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Heelllllp! I need a CURE!!


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  #1  
August 17th, 2006, 06:42 AM
KarateMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so tired of my children being selfish with their toys! I'm fed up with hearing, "Heeeyyy, that's MINE!" when the toy in question wasn't even being played with by the whining child! I'm AT THE END OF MY ROPE!! *pant pant pant*
OK, I'm done ranting.
But, seriously, I'm looking for some creative ways to deal with this problem. I know that it is something that kids go through, but I want to "train them out of it", so to speak.
Any hints? Please?
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  #2  
August 17th, 2006, 06:50 AM
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That is hard...really really hard.
Basically, to help around here, this is what I started doing. For example, if Carter has Patrick's toy and Patrick is upset, I will ask Patrick if Carter took it FROM him. If not, then there is no reason why Carter can't play with it. The only time I might say that he can't play with it is if it is a toy that can be used up or if it is a specific video game that can be messed up if played by someone else. I'm just basically trying to stop the mindset of, "You can't playe with it BECAUSE it is mine." I know...it's VERY hard...so so hard. I hope you find a way to help. No method is 100% for sure!!!
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  #3  
August 17th, 2006, 06:53 AM
KarateMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's good advice! Thanks!
How do you deal with the whole "I was playing with it 10 minutes ago" and/or "I was going to play with it"?
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  #4  
August 17th, 2006, 08:06 AM
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Quote:
That's good advice! Thanks!
How do you deal with the whole "I was playing with it 10 minutes ago" and/or "I was going to play with it"?[/b]
They are both irrelevant. The rule is that if they didn't take it out of your hand, then you didn't have it. Granted, if one has it lying RIGHT beside them and the other takes it, that is equal to taking it out of their hands. The "was going to play with it" is a hard one. In that case, the one that has it keeps it, but I ask them to play with it for a certain amount of time and then let the other have a turn. All of that happens a lot around here. Some days, I just want to sit back and see what happens if I don't intervene. Well, those cases have never turned out pretty...haha. Needless to say, it didn't work. Man, I didn't know I was signing up to learn the fine art of a referee when I became a mom. It is just one more thing in our long list of job descriptions!!!
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  #5  
August 17th, 2006, 12:34 PM
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We have a rule that only 3 toys are allowed out at one time, or a set of toys (like legos or My Little Ponies) so we always know what each child is actually playing with. This helps with the "but I was going to play with it" aspect and helps keep my house relatively clean-looking. We also allow each child a few toys that are theirs alone, just so they have something they absolutely don't have to share. This works well with mine because they're so far apart in age, sometimes it's more a safety issue (no, don't let your baby brother eat your legos). Otherwise share and share alike!
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  #6  
August 17th, 2006, 03:32 PM
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Our rule (and I don't know if and when it will help as we have conflicts over toys all the time ) is if a toy is out in the living room/comman area then it's in the sharing zone. That means if a toy is brought out into the sharing zone then it is for sharing. So if your brother/sister has a toy then they get to play with it. You do not take it off them. If the toy has many pieces like our FP little people zoo set then you can share the pieces. Misused toys (my ds throws things) or toys that are causing conflict go up on the cupboard and nobody plays with it. If a toy/toy set belongs to my daughter then once her brother has finished playing then she can pick it all up and take it to her bedroom. The mantra here that I repeat dayly is "If you don't want your brother to play with it, then set it up in your room. Your room is your own privet space"
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  #7  
August 17th, 2006, 07:46 PM
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Thanks so much for all of your advice! I'll have to give some of these suggestions a try. This morning, I was ready to tell Reilly that if she was going to be selfish, then I was going to take ALL of her toys away. Of course, then it would be up to ME to entertain her all the time, so I'm glad I came to my senses before I threatened that!

OT, but, MindyLee!! Glad you're here!
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  #8  
August 17th, 2006, 09:06 PM
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If miguel can't share a toy. He has a choose of sharing or puting it in the box "children who have no toys" and it gets donated. He shares or if he's particularly spitful he'll put it in the box. Eather way he shares with someone. Now he never gets that ultimatum becase he would rather share.
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  #9  
August 18th, 2006, 05:43 AM
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We handle the toy sharing situation just like Shery does. Surprisingly, we rarely have battles over toys. All my boys are fairly close in age, so most of the toys go together so they can play all at once (star wars light sabers--3 total, legos, match box cars, boxing gloves--3 sets, etc.) Our main issues around here is aggrevating each other to no end.
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