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  #1  
June 5th, 2009, 10:00 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Milwaukee
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Today someone told me that HS kids are beening shelterd and have a lack of socialization.
I tried to tell her why thats not true, she had her mind made up.
What kinds of activities do you guys do with your kids th where they can spend time with other kids? Because I don't want mine going to PS.
What do you say to people when they think that PS is the only way that kids can be social with a variety of differnt kinds of people.
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  #2  
June 5th, 2009, 10:42 PM
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Posts: 331
A lot of people who faithfully send their children to public school do not do the research on homeschoolers so they know nothing about them. Notice I said " a lot", but not all. This way I won't get my behind jumped on. I get so tired of hearing about the "S" word when it comes to homeschoolers. I bet that if that same person walked into a public school classroom of children talking out loud, the first words that they would hear come out of the teacher's mouth is....."Class, get quiet, we are not here to socialize" And as far as being able to interact with a variety of different kinds of people in a public school..... hmmm last time my girls were in a public school they were only allowed to be in a classroom with children of the same age whether they liked them or not. My girls attend church dances, have play dates, go to family and friend visits with children of all ages, and the list can go on and on. Do most of the people that even ask the question about socialization even know the meaning of it? I wonder. And I won't even get started on homeschoolers living sheltered lives! This reply would be way too long. Ok I am done ranting. That "S" word just always gets the better of me.
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  #3  
June 6th, 2009, 04:31 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: belfast, northern ireland
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Socialisation is one of my reasons for home educating. I dont believe childnre get enough time just to be kids now, relax, hang out with their friends and pursue their interests.
At the moment my boys are age 4 and 10 months. For the baby family is enough socialisation. For the older one it is bit difficult because he isnt allowed to participate in any of the after school activities until he is old enough for Primary 1 this fall, and unfortunatley there is only one other boy the same age as him in our estate, who has very extreme behavioural issues, which unfortunatley my son was imitating, so we've had to limit contact for a bit. He does play with older children and occasionally meet up with other home ed children but our options are limited at the moment.
However once he is old enough for school, there are all sorts of options, football, scouts, boys brigade, an afterschools club in the community centre etc... There are all sorts of ways parents can provide opportunites for socialsation, including just opening up the house to the neighbourhood kids.
I have to wonder if all these people think children do not socialise at all in the summertime?
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  #4  
June 6th, 2009, 05:50 AM
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My kids still play with the neighborhood (public school kids) every day after school. They also go to a homeschool co-op (which resembles a regular school day- they even eat in the cafeteria and have gym class, etc..) once a week. They even have a "prom" event open to all teens (not just seniors.) Z Outside of that, we have playdates, family gatherings, church groups, etc.. They get as much socialization as anyone else. Only I think it's much better than when they were in public school. They are not faced with the same level of peer pressure or negative influences that they had to face there. They are more relaxed and get to be KIDS for much longer than if they were in an institutional environment.
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  #5  
June 6th, 2009, 06:36 AM
roving_gypsy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think its very important to take your kids out and do activities, with you and on their own! At this point my son is currently in Karate 4 days a week. He just completed a year of Kindergarden in PS and for the last half of the year I placed him in after school karate where the bus picked him up and took him there untill 6pm. I did this because he didn't have much time at all to socialize with other kids at school. 90% of the day was guided class play/work and following instructions, the only time he was able to socialize was on the playground and afterschool. so thats why I chose that program. I think that next year I will continue the afterschool program, so I can drop him off at 2:30 at Karate and he can spend the afternoon with friends in a safe area where they can do karate, play, and socialize. But I also plan to find other local homeschooling parents so that we can take trips together to go to the museums and do activities. There is a ton to do around here so it would be great to get out in a group and take advantage of it all , the sad thing is the schools don't even take advanatage of the local wildlife areas around here because of lack of funding!!! But also my kids all take turns traveling up to my parents farm, my oldest LOVES it and he gets a chance to make use of his spanish up there (some of the workers at the farm are hispanic). I don't think my son will be lacking in any socialization because he no longer attends PS. I think he will have so much more available to him!!
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  #6  
June 6th, 2009, 09:09 AM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 61,640
Quote:
Originally Posted by broxi3781 View Post
Socialisation is one of my reasons for home educating. I dont believe childnre get enough time just to be kids now, relax, hang out with their friends and pursue their interests.
At the moment my boys are age 4 and 10 months. For the baby family is enough socialisation. For the older one it is bit difficult because he isnt allowed to participate in any of the after school activities until he is old enough for Primary 1 this fall, and unfortunatley there is only one other boy the same age as him in our estate, who has very extreme behavioural issues, which unfortunatley my son was imitating, so we've had to limit contact for a bit. He does play with older children and occasionally meet up with other home ed children but our options are limited at the moment.
However once he is old enough for school, there are all sorts of options, football, scouts, boys brigade, an afterschools club in the community centre etc... There are all sorts of ways parents can provide opportunites for socialsation, including just opening up the house to the neighbourhood kids.
I have to wonder if all these people think children do not socialise at all in the summertime?
I totally agree. I don't think kids get to be kids anymore. I want my kids to enjoy their childhood. It goes by so fast.
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  #7  
June 6th, 2009, 10:45 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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Ani does Girl Scouts and Cameron will be in Cub Scouts in the fall. They've taken various classes. They play with other kids in totally unstructured sorts of ways. IMO, that (unstructured play) is where true socialization happens.

The thing is, there ARE weird homeschoolers. And, there are weird public schoolers. Some of those weird ones would be weird no matter where they were educated. My brother was a total geek/nerd/etc. and he was public schooled. I was a social butterfly and even went to public school dances and I was homeschooled. Different personalities.

