|
How involved is she in her lessons? By that I mean how much of what she learns is chosen by her?
That's a rough age (I have a dd who just turned 13 too, lol) no matter what. Kids are still trying to be kids, but not kids. MY dd chooses a LOT of her own stuff. That means sometimes we bounce around in lessons, especially in things like science, history, etc.. Things that you don't necessarily have to "go in order", you know? Her Language Arts is almost entirely chosen by her. I have same basics, or cores, that are simply part of the curriculum which she has to do regardless, but she gets a lot more freedom.
That keeps her more interested in what she's doing. I think that might be part of your problem, she's simply not interested. It could be the topics she's working on, the way they're being taught/presented, anything really. That's not to say you're not doing a good job or anything, of course. But I'd be really flexible when and where you can and see if things improve. Maybe take a different approach to some things than you have been. If you are doing more work sheets, book learning, sit down tasks, maybe you could try to mix in more hands on and tactile lessons. Give her a project that's entirely lead by her. Have her choose something like a science fair type project, or a report, or, well, anything really. Tell her she gets to pick her topic, do her own research, and let her have at it (and be there if she needs help, but don't hover, if you know what I mean, let her guide her own way through it).
I do all of those things, to some extent, with all three of mine (who are 8, 10 and 13), and it works great. Especially during weeks when it seems nothing is going to get done, because everyone has a case of the mondays. It makes those lessons we can't go a different route, all the easier to handle, when we've got a lot more child lead lessons in place. They really enjoy it too. Language arts happens to be one area that despite the curriculum, the kids can pretty much do whatever they want. We're actually almost done for the whole year, because of it.(which means I'll just add in more stuff, find different stuff to do, etc..). It's really helped boost Leo's reading skills too.
I wouldn't personally take things away unless it was a clear sign of defiance. I don't think being daydreamy and unable to stay on task is normally an act of defiance. More like an act of boredom, possibly even because the material is either too easy or too hard. But it could be different for you and your child. I know when mine get defiant, it's more a matter of them willfully not doing what they need to do, lol. Like "I hate...insert whatever", the tears that sometimes ensue, huffing and puffing, pretending we can't do something that yesterday we did fine, that sort of thing. Those are usually just off days, not a regular thing, though. And just about anything can trigger that, but it's definitely not a consistent thing.
Everyone has off days, but off weeks, usually stem from some other place, imo.
Have you sat down with her and asked what's wrong? She's old enough to be able to tell you, most likely. I'd try that first and foremost. Have a sit down chat and try and figure out what's causing her to lose focus and then figure out a game plan *together, from there.
|
Linear Mode
