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  #1  
April 9th, 2008, 04:05 PM
ilovemy3wikids
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I am on another mommy board and there is a debate spot and they all have bashed me to the ground I am the only one who homeschools on there and I have been talking to these women since before I was pregant and now this. They truely have hurt me. They have all basically said anyone who homeschools is horrible and ruining their kids lives
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  #2  
April 9th, 2008, 04:26 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
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I'm sorry. Some people are really clueless and rude.
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  #3  
April 9th, 2008, 04:38 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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That is really sad! I'm sorry. I have a friend who I was friends with in college and she married my DH's best friend around the time we got married, have had kids around the same time, etc. and she has quite a few times cut me down for our homeschooling choices. I finally called her on it and she hasn't done it since, but before I said anything, it always made me so frustrated, hurt and angry. She especially would do it to people who were curious and wanted to know honest questions about homeschooling. It seemed that she didn't anyone to do what I was or to validate my decision in the least. People are very insensitive. Thinking that only their way is right or that if you do it another way, that some how says they are a bad parent. It has to do with their insecurities. I love JM, but since I have been homeschooling more and more I actually don't go on any of my old playgroups or anything else because I get a lot of negative comments. Unless it is the natural birth board- I still lurk there for fun. Anyway, I know how it feels.
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  #4  
April 9th, 2008, 04:42 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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Location: San Antonio TX
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And don't forget: people tend to fight the hardest against that which they don't understand or threatens their own choices. I have had many people accuse me of judging them because they don't homeschool or have home births or they vaccinate their kids or they circumcise their boys. The thing is, I don't care what other people do. I make the choices I do because they are the right choices for our family. As far as I am concerned, what I do have absolutely no bearing on what they do. I find the people who fight the hardest and cut down the most are the ones who are NOT secure in their decision to do x (opposite what I do).
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  #5  
April 9th, 2008, 04:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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well said butter!!!!!
ITA!
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  #6  
April 9th, 2008, 04:48 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That sounds really nasty. I know how you can get attached to your expecting group, but honestly they don't sound worth it.
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  #7  
April 9th, 2008, 04:56 PM
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That's no good. Ive hung out here mostly as well- I don't even want to give ppl the opportunity.
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  #8  
April 9th, 2008, 06:34 PM
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how horrible! I am sorry that they are so narrowminded and opinionated! I am not homeschooling until next year - but am already getting the comments. You can tell in about 3 seconds which "side" people are on. Too bad they dont realize that it is every parents job to be on their child/childrens side and do what is best for them!
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  #9  
April 9th, 2008, 07:24 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sorry you had a bad experience. I just was part of a homeschooling debate on another forum. I think I held my own pretty well. I got support from some unusual places. Fight the good fight and know that you are doing the best thing. You don't have to defend it. If you want to read the debate, here is the link: http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...p;hl=homeschool

I am The Eunuch Maker (my fantasy football team).
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  #10  
April 10th, 2008, 12:39 AM
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Quote:
Sorry you had a bad experience. I just was part of a homeschooling debate on another forum. I think I held my own pretty well. I got support from some unusual places. Fight the good fight and know that you are doing the best thing. You don't have to defend it. If you want to read the debate, here is the link: http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...p;hl=homeschool

I am The Eunuch Maker (my fantasy football team).[/b]

That was fun, interesting and maddening to read. I did read it all, I still get surprised sometimes by the ignorance of people. Then again, I guess I guess why should I be now? I think you held your own very well, had great come backs and examples. Glad there were some supportive people, makes me happy to see that not everyone comes out of ps without the ability to think outside the box.
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  #11  
April 10th, 2008, 03:46 AM
Momma Jo's Avatar Monsters Ed
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Location: South Africa
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Hugs Tami, one thing I can say, is that you have inspired me to seriously consider home schooling. The "other forum" moms just aren't educated enough and refuse to see the pro's (which, since speaking to you, totally outweigh the cons).

Thats all I have to say to them
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  #12  
April 10th, 2008, 04:24 AM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for the link Farmer's Wife, whooo! I just read all 7 pages of it!
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  #13  
April 10th, 2008, 04:45 AM
grunig's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have a group that I have been a part of for 7 years. We were originally an expecting club. I feel completely disconnected from them now. We don't agree on a lot of subjects, a lot of the moms are very liberal, while I am quite a conservative. Anyway I just wanted to say I share your pain bc I have been hurt on a few occasions by them, a very similar situation.
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  #14  
April 10th, 2008, 06:38 AM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I haven't had a chance to go through all of the responses, so I might be repeating something.

What you need to understand to get past this hurt, and any hurt that others may try to cause in the future, is that your peace with homeschooling has to come from within. If you are truely happy and content with what you are doing and believe in it with all of your heart, then you won't have to worry what anyone else says or thinks about it. It wouldn't matter if you were absolutely the only person in the world doing it...it just wouldn't matter. You need to put yourself in the moment that you are in and cling to that. Don't think about ten years, five years, or even one year from now. You focus on where you are RIGHT NOW with your children and cling to those things that you know that you know that you are doing right with them. Don't seek approval from others...there's not enough out there to give you the peace equal to what you can find right there within yourself!!!
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  #15  
April 10th, 2008, 06:45 AM
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I have to give a big ol' to Sherri! Very well said, Sister!
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  #16  
April 10th, 2008, 07:17 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I also want to chime in with Shery! Awesome post. Take that to heart.
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  #17  
April 10th, 2008, 08:12 AM
ilovemy3wikids
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Thanks Shery and everyone else. I guess it just hurt cause I thought of these women as my friends and so many of them are just bashing homeschooling to the ground. I am very happy with what I'm doing, I guess it's when I write back to what they post they just bash it all instead of being able to see my side of it. I'm not mad they send their kids to public, I didn't bash them for that so I don't get why they are having to bash everything I say about homeschooling.
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  #18  
April 10th, 2008, 08:51 AM
Jenneve's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well said, Sherri. I completely agree. Although, when those you see as friends criticize you for your parenting decisions it can hurt. I understand that. For myself, though, I don't seek validation from anyone. I know that what dh and I decide for our family is the right decision for us and no one else's opinion matters. If they don't agree with something we're doing with our kids, that's their problem, not mine. I think people tend to feel threatened by what's different, especially when it goes against what they are doing (ie homeschool vs. public school). As it says in the Bible, (paraphrasing here) don't worry about the speck in someone else's eye when you have a plank in your own. Too often that's exactly what people do. Always worried about someone else's business when they have issues of their own to work out.
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  #19  
April 10th, 2008, 11:55 AM
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Although they are your friends a lot of people do not realize how insensitive or defensive they are when it comes to parenting choices.
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  #20  
April 10th, 2008, 12:06 PM
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Quote:
I have a group that I have been a part of for 7 years. We were originally an expecting club. I feel completely disconnected from them now. We don't agree on a lot of subjects, a lot of the moms are very liberal, while I am quite a conservative. Anyway I just wanted to say I share your pain bc I have been hurt on a few occasions by them, a very similar situation. [/b]

This is exactly my experience with another board as well- we were all in the same expecting group and now with a few new people added in, I'm definitely in the minority. There is one other HSing mom on there- but I think she gave up somewhere in the middle of the year and will send her son to public this fall. I ask questions, leave comments, and people tend to ignore them. I think part of it though is because there are a lot of teachers on the board. IDK
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