Log In Sign Up

How Many of You Can Relate To This?


Forum: Homeschooling

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Homeschooling LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 24th, 2007, 06:42 AM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,696
Guilt
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center">Visit my Homeschool Blog Our Place</div>[/size][/b]
Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 24th, 2007, 09:00 AM
~hsingtreehouse~
Guest
Posts: n/a
Beautifully written. I can totally relate.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 24th, 2007, 09:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
What are you feeling guilty about Shery?
__________________
Earthy-Birthy Tree-hugging Mama to 5 (6 for now) great kids:

SciGuy,14 Butterfly Girl,12 Wyldchild,7 FlowerFairy,5 and Babybird,3

and RK, 13, exchange student from Japan

My Homeschooling Blog:
Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 24th, 2007, 09:21 AM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,696
Quote:
What are you feeling guilty about Shery?[/b]
More like...what do I not feel guilty about. Guilt is my worst enemy, and I am the only one who invites it in. My family doesn't put pressure on me...at least not intentionally.
Maybe it is because I am OCD....maybe it comes from searching for a mother figure and never finding the kind of love that only a mother can give...maybe I am just hard on myself....maybe my expectations are too high. I guess there could be many reasons for the fact that I let guilt eat at me. I don't do it as badly as I once did, at least not in certain areas, but it is still there.
I have talked to many other mothers that say they are the same way. I think many women try to be so much to everyone that there is no way that their expectations can be fulfilled. The lucky ones are able to brush it off and keep going.....then there are the ones who feel guilty for it. I am one of those. I put a lot on myself. My guilt doesn't usually come from something that Ihave done, but instead, for things that are left undone......a house that isn't clean enough...lessons that weren't done during schooling....clothes that need put away....time with Jeff that wasn't found.....things left unsaid.........decisions never made.....etc. etc.
I was just wondering how many here fall into the same category as myself. And, for those who do not, how do you keep from it?
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center">Visit my Homeschool Blog Our Place</div>[/size][/b]
Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 24th, 2007, 09:32 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
I think everyone feels guilty about things. When I start feeling guilty first I try to see what I can do to change the feeling. If nothing, then I try to push it away. I figure feeling guilty about something that cannot be changed isn't worth dwelling on. Easier said than done, but that's what I try to do.
__________________


~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 24th, 2007, 12:15 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,288
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
I've never struggled with guilt much, except, of course, when I have truly done something I should feel guilty about. After our daughter died, for example, everybody told me not to blame myself, but I never did. I never experienced any guilt because I knew it wasn't my fault. For me, knowing in my head that I shouldn't feel guilty is enough for me to keep it out of my heart. I've been working for years to control these emotions of mine, and guilt is just one I happen to have conquered. Some people think you can't help how you feel; I personally think you can.

I wanted to clarify that last statement of mine. I said I think you can control your emotions, but I recognize that isn't the case for everyone... those suffering depression or mental illness obviously can't just "snap out of it". I've suffered depression before, and I know that all too well. I jsut didn't mean it the way I suddenly realized it sounds.
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 24th, 2007, 12:29 PM
JustAKrazymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Berkshire Hills MAss
Posts: 4,815
Send a message via AIM to JustAKrazymom Send a message via MSN to JustAKrazymom
Shery... I can 110% relate.. Your post ( and the blog) could have been written by me. I definitely think the OCD plays a huge part and unless someone has it they can not grasp the feels us OCD'ers have. I am hear if you ever wanna compare OCD notes!
__________________
~Alison~
Homeschooling "soccer mom" by day.. crazy bartender by night
Noah 17,Declan 10, Jadziah 8, Taejan 6
Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 24th, 2007, 12:32 PM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,696
Quote:
Shery... I can 110% relate.. Your post ( and the blog) could have been written by me. I definitely think the OCD plays a huge part and unless someone has it they can not grasp the feels us OCD'ers have. I am hear if you ever wanna compare OCD notes![/b]
Thankyou Alison.
My twin sister and I talk about it all the time. It makes us feel normal .
Thanks for the note!
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center">Visit my Homeschool Blog Our Place</div>[/size][/b]
Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 24th, 2007, 04:52 PM
JustAKrazymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Berkshire Hills MAss
Posts: 4,815
Send a message via AIM to JustAKrazymom Send a message via MSN to JustAKrazymom
Normal..what the heck is normal???rofl..not me that's for sure!
__________________
~Alison~
Homeschooling "soccer mom" by day.. crazy bartender by night
Noah 17,Declan 10, Jadziah 8, Taejan 6
Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 25th, 2007, 10:27 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,657
I have a guilt issue with not being perfect. perfect mom, wife, daughter, sister. I'll tell you what my husband says maybe it will help you. To be perfect is to be stagnant, none human, like superman when he had cleaned up the world and was putting litterers in jail. It's removing everything everyone loves about you to be empty, perfect. I hope this helps a little. I know exactly how you guys feel
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #11  
May 25th, 2007, 10:53 AM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,696
Quote:
I have a guilt issue with not being perfect. perfect mom, wife, daughter, sister. I'll tell you what my husband says maybe it will help you. To be perfect is to be stagnant, none human, like superman when he had cleaned up the world and was putting litterers in jail. It's removing everything everyone loves about you to be empty, perfect. I hope this helps a little. I know exactly how you guys feel[/b]
Wow! That's good....really, really good!
Thanks so much.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center">Visit my Homeschool Blog Our Place</div>[/size][/b]
Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 25th, 2007, 10:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,657
your welcome hope it helps.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #13  
May 25th, 2007, 12:36 PM
twiggybumble
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
What are you feeling guilty about Shery?[/b]
More like...what do I not feel guilty about. Guilt is my worst enemy, and I am the only one who invites it in. My family doesn't put pressure on me...at least not intentionally.
Maybe it is because I am OCD....maybe it comes from searching for a mother figure and never finding the kind of love that only a mother can give...maybe I am just hard on myself....maybe my expectations are too high. I guess there could be many reasons for the fact that I let guilt eat at me. I don't do it as badly as I once did, at least not in certain areas, but it is still there.
I have talked to many other mothers that say they are the same way. I think many women try to be so much to everyone that there is no way that their expectations can be fulfilled. The lucky ones are able to brush it off and keep going.....then there are the ones who feel guilty for it. I am one of those. I put a lot on myself. My guilt doesn't usually come from something that Ihave done, but instead, for things that are left undone......a house that isn't clean enough...lessons that weren't done during schooling....clothes that need put away....time with Jeff that wasn't found.....things left unsaid.........decisions never made.....etc. etc.
I was just wondering how many here fall into the same category as myself. And, for those who do not, how do you keep from it?
[/b]
I just wanted to say that maybe you can turn this around by realizing a few simple things about yourself.
1. You are a sensitive woman, you care deeply for those around you, and you want the best for them. This should make you feel Good!! Rather than feeling badly when you don't get every little thing done, try feeling proud of yourself, and good inside, because you know that your children and your husband are better for having you with them. Not everyone cares!

2. No one, and I do mean No One can do everything all the time. And even if they could, there would be things undone within those things. Life will continue tomorrow, laundry or not, lessons or not. Be Proud of what you do for your family, and Smile! Chase the guilt away by focusing on the positives.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:01 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0