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On September 20 & 22, I got two positive pregnancy tests! The pregnancy was very much unplanned, so we were both very surprised & shocked, but pretty quickly came around to the idea. On September 23, my period arrived. I was sad, but just presumed I'd had a chemical pregnancy, and started getting on with life.
On October 4, I did another pregnancy test, just to confirm I wasn't pregnant - but you can imagine my shock when I got a positive result! I then did three more tests that day 'just to check' that it wasn't a fluke. But it wasn't. Over three days infact, I had SIX very positive tests! I told my boyfriend, and we were both very surprised, but quite pleasantly this time!
I contacted my m/w and she was excited for me. She came over & gave me a form for blood tests & to have an u/s. The radiology place managed to get me in later that afternoon, however when they did the scan they couldn't see anything. They put it down to me not being very far along (5w4d at that stage). My beta hcg came back at 330, which I knew wasn't really as high as it should be for how far along I was, but my m/w reassured me that it was fine.
A week later I had another beta hcg - the number came back at 1150. I also had another u/s - this time at 6w5d, and still, they couldn't see anything. At that u/s I had an impending sense of doom. The radiographer spoke to her boss & they decided I should have more beta hcg, and then another u/s when my levels got to 2000. My m/w rang me and relayed the same information back to me. I was feeling pretty disheartened by it all. I knew that at 6w5d, something should have been picked up - especially on the vaginal u/s.
I didn't know whether I was 'really' pregnant, or what was happening, and spent most of my time stressing about that... My boyfriend was really supportive, and very positive about it all... Toward the end we'd begun discussing what we'd need to buy for two young children (my daughter is 1 on friday)... and we begun discussing names, it was quite exciting!
I had beta hcg done last monday, wednesday & friday. The monday results had the hcg going up 'normally', the wednesday results however, had it only going up by 70, over 2 days. My doctor called me in and told me he thought I was miscarrying, especially as i'd had some bleeding the previous evening - though only once, when wiping & then it disappeared.
The whole reason the dr wanted me to see him was to discuss getting an Anti-D shot (i'm rh-), he referred me to the acute gyne assessment clinic at the hospital. IMMEDIATELY.
Friday night I was up at the hospital 5.30-9.15. I had a blood test (beta hcg), and later when I finally saw the doctor, he informed me the number had started going down, though only a little - and that he was worried I had an ectopic pregnancy. I figured that couldn't be the case, because i'd had NO pain at all! He told me to come back in 9am Saturday morning, for an u/s
9am Saturday morning I arrive at hospital with my boyfriend, 10.30 they take me for my u/s - which again shows NOTHING either abdominally or vaginally. I was told to wait and the doctor would talk to me. around 1pm the doctor FINALLY came through, and he was very abrupt, straight to the point - and quite incompassionate! He told me that it looked as though I had an ectopic, due to the fact they couldn't see anything via u/s, my hcg levels weren't dropping significantly, and my cervix was very tightly shut. He vaguely mentioned the two ways to treat an ectopic pregnancy, and then told me to come in at 9am on Sunday morning for another beta hcg, and if the number hadn't dropped significantly, I would be having surgery that afternoon for an ectopic pregnancy.
I still didn't believe it was ectopic. I had no pain... Surely they'd have seen SOMETHING on the u/s. But then I KNEW at the same time that something was going on.
That night i dreamt my levels had increased.
9am Sunday morning I'm back at the hospital, get another beta hcg. 3 hours later the nurse comes in & informs me that my beta hcg levels have.. yeap - gone UP, and the doctors were talking & deciding on the best course of action for me. They would be in soon to talk to me. An hour later the doctor comes in & takes me to a room, where she tells me that I have an ectopic pregnancy - more accurately a 'pregnancy of unknown location'. She discussed the options for treatment, but I opted for surgery.
The past month had been such an up and down time for me, that I really knew I was getting to the end of what I could cope with - I needed it to be 'over' as fast as possible, to save my sanity. I'm not sure if that was selfish or not, but I don't think I could have handled the stringent monitoring i'd have needed if I'd had the medication, or the risk of it not working. Especially with Gaby's 1st birthday coming up. I didn't want to be in hospital on her birthday.
They put an IV in & did what they had to, then I was transferred to a room on the ward. I got in contact with my b/f (he was at work), and my parents to let them know. By the time my boyfriend had finished work, he probably would have had to wait around for ages, so he said he'd go home & do a couple of jobs, then come back in... Just as my parents were leaving my Grandmas husband arrived... So no one came in immediately, but I didn't really mind, i knew it'd be AFTER that I would need the company.
They came in and told me they were ready, so I quickly text my Mum & boyfriend - I missed my Mum/Sister/Gaby by 3 minutes! I guess that must have been 4pm or therebouts.
By the time I was taken into theatre it was around 4.30 - then they faffed around waiting for the surgeon to actually arrive! I remember looking at the clock in recover & it was 6.15pm... So the operation I'm guessing took around 60 minutes?
The nurse told me that they'd found the pregnancy in my right tube - but had sadly had to remove the tube as well, because the pregnancy was so big. I didn't really take any of that in.
I remember hearing the phone ringing, and it was someone asking how I was, and when I'd be back up... It was my boyfriend (well, the nurse ringing on his behalf). The first familiar face I saw when they took me back up to the ward was his - and he didn't leave my side until I went home the following morning!
The evening of my operation, I was pretty doped up, and don't have much recollection of things...
However Monday morning when I woke up, things started hitting me pretty hard & I spent a lot of the morning crying in Kai's arms... We were both grieving for.. well, our baby, what could have been... It was hard for me to hear him crying, but at the same time, it was very refreshing (My previous losses, my ex's never showed any real emotion about our losses, and that made me feel very alone).
Around 9am the doctor said I could go home in an hour, and at 10am my Mum arrived with Gaby - it was so lovely seeing Gaby, I'd missed her so much. But she knew something was up, she was very shy, and quite clingy with my Mum. That made me a little sad.
So I sit here now, on Tuesday morning - home alone.. My friend has Gaby for the day, everyone else is at work or college. I don't mind the peace & quiet.. but I know that in awhile it'll hit me again, and I'm going to be yearning for company - just as well Kai is coming over!