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  #1  
July 12th, 2007, 07:37 PM
4boys
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I'm sure this has been discussed many times on this board but it seems to be the one thing that people harp on when talking about homeschooling. My SIL was over the other night and she told me that the majority of homeschooled kids she knew were "weird" and had "no social skills" and the ones she knew that were normal took a few classes at the high school. She made it sound like that was why they were normal. Besides her comments being kind of rude and inconsiderate (she knows very well I am starting to homeschool Bailey this fall), I know it's a load of crap.

I guess I just need some reassurance. Do you think kids need to socialize? Especially at kindergarten age? What activities are your kids involved in outside of home? Are mine going to grow up weird???

What the heck is it about siblings and family that doesn't count as socializing???? My kids are NEVER alone. Bailey and Toby are pretty much stuck like glue and we have people who aren't family coming over and stuff all the time. UGH.
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  #2  
July 12th, 2007, 08:15 PM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,696
It sounds like your SIL has a little jealousy issue going on!
I think socializing in settings outside of the school is not only acceptable and enough, but preferred. I'm not sure WHERE IN THE WORLD the idea got started that the school setting was the perfect...and only...setting for socializing. I'm pretty sure that the public school system was never started for the sake of socializing. In the days before the public school, how in the world did people get socialized...obviously they all did. People need to let go of the notion that a child's main and only interaction with other children is at school. I know many well round, very socialized homeschooled children...from birth to senior!
Like I said, sounds like SIL has a little jealousy issue going on...don't be surprised if she starts homeschooling soon!!!
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  #3  
July 12th, 2007, 09:40 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 5,231
You and me both!! I have come to hate that word. Its the one issue non homeschoolers bring up that has absolutely no validity whatsoever...but what are you gonna say? Uh huh, my kids are too socialized!!

Its interesting because I'm reading a book by John Taylor Gatto- he seems to think that public schools were made for the exact purpose of socializing kids...socializing them to be a cog in society, not to think for themselves, and to accept whatever an adult or teacher tells them- which to me borders on brainwashing but anyways- whether that was intentional or not...that is often what happens to kids anyways and I do not want that for my kids. To worry about peer pressure and all the negative socialization that goes on there...

Here are some articles that I've found helpful...

http://members.aol.com/KEVIN4VFT/MooreKidz.htm
http://www.redshift.com/~bonajo/socialresearch.htm
http://www.redshift.com/~bonajo/socialization.htm
http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html
http://homeschoolinformation.com/homeschoo...statistics1.htm
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  #4  
July 13th, 2007, 05:09 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Don't worry about it and ignore her. I've met some weird homeschoolers. I've met some weird public schoolers. I've met some weird private schoolers. Some kids are just naturally weird. One thing I've noticed is a lot of people don't realize that they know people who were homeschooled. It's not like we introduce ourselves saying "Hi, I am Heather and I am formerly homeschooled." And then some people ASSUME people are or were homeschooled because they are so weird and it turns out they aren't or weren't. One thing I HAVE noticed about homeschooled kids is they are more able to talk appropriately to a wider range of ages, particularly adults.
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  #5  
July 13th, 2007, 06:44 AM
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I had a bit of reality check last night. A friend in my Mom's group was talking about someone else we both know who homeschools her kids. She said "well, they're homeschooled, they have no socialization skills whatsoever!" (I think she may have forgotten for a moment that I homeschool my kids too!) Anyway, I found the accusation odd because I think these homeschooled kids are sweet and well-behaved kids who seem to socialize just fine. Seems almost like a knee-jerk reaction for some. They don't even consider the child's actual behavior and just seem stuck on the idea that if they're homeschooled, they're social outcasts or something! Wow, wonder what they say about my kids when I'm not there!
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  #6  
July 13th, 2007, 08:04 AM
ShaniFaye's Avatar Member
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Location: Lilburn, GA
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I get really tired of hearing crap like that too. We are lucky, our county has a REALLY home school association that has all sorts of "socializing". Amanda is more social that I was at her age, and I *gasp* was in public school. her manners are also better than a lot of "public" school kids

She has great social skills and can actually carry on conversations and interact with little kids, peers and adults!!!

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  #7  
July 13th, 2007, 09:22 AM
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I was going to add that the homeschoolers I know generally have better attitudes than the public schoolers I know- I work in children's church and the ones who are always listening diligently are the homeschoolers, and guess who are the ones goofing off?? This is a generalization of course, but in my experience it has held true. Also, there is one particular homeschooling family I have become friends with and ALL their kids feel perfectly comfortable holding long conversations with me. The mom even has to tell one of the younger ones to stop talking to me all the time! haha! I think thats great because at that age I was so incredibly shy I couldn't talk to anyone!
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  #8  
July 13th, 2007, 04:07 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I think she may have forgotten for a moment that I homeschool my kids too![/b]
So did she remember?
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  #9  
July 13th, 2007, 06:13 PM
4boys
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Thank you so much for the reassurance. Sometimes it feels like I am all alone in my endeavor to raise wonderful, well-behaved children! But I know all of you are attempting the same and I am thankful I can come on here for support! Retrocute, thanks for the articles, I am going to read them right now.