If people bring up socialization, I point to my son and daughter and ask if they are not socialized. Of course at that moment they are usually playing with the other person's kids so it's kind of like duh, of course they socialize just fine. But, if someone presses the issue, I just tell them I was homeschooled and they back off immediately and are usually surprised to hear that. I tell them they probably interact often with former homeschoolers, but we'd look silly introducing ourselves by saying "Hi, I'm Heather, formerly homeschooled." We know not to do that because we are perfectly well socialized.
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Last edited by Butter; June 6th, 2009 at 11:12 AM. Reason: I wrote "Ani does Girl" so I had to add Scouts to that lol
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  #8  
June 6th, 2009, 11:06 AM
4boys
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butter View Post

The thing is, there ARE weird homeschoolers. And, there are weird public schoolers. Some of those weird ones would be weird no matter where they were educated.
I completely agree with this. Some kids would be weird or awkward no matter HOW they are schooled or "socialized". It bugs me that more people don't realize this.

I am one parent on the opposite end of the socialization issue. I honestly don't want my kids socializing with many other kids. We don't do any group activities and we stay at home most of the time. But what about having three brothers, lots of uncles around the farm yard and an aunt, uncle and cousin living next door doesn't count as socializing?? I have been complimented many times when we go places like the doctor or dentist office by the receptionist at how well behaved, independent and well-adjusted my kids are. If anyone ever asks me the social question, I just do the same as Butter; point to my kids and ask them if they see a problem. Because obviously there isn't one.

That said, my kids are still quite young. I do want them to have friends and such when they are older but right now I don't think it is as important as everyone seems to think it should be.
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  #9  
June 6th, 2009, 08:01 PM
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Thank you ladies so much!!!
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  #10  
June 6th, 2009, 09:07 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4boys View Post
I completely agree with this. Some kids would be weird or awkward no matter HOW they are schooled or "socialized". It bugs me that more people don't realize this.

I am one parent on the opposite end of the socialization issue. I honestly don't want my kids socializing with many other kids. We don't do any group activities and we stay at home most of the time. But what about having three brothers, lots of uncles around the farm yard and an aunt, uncle and cousin living next door doesn't count as socializing?? I have been complimented many times when we go places like the doctor or dentist office by the receptionist at how well behaved, independent and well-adjusted my kids are. If anyone ever asks me the social question, I just do the same as Butter; point to my kids and ask them if they see a problem. Because obviously there isn't one.

That said, my kids are still quite young. I do want them to have friends and such when they are older but right now I don't think it is as important as everyone seems to think it should be.
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  #11  
June 7th, 2009, 08:07 AM
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My kid is a kid that would be unique no matter what school situation he's in and honestly homeschooling has been the best option for that. The Home school kids in his home school group ALWAYS go out of their way to include him even if that means they're playing tag and he's just running around them. We've tried circus arts, and karate. He participated in a summer program, church camp and swimming lessons when he visited my parent house.

This year we are joining the Y. He'll be in Science classes, zoo classes, home school co-op classes. With PS students he'll test out karate again, and try out scouts, summer soccer camp, possibly soccer.

He plays with my friends kids and there neighbors. He has also met a child that goes to his grandparents after school and in the summer right down the road and they play great together.

Even though I think Miguel will have many kids he'll think are friends my hope is that he'll find two or three friends that he really connects too.
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  #12  
June 7th, 2009, 09:12 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Of course some home ed kids were pulled out of regular school because they could not fit in.
After years of being excluded, bullied etc... many of these ones take quite sometime to open up and be able to socialise. But they dont have socialisation problems because they home school, they home school because they have socialisation problems.
Most home ed kids I know are polite well mannered, comfortable with all age groups etc...
but I suppose most have also missed out on some aspects of peer socialisation. I have yet to know a home schooled teen getting pg (I'm sure it must happen but it does seem out of the ordinary) they tend to be less likely to drink, use drugs etc.... but that could partially be down to so many being involved in sports etc... and just having a close family background. Of course I havent a problem with my children not be exposed to so much of this so young. Yes I know it comes in time, but again, I say let them be children first. I think we make kids grow up too fast now.
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  #13  
June 8th, 2009, 02:38 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Australia
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Some people seem to think regular school would 'improve' my kids. Me: "Well my son misses the cut off date for prep anyhow so he wouldn't be going until next year_ if were planing on sending him, which we are not" Them "There is Kindergarten/Day care (Note Kindergarten here is what you call preschool I think) Them "Your daughter would learn to read if you sent her to school" Me "How can a class situation be better then one on one attention?" Them "They have special ways" Me *Sigh* Oh on the social thing, I know my kids are immature, ds especially. So what, I send my daughter to school to be made 'socially normal' IE beaten up/teased until she stops playing at being a horse or a dog or playing with horses and dogs (her favorite games)

On a better note someone else who homeschools joined our church and is coming to our Wed music group. She has a 12, 9 and 5 year olds boys. The eldest has a pet frill neck lizard he brings with him. It sits on his shoulder. At first I thought it was rubber then I saw it move! The kids get to pat her. Very cool.
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  #14  
June 12th, 2009, 09:00 AM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Louisiana
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My children have such deep bonds with the friends they do have. We have time to cultivate those relationships. I like how we can focus on the few we are with instead of a whole classroom. I have also noticed how much lower the effect of peer pressure has been on my children as opposed to myself.

The healthy and unique socialization I have seen because of our homeschooling was one of the biggest surprises to me.
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  #15  
June 13th, 2009, 12:40 PM
~hsingtreehouse~
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My kids have so much more social interaction being homeschooled than they did in ps. They spent hours with the same kids in ps - at home, we meet new people in all walks of life every single day. The best thing, IMO, is that I am right there with the every step of they way so that they can handle those situations with guidance and ease rather than being forced into something they can't handle and having no one to look to.
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