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DH had agreed to homeschool and spent a year helping me plan. Then we told his parents and they had a stroke. In a matter of 36 hours they took him from I think this is what God wants us to do to: I just don't want to do it, they need to experience school.
I have been trying to convince him otherwise since then. We had a "discussion" last night about it and he doesn't believe that the education in the public school system is sub-par. He doesn't believe that they will get a better education at home (even though before he thought that the education they would receive at home would be better). I need something to show him that homeschooled children tend to do better academically than public schooled children. I also need something to show him that they won't suffer because they didn't get the "school experience". He wants them to be able to do things like band and choir and sports and school plays and things of that nature. He thinks that the being with the other children and having that together time is important. Meaning that he thinks they need to spend time with other kids to be well adjusted.
I feel like school is a social enviroment for my DD and she just wants to go there to be with her friends. She actually told me the other day that she didn't like school anymore because she had to do too many papers and she got answers wrong and the teacher had to fix them. I tried to tell him that I think that me being able to teach them in our home and make learning fun that she would want to learn. But dh thinks that if I change they way I teach to the way they learn that later in life once they are working that they won't be able to function properly because they have been catered to their whole life and they will expect everyone to cater to them then as well. Like if I teach them in a way that is best for them now then they will expect it for the rest of their lives.
I want to homeschool for several reasons:
1.) I think that I can give them a better education than the public school system can.
2.) I don't feel like the public schools are good or safe enviroment for my children
3.) I feel like religion is an important part of a well rounded education.
Dh doesn't agree with me about the first two and as for the last one well he thinks I should be doing a religious curriculum after they get home from school.
He doesn't see anything wrong with the quality of education in the PS, he thinks that we both came out of it doing well so it can't be bad.
He has the same theories about the kind of enviroment the PS are as well, that they can't be that bad since both of us came out of them without much harm (in his opinion we came out without harm, I feel like that if I had the advantages of homeschooling that I would be a completely different person.)
See how far the YMCA is from you. They can go to there camps, kids night out, after school programs and sports. Find a home school group ask if they have band and choirs or type in kids choirs (closes city) in google. Look into programs at local museums, preforming art centers, dance studios and music stores.
Our homeschool group has dances, band, theater, enrichment classes in tons of different topics and mom's night out. We go on field trips that other schools go on. He does sports, bowling night, will do cub scouts and art/music class on Saturdays. He really would not be able to do all these things if he was in school.
Remind him that school is from 8:30am - 3:30pm, sports and clubs are about 2 hrs. extra a day and then there is dinner, family time, time with friend, home work
and other things.
Ask him to make a list of all the things he wants them to do and make a calender of events. So he can see all the things they will be able to do.
as said co-ops are a great "school" experience from what i've heard.. year book, dances, different classes taught by different people, and even the cafeteria lunch time...
When my husband changes his mind, from talking to family, i kindly remind him that WE, the only two adults made a decision about the raising of our children and we will at least give our decision a try... i.e. my MIL complains that i never got "fixed" saying we shouldn't have more kids.. and my husband says yeah were done.... (more of a to keep them quite, type of thing) and then in private says to me how another child wouldn't be bad at all... So i nicely let him know that he doesn't have to say anything to mil, and just ask her to keep her opinions to her self... And i really do love my mil.. But this is one subject we differ on..) And dh and I talked about a year ago about homeschooling, i told him how i'd like to try it. saying if our children were ever behind the public school academically i'd send them... And once has dh said he wasn't for the idea after our big conversation. So i kindly reminded him how he agreed it was a good idea, and a good fit for our family. and he stopped saying we couldn't. And after one battle with my MIL of how she knows were going to have as many children as we like, she kept her opinion of homeschooling to her self...
Sorry for the long tangent, but ask him why his parents made him change his mind... I'm guessing they are either one of two things, 1, they don't fully understand homeschooling, I didn't a few years ago, i would have though you were a social outcast and locked in a room if you had been home schooled. or 2, they feel threatened that you arn't willing to do the same as they did. more of a feel like saying they were bad parents for sending him to ps.
I'm sure they'd through in the argument that every ps is different, since this one has bad teachers/ students.. the one next to it won't... same as homeschool every one is different, while one uses a hands on curriculum and the other doesn't, they each to the best for their children and family.
When my dh, goes into the thinking that ps is fine, i kindly remind him we want our children to be better than us, smarter, more successful in life and that fine is not good enough. And if my DH ever wants them in "school" no if and or buts about it.... I've already located and toured, the local private catholic school, and know the tuition fees. I will not send them to the same public school that when my husband said your not teaching me anything, they sent him to a shrink.
I'm sorry that has happened, i know the feeling when you think you have things going in one direction , and then someone's opinion jumps in and it halts things. But do try to remember that his parents are just consrned for your children, and i'm sure they lovingly object.
SAHM to .
Last edited by Nedene; March 2nd, 2010 at 06:57 AM.
I agree about the schedule thing. Think of all the things you want to do, and then try to figure out how to cram that into an evening that involves tired kids, homework, commutes, after school activities, dinner, dishes, baths, and early bedtimes. Who would really be raising your kids? If there are 24 hours in a day, 10 are spent sleeping, 2 are spent eating, 1 is spent driving, 7 are spent at school, and 1 is spent bathing/dressing/undressing, that leaves you only 3 hours for commuting, homework, and after school activities. Your kids will be exhausted, and everyone will be frustrated. When will you have (daily) time for in-depth Bible study (not just a quick bedtime story)? When will you have time to teach life skills? When will they learn how to socialize with all ages/types of people (not just the age peers in a classroom that discourages talking)? Will your dh be around to help after 4:00? If one kid is in a soccer game and another is in a play, how will you juggle it? If a child has a fever, they can't come to school, and they'll fall behind. If a homeschooled child has a fever, so what? If they're well enough to play, they're well enough to do school work. We haven't missed a single day of school this year for illness, that I can remember, yet there were several times when he would've missed if he were in PS.
If all else fails ... tell him you think he's being deceived and that PS today isn't what it used to be. Look at the dress codes even! When I was in school, we were required to have tucked shirts, closed-toe shoes, no tight/revealing clothes, no logos, no torn/dirty clothes ... that stuff is all out the window. Kids wear the trashiest stuff these days!
(1 Cor. 15:33 - NAS) "Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals." and (I Thess 5:22) "abstain from every form of evil." If it's questionable, stay away from it.
That is a lot of the problem with my DH, He doesn't want all of the kids time to be occupied with extracurricular activity. He doesn't want all their time to be occupied with sports or what ever. My oldest will be playing soccer through the Upward organization and he only allowed that because they only practice one hour a week and only have one game a week. He wants them to be able to be with us and spend time as a family. I am trying to make him see that if they are homeschooled that will give us the most family time. That they will be able to participate in more because they won't be in school 7 or 8 hours a day. I am just having trouble helping him see past the fact that they won't be the world's idea of "normal".