ETA: Ok, I read them, I LOVED them!! Thank you so much for posting those links! I bookmarked some of them.
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  #10  
July 13th, 2007, 08:29 PM
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Good! Glad I could help! The ladies here posted those for me when I first started posting here a while back! Glad I could pass them on!
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  #11  
July 14th, 2007, 12:45 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,318
Yea...I am with the other ladies.

Forced Schooling wasn't created for fun and social times for children. That is a lie. It was made so that we would all be schooled the same, be the same, in thought and desire. Think about it. One size fits all materials. Can't talk out of line in class. If you have a different growth and idea from something you are wrong! They are getting the children ready for society. To work at walmart, a desk, or whatever. To do the same tasks over and over again. The curriculum is dumbed down again and again. School is now longer than ever, with tons of afterschool homework and our kids are failing!!!! They are learning to hate school and they are bucking the system. Why else to we have the current state of schools?

The wonderful and peaceful environment of the home is one that is conductive to learning. Only when we can branch out and go down rabbit trails are we ever truly learning. Learning must be brought on by passion and want of that knowledge. Then it sticks. Time with ones mother and father and siblings is IMPORTANT! The most important in my book. In the home children learn about boundaries with one another, they learn how to hurt and how to seek forgiveness. They learn to console and they learn to give tough love. When they get this they can go out into the world and know how to set boundaries for themselves and others. They know how to interact with those that they may not get on well with or those they have hurt. They know how to be helpful and they know how to think! They end up in a career they love and thrive in...one in which they can grow in forever.

I chose the gentle place of home for my children. I chose to show them my real self. I chose to teach them real love and respect. I chose to give them wings to fly!

Now, I know that some of us came out of ps with flying colors. But what about those of us who didn't? I didn't.

And about socialization...I went to school...sat in a desk....had a hard time fitting in...came home...suffered abuse....never allowed to go anywhere or do anything...etc. I wasn't socialized! But I did learn to be me in secret. I read ALOT. I dreamed alot. And as I have grown I have been able to become the real me. I would much rather my children have that safe place to be themselves without it being a secret!

Gosh this stuff sets me off ladies!
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  #12  
July 14th, 2007, 03:08 PM
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Well said, Chelita!! It made me feel all warm inside! That's exactly how learning should be. I want to be a watering can that helps my kiddos blossom.
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  #13  
July 15th, 2007, 08:48 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Louisiana
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Exactly!
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  #14  
July 16th, 2007, 05:02 AM
Regular
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5
My children are better socialized than many of their own peers in the schools. I have seen both outgoing and introverted children within our homeschooling community, but I think it's all on how the parent approaches it. This weekend while attending a class for homeschoolers at our local historical museum, we watched how many of the parents took over for their children during the assigned tasks. A lot of the children would defer to their parent to make the choices for them when it came to the problem solving task which involved budgeting your resources so you had enough left over for the land auction at the end of the class. We guided our children, let them make decisions on their own. They were able to problem solve their way through the exercise and won out the bidding war on the best plot because they had utilized their skills to come up with the best solution. We did not speak up for them when questions were asked, they made all the major decisions for the exercise and they were able to enjoy the outcome and build confidence because they were able to do most of it on their own.

I think the key to have a well socialized child is by helping them build up their skills and confidence. Guide them, but give them the room to learn from their mistakes. Because we have always incorporated skills in their lives that we wanted them to learn since they were little, they are more confident in taking a leadership role in any situation, they are able to step outside their comfort zone to do things and meet new people.

We also try to involve them in many experiences that will help them gain the traits that will help them later in life. A suggestion that I would make is to look into martial arts training. That was where my children learned many of their leadership skills and confidence.

www.thehomeschoolexchange.com
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  #15  
July 17th, 2007, 06:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,160
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I think she may have forgotten for a moment that I homeschool my kids too![/b]
So did she remember?
[/b][/quote]


Probably, but she didn't say anything. I think it was just one of those things that slipped out.
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Earthy-Birthy Tree-hugging Mama to 5 (6 for now) great kids:

SciGuy,14 Butterfly Girl,12 Wyldchild,7 FlowerFairy,5 and Babybird,3

and RK, 13, exchange student from Japan

My Homeschooling Blog:
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  #16  
July 17th, 2007, 08:28 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,318
That was a great post Mom4kids!
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