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Do other people ever try to teach your kid?


Forum: Homeschooling

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  #1  
June 9th, 2011, 03:07 PM
TaraJo29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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...Or try to "see what they know"?

I have had this happen several times, and I find it really annoying... well, depending on their attitude and how much they are forcing it.

If they are just casually reading a book with the kids and ask them questions about letters or if they can read a word or something, that's fine. But I have had people try to teach them to sound out words. One time, for instance, it was a word that had a "g" in it which sounded like "J" as in "genius." I hadn't gotten to that at the time, and was giving my child phonics lessons. I was trying to get him to remember that "g" said "G" as in "goat." So I found it annoying when the person kept pressing it.

I've also had people quiz my kids on spelling words and press it when they couldn't spell the word. Meanwhile, the word was well beyond my child's grade level. I don't know if I'm being sensitive about this, or if they are actually being butt-inskies (as my mom would say).

I'm just not like that with other people's kids at ALL...

Does this happen to anyone else besides me??
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  #2  
June 9th, 2011, 05:10 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Who are these people?? Where is this happening??

Ive had people be really patronizing with Ellie before....."Do you know what color this is??"...."What a good job you're doing trying to write your name!" Or they speak really slowly and loudly to her as if she can't hear them or doesn't understand English. They see that she's physically disabled and assume that she's mentally challenged too. Aggghh!!!!
Mostly these are people who don't know her well, like church volunteers or store clerks. I don't think what you're describing has ever happend with her sisters but I can't think of a time that the opportunity would have come up or the thought would have even occurred to someone to do so.

I'm sorry. It must be frustrating.
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  #3  
June 9th, 2011, 06:23 PM
Jill0924's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I haven't had that happen, but my kids are still really small, so it may change. My mom does keep telling me to "stop pushing them" which I am not pushing at all, just doing what they are interested in. I think my mom will be my biggest issue as we go through this journey - she really wants me to send the girls to school.
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  #4  
June 10th, 2011, 01:34 PM
kalis's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We have a little friend who is 5 and she tried to 'teach' Thea yesterday while we were at their house, but that was just cute. The 5 year old is homeschooled and it was funny to see the girls playing school together. I think they really will work together sometimes.
Sorry you have people grilling your kids - who knows why?...
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  #5  
June 10th, 2011, 05:01 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Oddly enough, the only one who drives me crazy is dh. He either "teaches" something they already know, something that's way beyond them, or teaches something entirely wrong. He's just trying to be a good dad, but he's not much of a teacher (for little ones) and he has NO patience. I'll give him credit for trying, though. Sometimes he really does a good job, but it's usually a "daddy skill" rather than a "school skill".
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  #6  
June 11th, 2011, 08:15 AM
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We do with friends and family but not to test the children. All our friends also homeschool and education is life for us so it's just the way we interact. Now, I've had a relative start talking to a young one about the alphabet in a way that I don't teach it and all I needed to do was let them know how we do it (and why, if they were curious) so that they could do it too. I don't have anyone that has been pushy about their own differing ways or ideas. It did bother me at one point when a relative would bring up things that they were concerned the children wouldn't learn outside of public school and honestly, that took some work for me at first to humble myself and be able to have a calm dialogue with them about it but it brought us much closer (and some things I was able to explain are certainly taught here, others definitely needed to be added in, others I had to explain that there is a reason we're not doing that at this time).

So when there has been issue, I've found humble communication while trying to presume the best about the person's intentions has worked best for us BUT there are those occasional, random encounters with people that I don't have ongoing relationships with and in that case I may gently say something or just smile and move on and speak to my child later about it if necessary.

I have a couple of relatives (DH included) that teach way over my children's heads at times. A BIL attempted to explain the physics behind sound waves to my 4yo, for instance. It gives us all a good chuckle and you know what, it's kind of amazing what they pick up.
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  #7  
June 12th, 2011, 06:11 PM
TaraJo29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamma_anna View Post
Who are these people?? Where is this happening??
It happens with family & friends... at parties, when they visit, or what have you. I'm not sure what their intentions are. Sometimes I think they're just being "helpful," and sometimes it starts out just talking with the kids "Oh, we're going to have ice cream for dessert. Do you know how to spell ice cream?" But then they press it so long when the kids don't know the answer that I'm thinking "alright already. Do they expect that my 1st grader should be able to spell ice cream?" At least, I don't. ...Too bad they didn't say, "Oh we're having subs for lunch. Can you spell subs?" LOL He could handle that one. I have some friends who have pretty over-bearing personalities at times. I thought maybe that kind of thing was fairly common, but maybe it's just the people I'm around. (?)

It is awkward and I don't know exactly how to handle it. I barely ever say anything b/c I don't know if I'm being too easily annoyed or paranoid that they think I'm not doing a good job homeschooling, or what.
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  #8  
June 13th, 2011, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraJo29 View Post

It is awkward and I don't know exactly how to handle it. I barely ever say anything b/c I don't know if I'm being too easily annoyed or paranoid that they think I'm not doing a good job homeschooling, or what.

I hate that feeling - I know it well - and I think that's a possibility just because I've noticed with myself that the more comfortable and confident I get with what we're doing and how we're doing it, these things bother me less and less.


I would have to say something though if it was getting to DS .. you know, like he was showing signs of feeling bad about these things. There is a big difference between teaching and testing the child with expectations about what he ought to be able to do and I'd want to be sure DS wasn't being confused about what is expected of him. Me feeling awkward is one thing, I can handle that - my baby being made to feel like he's falling short, now that's another thing.
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  #9  
June 13th, 2011, 07:58 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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Only happens with my parents from time to time. I haven't had others do that, yet anyway. They also know that Sarah has struggled with her letters/writing and all of that but yet make comments that she should know how to do whatever by now.
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  #10  
June 14th, 2011, 04:18 PM
TaraJo29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Studious Mrs P. View Post
Me feeling awkward is one thing, I can handle that - my baby being made to feel like he's falling short, now that's another thing.
I totally agree! I like to think I would say something at that point. If not at that time, I would definitely tell my DS to not worry about it.
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