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  #1  
July 4th, 2011, 01:50 PM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So a few weeks ago DH was all behind homeschooling so I started making plans for the year, looked into art and music programs etc and now today he decides to be against it and wont even hear my arguments for it! I dont want to do this if he wont be supportive so I am completely stuck, I dont trust the local public school to meet her academic needs (she is ahead of grade level) and we cant afford the Private school tuition next year.... I am completely crushed right now since I feel like I either have to upset my husband and start a bone of contention between us when this winter is going to bring such a big change to our lives already or let my daughter down in regards to her education.
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  #2  
July 5th, 2011, 07:02 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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What changed his mind?? Sounds like someone was pressuring him or telling him something. Talk to him and find out what is going on. Don't give up just yet!!
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  #3  
July 5th, 2011, 07:02 PM
Jill0924's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree, you definitely need to get him to talk about what exactly is bothering him. Communication is, IMHO, the most important part of a marriage, so I think you definitely should never make a decision because he "refuses" to talk about it. Refusing to talk should not be ok, and I would gently let him know that. Ask him to let you know when he is able to talk about this so that you can make a decision together, whatever way that decision goes is irrelevant, you will be making it together and both of you should feel good about it.
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  #4  
July 6th, 2011, 06:09 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill0924 View Post
I agree, you definitely need to get him to talk about what exactly is bothering him. Communication is, IMHO, the most important part of a marriage, so I think you definitely should never make a decision because he "refuses" to talk about it. Refusing to talk should not be ok, and I would gently let him know that. Ask him to let you know when he is able to talk about this so that you can make a decision together, whatever way that decision goes is irrelevant, you will be making it together and both of you should feel good about it.
Agreed! Don't just let it go, you'll feel completely betrayed and bitter! And to the bolded, it's not okay for either one of you to refuse to talk about anything. The key to successful communication is being calm and willing to listen, and that goes for your side too. Be willing to listen to his reasons, because he obviously feels very strongly about them, and if he feels threatened, he won't talk. Of course, I'm sure you know all this Sorry to sound like I'm preaching. I learned all this the hard way, too.
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  #5  
July 11th, 2011, 07:35 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I'm joining this conversation late... did you get an answer?
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  #6  
July 11th, 2011, 11:06 PM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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his concern from the get go was that me being home all day makes me cranky...which it does but thats because I am bored! I think he was talking to one of his friends who's wife is also pregnant and this guy is 150% percent against homeschool and cloth... the only reason why he hasnt gone back on our i.e my decision to use cloth is we already have bought the infant prefolds we will need.
I am trying to explain to him that I am cranky because I am bored and since I will be home all day anyway with the new baby what difference does it make?! Also that if I have SOMETHING to keep me busy all day other then cleaning, which I hate BTW, then I wont be so mean...
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  #7  
July 12th, 2011, 01:48 AM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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If that's his only concern, I'd say it's not valid(since it's just a guess on how you'll be and he can't possibly know, until you try it).
I tend to have the minority vote when it comes to this sort of subject, though. I tend to not listen to people when their concerns seem invalid or unreasonable. I tend to side with the parent who has the child(or children)'s best interest at heart more times than not.


I hope whatever you guys decide to do, you find a way to communicate your concerns and wishes with each other. Not communicating-even if you don't agree-is not a good thing in any way. It just causes unnecessary tension on you both. It's liable to make you more cranky than being home all day will anyway

(I'd tell him that too, if he's not willing to really sit down and talk with you, he can't be all that concerned about you being cranky...because doing that pretty much says you *will be cranky at him, lol)
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  #8  
July 12th, 2011, 04:53 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I agree! I'd be cranky AT HIM too!
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  #9  
July 12th, 2011, 06:03 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dandelions-n-Mudpuddles View Post
If that's his only concern, I'd say it's not valid(since it's just a guess on how you'll be and he can't possibly know, until you try it).
I tend to have the minority vote when it comes to this sort of subject, though. I tend to not listen to people when their concerns seem invalid or unreasonable. I tend to side with the parent who has the child(or children)'s best interest at heart more times than not.


I hope whatever you guys decide to do, you find a way to communicate your concerns and wishes with each other. Not communicating-even if you don't agree-is not a good thing in any way. It just causes unnecessary tension on you both. It's liable to make you more cranky than being home all day will anyway

(I'd tell him that too, if he's not willing to really sit down and talk with you, he can't be all that concerned about you being cranky...because doing that pretty much says you *will be cranky at him, lol)
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Originally Posted by BensMom View Post
I agree! I'd be cranky AT HIM too!
DITTO!!!!! Tell him to get over it and that you already bought a bunch of HS supplies LOL!!
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  #10  
July 12th, 2011, 11:06 AM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh he has seen me home all day before and I was really mean. When we 1st were married we moved from CT to VA, we had been married 13 days before we moved and we only had one car. So he would go to work, which was about an hour-2 hours away depending on traffic, so he would come home and I would want to leave and go out but I didnt know anyone at the time so I would fight with him to take me out. We had a lot of issues in the beginning of our marriage because of that and we had DD then too but since we didnt know anyone we just kind of sat around the house (she was 3 then) and I didnt focus too much on pre-k work with her then either.
So there is a history of me being mean when I am home all day so I understand his concerns but the big issue is he doesnt seem to get that sitting at home with hardly anything to do will make me meaner then being home and having something to focus on will
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  #11  
July 16th, 2011, 02:15 PM
hoping4more
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my hubby was totally against hs-ing at first. i told him lets just give it 1 year and see what happens.... well he has no problems now. i will be hs-ing 2 next year. also i would like to point out that you where freashly married just moved and knew no one.... i would be cranky to. i remember when i was first married, i think it's bumpy for everyone but you do adjust.
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  #12  
July 16th, 2011, 06:33 PM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hoping4more View Post
i remember when i was first married, i think it's bumpy for everyone but you do adjust.
Absolutely Staying home all day with nothing to do is booorring. But staying home all day with a child or children that you are teaching and learning with and feeding and cleaning, etc., is completely different. I hope he will at least let you try it, so he can see how it goes!
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Hi, I'm Sara. I used to post here a lot when I was having the kids, but life got busy and it's been years since I was around. Now I'm back, and happy to be here.

Married to my best friend for a decade.
Mom to:

Cassidy, 6.5 yrs. Born 10/23/07, 7 pounds 10 ounces, 20 in.

Joel, 4.75 yrs. Born 6/23/09, 9 pounds 12 ounces, 21 in.

Timothy, 2 yrs. Born 3/20/12, 9 pounds 4 ounces, 22.5 in.






































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