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Really frustrated with my child


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  #1  
May 20th, 2010, 09:20 AM
brandimomof2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 2,413
My daughter is being so lazy about HS. We go through this ordeal to get her started on HS everyday. She just doesnt like anything having to do with work. She will not study her spelling words enough,she wines about her worksheets and its such a hassle everyday to get school done. I just dont get what to do. I have told her if she cant work at home she will have to go back to PS. She doesnt want to do that but at the same time doesnt want to do it at home either.

I just have no idea what to do. WE are behind on HS and I am trying to get us through. We are probably going to keep doing math through the summer and then work on special sounds. I just really wanted us to be able to take the summer off. Its just look like we will get to do this.

It just seems nothing is fun for her and everything is a big hassle. I am so frustrated.
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  #2  
May 20th, 2010, 10:17 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Is it the learning style, do you think? Perhaps the curriculum isn't working for her? Like... you said practicing spelling words. Are you using the method where she has a list of words to learn and test each week? Maybe a daily spelling program would be better (like Sequential Spelling, or something hands-on like All About Spelling?). Maybe she's not into the worksheets, either. Yes, some work has to be written, but if the curriculum is primarily in workbook form, she may be getting overwhelmed with it. She might need something hands on or computer based to break up her day. What about breaks? Is she getting plenty of snack/play/relax time between lessons?
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  #3  
May 20th, 2010, 10:29 AM
brandimomof2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 2,413
We are switching to different curriculum next year. I have already decided we were doing sequential spelling for sure. It probably is a lot the worksheets. I get so frustrated. I dont have her do everything on a worksheet. We have worksheets for phonics and math. We wont be doing phonics next year so that should cut out those. Math on the other hand is always going to be worksheet based. We have thought about math u see though.

Right now we are using mostly Abeka and MFW. She does enjoy some of the MFW though.

We are using R&S for english next year,MFW,A reason for writing,Sequential spelling, and still deciding between BJU,Horizons or maybe even Math u See.

Maybe after switching curriculum next year it will be better. I sure hope so. This was our first offical year of HS and its been so frustrating. I have heard the first year always is.
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  #4  
May 20th, 2010, 12:07 PM
PreciousBunz's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 683
Could it be a discipline issue? Would it make a difference if you gave her a consequence at the first sign of her bad attitude?

One thing I learned was that if MY attitude wasn't correct, my children would pick up on it. I would make sure that I was in a good mood, and if she doesn't do as you say or you see a bad attitude starting...Discipline her (whatever that may be for you), right away..the first time..Don't wait until you've given her three chances...or until you're ready to yell.

She'll soon realize that her poor attitude isn't worth it. I've got one who had to learn the hard way to "Do everything without grumbling or complaining". LOL
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  #5  
May 20th, 2010, 12:24 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Thankfully, my son would rather do school work than breathe (although my younger will almost certainly be the opposite!). All I have to say is "Fine, we won't do school today. Go upstairs and play." He bawls his eyes out and says sorry a million times.

Some kids need a lot of parent led discipline and some don't. I agree that consequences might help or resolve the issue. (Not looking forward to that with my wild child #2. I'm gonna lose my mind when the hormones start raging in him.)

We're also doing R&S for English. It can be done (mostly) orally, so that'll help. SS can be done either orally or with dry-erase markers. MUS might be a good fit for her, but it's expensive IMO. (Although I'm still considering it.) Not sure about phonics. Until I saw ETC, I'd never imagined using worksheets for phonics. It seems like something that should also be taught orally. I like ETC, though. What are you using, and why will you stop next year? Is she reading well at this point?
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  #6  
May 20th, 2010, 02:32 PM
mom2mande's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The first year I brought my kids home I had some issues basically trying to undo everything the teachers did. My oldest who was going into 5th grade at the time was the toughest. Things are going so much better this year. Hang in there! Maybe try some different curriculum but it could also be a little bit of her testing the waters also to see what she can get away with. My oldest son last year(2nd grade last year) had a horrible time staying on task. I felt like I could never walk away from him otherwise he would immediately lose focus. The 2nd 1/2 of this year I have had to crack down on it and make him realize that there will be consequences if I need to go put something away and I come back to him away from the table playing or something. He has finally caught on. He tries me sometimes but for the most part it's like night and day from last year. He is just very different from my girls who are so independent. They would rather just do what needs to get done and not move until it's completed. Where he would take literally all day to finish his work.
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  #7  
May 20th, 2010, 03:14 PM
PreciousBunz's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2mande View Post
The first year I brought my kids home I had some issues basically trying to undo everything the teachers did. My oldest who was going into 5th grade at the time was the toughest. Things are going so much better this year. Hang in there! Maybe try some different curriculum but it could also be a little bit of her testing the waters also to see what she can get away with. My oldest son last year(2nd grade last year) had a horrible time staying on task. I felt like I could never walk away from him otherwise he would immediately lose focus. The 2nd 1/2 of this year I have had to crack down on it and make him realize that there will be consequences if I need to go put something away and I come back to him away from the table playing or something. He has finally caught on. He tries me sometimes but for the most part it's like night and day from last year. He is just very different from my girls who are so independent. They would rather just do what needs to get done and not move until it's completed. Where he would take literally all day to finish his work.
This is what I went through...bringing them home rather then starting from birth does present some difficulties, disciline wise. The first two months were basically discipline with my older two. they were 6 & 7 when I brought the home.

One mistake I did make was doing "School at home" rather then just incorporating learning into our everyday lives.

With my younger one...we've already started and she has no idea...she signs, can recognize her numbers but more importantly...she listens!! most of the time..LOL
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  #8  
May 20th, 2010, 03:31 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 784
Some of the things we have tried:
File folder games, Lap books, games, reading "living math" books, typing, racing the clock, racing us with work that's at our level, sticker / reward charts, Different curriculum, educational movies, Just reading together, schoocalling it quits after 3 hours (for my sanity), restricting all other activities until the weekend, and extending the school year.
It may just be the age too.
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  #9  
May 21st, 2010, 04:06 PM
Tofu Bacon
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Posts: n/a
Do you think maybe she's just burnt out? Maybe do shorter school days (do math and phonics on separate days), or break up the day by letting her earn extra playtime in between subjects. Or maybe just take a week or two to "de-school" and take some educational day trips, with the trade-off being that she will need to work through the summer.
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  #10  
May 21st, 2010, 07:13 PM
~ Ada ~'s Avatar Zen
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,232
That sounds very much like my seven year old daughter, short attention span, will start teasing her brother while he works, but goes into a crying fit when I send her on a time out threatening to put her back in PS (I've gone as far as to call the call the school). What has worked for me is changing my weekly schedule; where this week we started off with Math, Language Arts, History etc, next week it will be Geography, Social Studies, Reading. With the weather getting nicer, I hold some portions of the classes outside even taking a quick stroll to the park and while swinging working on her plus two factors. I understand your frustration and hope this second year goes better for you both.
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  #11  
May 22nd, 2010, 10:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
I'd say try to make school a family activity. Make sure the 4 yr old is involved too. Go outside and do a read aloud. Then work on a craft together that goes with the story. Maybe make lapbooks, etc... Get a journal and go on nature hikes. Bring a bag to collect leaves, sticks, etc... or a disposable camera for the girls to take pictures. Paint pictures (or spelling words.) Play math games. Draw maps on the driveway with sidewalk chalk. Ditch the worksheets for now- you can save them for a rainy day or something. For now, make a list of your weekly objectives and find playful ways of getting those things done without sitting at a table. Then show lots of excitement and tell the girls to put their shoes on and grab some books/crayons/etc because your'e going outside! :-)
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