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  • 1 Post By New_England_Girl
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  #1  
October 30th, 2012, 03:17 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nevada
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Our daughter is the only girl and is constantly asking about having friends when she goes to school. She is only aware of what she see's on television and with her older brother who attends a brick and mortar school. She is not really aware of the fact we plan to HS her even though we have tried to explain how it will work. How do the children make and have friends while being homeschooled? Do they simply just have friends from their outside activities or neighborhood children? This is always many peoples argument to HS'ing. They feel children are not provided the correct social skills and lack interaction with other children. I am still learning and have no idea how the "friend" and socialization problem is solved.
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  #2  
October 30th, 2012, 03:42 PM
bookworm16_2000's Avatar Mom to Allison and JR
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
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We're part of a homeschool group and she has plenty of friends (at 2 1/2)! We have a once a week park date open to all local homeschool families and from there we meet up with different families a few times a month (kids she's closer to, moms I'm friends with, co-op classes). If we lived in a town/city, she'd play with the neighborhood kids and when she's older, I'm sure we'll have more outside activities.
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  #3  
October 31st, 2012, 05:09 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Chilly New England
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Like many others on this board, I have issues with the "socialization" question: i.e., that if my child was in public school, they should not be there to socialize anyway...they should be there to do their school. People don't go to work to "socialize"...neither should children go to school to "socialize". School is for your education.

Anyway, our kids get plenty of socialization. They have many cousins, some friends their own age, and a ton of friends either older or younger than they are. I like that they have friends of all ages, because I think that it helps with their social skills. I've often noticed that children who are in a classroom with 30 other kids their own age all the time have a hard time relating to people older or younger than themselves.
My kids are very social and seem to make friends wherever we go (lately, the grocery store! ) We meet people at the library, at church, at the doctor's office, on walks, at family functions, etc. etc. Since they go everywhere with me, they meet people every day. People are often astounded that my 5-year-old can hold a great conversation with adults. And I'm not saying that to brag, but to encourage you that your kids are going to be just fine in the area of so-called "socialization"!

You are persevering in the face of some discouraging people Keep up the good work! Your children are worth it
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  #4  
October 31st, 2012, 07:25 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I found a large homeschool group in my area that meets weekly for several hours. With over 400 families, there are kids of all ages in the group and lots of them. Its also a chance for me to socialize. I have found, with the group I go to, that the older kids kind of adopt the younger ones and help them learn to not only make friends but solve conflict among themselves, which is a wonderful social skill to have.

We also have friends at church, scouting, dance, sports, and 4H.
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  #5  
October 31st, 2012, 01:06 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
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Article: We Don't Believe in Socialization

"Socialization" isn't 25 kids who are the same age as you, it's learning how to survive in the real world. Homeschoolers are better socialized than public schoolers, because they have WAY more opportunities to interact with people of all ages and backgrounds. My kids have close friends from church, homeschool groups, sports, summer camp, etc.
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  #6  
November 1st, 2012, 12:18 AM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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We don't have any homeschool groups here, or anywhere near here. Plus, like I said before, we're homebodies, lol. But the kids do have some kids in the neighborhood they play with, and some other close friends. One family directly across the street from us, though I think they're moving later this school year, they have 3 or 4 kids all around my kids' ages. There's also a little boy next door the same age as Leo that they've been good friends with since about 05. He and Leo used to play in the front yard as toddlers, lol. There aren't a ton of kids in our neighborhood, unfortunately. The ones who live further up and towards the city form us are not kids I want mine spending time with. The city has areas where there are a crap ton of families. I happen to live in a neighborhood with mostly older folks, or people with kids in college. The neighbor boy has two siblings in college.
But the ones they do spend time with regularly range in age from toddler to about 13 I think. Not including the one kid's brother's friends(that sounds confusing, lol). They're teenagers, but very well behaved ones. The kids think it's fun to play basketball with them. Leo's obsessed with the one kid's truck. But they're not around as much during the school year as they are the summer. You won't find many kids over the age of 11 in this area that actually behave. So well behaved and mannered teens is nice Plus since we don't have sidewalks and people use our road as a speeding cut-through, they tend to look out for the kids around here when they're over this way.

If we did more things out of the house, they'd have more friends. We don't, mostly because we can't, though. But the friends they do have, are close friends.
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  #7  
November 1st, 2012, 05:55 AM
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Location: Virginia
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My girls social mainly through activities. They are both in Girl Scouts, and they have both made wonderful friends. They go to Sunday School for an hour each week, which helps them learn to talk about specific subjects in group settings. My 12 year old is in Gymnastics, so she is around kids in her age range for 90 minutes each week. My 10 year old is in Irish Dance and competes, so she has both friends at her dance school and friends from other dance schools. Lately we have discovered that many of the kids she dances with are also homeschooled, so we are making plans to spend more time with them.

Just having your daughter in activities will help her make friends and you get a chance to know the parents better too. The library is a great place to meet other homeschool families.

Nancy
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  #8  
November 1st, 2012, 07:28 AM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
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Location: NB, Canada
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My children have a lot of friends their ages- mostly from activities (dance class, soccer, Sunday School, VBS, etc) and my friend's children. We would attend a homeschool group, but the nearest one is almost two hours away.
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  #9  
November 1st, 2012, 08:21 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks guys for all the great advice. I'm definitely learning a lot from everyone and feel I'm a little more ready to really get more structure to it.
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  #10  
November 3rd, 2012, 08:45 AM
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My kids mainly play with neighborhood kids. I try to set up playdates for them still. It's easier now that the older two can just be dropped off, or their friends can come over here...they're old enough to not have a parent stay.

They do a number of activities, but much like school, the activities are not really a great chance to socialize. Like soccer practice is one hour - and during that time they are playing soccer. It's not really a time to talk and play other stuff. Of course they have met other kids through these activities, and have gotten invites to playdates and birthday parties that way.

And finally...I have four kids. They play with each other, lol.
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  #11  
November 4th, 2012, 07:30 AM
2Corinthians10:4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Dd has a lot of friends from outside activities (gymnastics, church, co-op) and a couple close friends that go to PS. We only have a couple close friends here because we just moved, but back home (where we will probably be in 3 years), she has a lot more close friends and family. I don't think she is lacking at all in the socialization department, and like Chrystal said, she is learning to socialize with everyone and not just kids her own age. One of her favorite things is talking to the older people in line with us at the commissary, lol.
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  #12  
November 7th, 2012, 02:05 PM
Sandra314's Avatar Homeschooling Mom
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Where we previously lived, we were part of a large homeschool group and community but since moving the boys' friends have been cousins and a few neighboring children. I have been looking into a homeschool group where we live that we can be part of for co-op activities and other events.
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  #13  
November 7th, 2012, 06:55 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by New_England_Girl View Post
Like many others on this board, I have issues with the "socialization" question: i.e., that if my child was in public school, they should not be there to socialize anyway...they should be there to do their school. People don't go to work to "socialize"...neither should children go to school to "socialize". School is for your education.
This is what I always say when the question comes up!

My kids made friends with kids in the neighborhood or kids in activities they participate in or kids they meet any place we go (and even adults)
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  #14  
November 13th, 2012, 07:24 PM
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We have, literally, just begun to homeschool our 4 year old. But, so far I have noticed that he is as social as I am. If I take the time to talk to people in church and at the library or anywhere else we may go then he will emulate that. We have a friend who homeschools and her son has recently turned 6/7(?). He is big enough now that people think he ought to be in school during the day and not at the grocery store with his mother. One day the person behind them at the checkout asked about how she was going to socialize him. At this point she looked at the woman and told her "I socialize my dog, not my child."
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