorry for your loss (((HUGS)))

I have had 2 natural m/c and 1 ectopic pg (Oct 07...the story is a fe threads down). Having a m/c is sad enough but I found I was a lot more depressed after my ectopic. I also lost my tube...but I lost my right one. I felt very incomplete after my surgery. I lost my baby and part of myself. I was very angry! And I was very guilty feeling that I had 'chosen' to have surgery to remove my child so that I could live...I was bleeding internally.

I was so worried about not being able to have children...like you. I accidently became pg with my son before I had my 1st AF after surgery.

Even though you are morning the loss of your child please know that there is still hope. And as far as healing...that comes with time...lots and lots of time. Just take each day as it comes and let yourself feel whatever it is you do. It is ok to be angry, it is ok to be sad, it is even ok to have a good day and be happy!

Please PM me if you need someone to talk to or just vent to. I will do my best to listen.